Lumon Industries

We sincerely hope our renowned Lumon Management Program has contributed greatly to the efficiency and demeanor of your constituents. For the final installation, we invite you to revel in our Comprehensive Sanity Measures, which catalogs the rigid standards of positivity we employ internally to ensure peak enterprise success. Learn more about Severance today: LumonIndustries.net

Life contains many incertitudes, but one thing remains constant: another week at work. May such a truth bring you nothing but bliss and may that merriment carry you through each 8 hour increment with uplifted vigor.

Certain sonic compositions are found to increase productivity in work environments. Here's Lumon's bespoke work-day musical companion: apple.co/MTRT

Cheers, cherished workers, to a weekend of whimsy well spent and a glorious week of work ahead. May its restoration fortify you, and may each task be met with merriment and verve.

Reflection is the cornerstone of any cogent leader. Each quarter, our managerial squad undergoes thorough, peer-contributed performance reviews to ensure proper levels of onus. Self-improvement is not merely a suggestion, but a requirement when one assumes a position of power within our organization. Team success is intrinsically tied to individual grit and Kier rewards only those with the impetus to receive critique and course correct immediately from it. Remember: "Let not weakness live in your veins."

While Mondays are canonically dreary, we hope this motivational sentiment brings you the comfort you need for corporate fulfillment this week.

As many may erupt in material and interpersonal displays of affection, Lumon serves to you a carte of welcomed acts of good will upon our severed floor. May you hold close the work that fills your heart's chambers with fondness and adulation.

Due to the overwhelming response to the last publication of our Lumon Management Program excerpt, we've decided to release another crucial teaching from LUMP. We sincerely hope this information emboldens exemplary performance within your cohort. Learn more about Severance today: LumonIndustries.net

One of the most venerated Lumon branches is nestled in the township of Kier. We’re especially honored to be named one of the finest attractions of such a consequential locality by their tourism bureau. If you're ever in our neck of the woods, we encourage you to relish in discovery, stay awhile.

It is with utmost concern that we acknowledge an incomplete and misleading version of this book has surfaced on Apple Books. It is strongly ill-advised to read or listen to this material. The true version of The You You Are, in collaboration with Lumon Industries, is in development.