What it was like to be morbidly obese

At my heaviest I weighed 130.6 kg (just over 20? stone). I hated being fat and hated even more being that fat. Yes, I knew it was unhealthy. I was fat not stupid, and people seemed to think that I was fat because I was stupid or because I had no self-control. Proof that I do have self-control was proved when I didn’t slap them when they pointed out: this wasn’t good for me, I should lose weight or… (insert any of hundreds of ways of saying “You are obviously stupid because you don’t know this” can be said). And yes, people would say it, even complete strangers. In part, I think, because fat people can be judged harshly…after all we are fat because we eat too much, right? That is true, but, for me, I was so fat because of the very complicated relationship I had, and still have, with food.

If I was unhappy, or sad (insert any negative emotion) food would comfort me. If I was happy, upbeat or whatever, then I’d eat to celebrate. The food I am talking about was never a salad or a crispbread, it was chocolate, cakes, potatoes (any style). Why I have succeeded in losing weight, and continuing to keep it off, is because I realised:

·        My weight had nothing to do with the food I put in my mouth, it was about the voices in my head, and not thinking about why I am eating. This is the most important thing.

·        “Being on a diet” always works, in the short term. But never in the long term. So, I slowly put together my plan where no food is forbidden. I can eat whatever I want when I want. But I must manage and balance what I eat and the exercise I do.

·        Your plan is not my plan. Over the years people have kindly recommended different plans, diets, and systems. Some of these I have tried. One friend gave a 3-day diet and for a few months I did this every couple of weeks, it just steered me back if I was wandering off course. Another friend suggested a 9-day plan, which you were supposed to do every few months. For about 6 months I did it once a month, again, in the early days when I was losing my way this got me back on course. None of these systems have stayed part of my plan, but they have helped me fine tune my plan.

• Only you can find a plan that will work for you. I support, and work with, people to devise their plan. They decide when their plan is now working for them and will continue to work for them in the long term.

So being morbidly obese was awful. Now I can do things I could not do before[1], wear things I couldn’t wear and eat things without guilt. It’s wonderful, and exciting and makes me very, very happy.

If you would like more information about my weight loss story, go to: www.glenyschatterley.com

In the meantime try this: interlace your fingers. Nice and snug. Easy? I couldn’t do that!