Making Movember Personal

I’m about to make my Movember your Movember. It may already be personal - you may know someone, maybe even someone close, that has their own story. Here’s ours.

On Thursday 31st October this year I spoke at #UXNZ. This was also the day my husband (Gav) was undergoing a PSMA scan to determine whether he had prostate cancer or not. I tried hard to pull out but Gav was adamant that this wicked illness wasn’t going to interfere with our lives. He also said he shouldn’t be the only one feeling scared! A lesson in how to not be scared when speaking at a conference – not a recommended one.

The next day was Friday the 1st of November, the first day of Movember and the day we got the results: yes it was prostate cancer but thankfully almost completely contained. Talk about adding meaning to a worthy cause.

The journey to get to this point is long but the time frame means we had enough time to get our heads, hearts and minds around it before we had to start sharing. Here’s some things we’ve learned on the way:

• A lens can change in an instant. The day before the doctor called to let Gav know his PSA was high we were racing eachother to lose weight, Gav was winning. We were also counting down the days before we travelled at Christmas. A five-minute call and suddenly weight loss was something to worry about as a sign of cancer and Christmas was far too close!
• Just ask “are you OK?”.  If someone shares some big hairy news with you the best thing you can do is ask the simple question, “are you OK?”. That’s all. Don’t overthink it, keep it simple. My boss asked me that question most days and that was all I needed. Mostly the answer is yes, and that’s also OK.
• Try not to cross the bridge before you get to it. A strong, awesome woman shared this with us and it became a discipline. It’s far too easy to over-research, to try and rush over a bridge before you need to, or before you’re fully equipped to. Thank you for that advice.

And here’s two actions for you:

1. If you have a loved one, father, son or husband hitting their late 40’s MAKE them get their PSA blood test done and continue getting it tested. It’s just a blood test, no rubber gloves yet! It has saved Gav’s life.
2. Donate to MOVEMBER. You don’t need to donate to Gav, find someone you know and donate. If you want to donate to Gav here’s his page: https://mobro.co/13627155?mc=1

We are lucky. Gav had his prostate out on Monday, completing an ugly journey within the month of Movember. It wasn’t really a goal, but he has always been an overachiever! He’s going to be fine.

Finally, we are surrounded by the most incredible family and friends, we are thankful. And I work for an amazing place, that understands that life doesn’t always go to plan. Thank you Davanti. 

The final words come from a whiteboard somewhere on the other side of the world, I’ve used this in countless presentations and it’s so true; ‘Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.’