Zoom Dysmorphia: Finding Confidence and Clarity in Virtual Spaces

The other day during a podcast recording, I was joking with my friend Steve Dotto about how I wished I looked as good in real life as I did on Zoom. I laughingly called it "Zoom Dysmorphia" and thought I had coined a new term.

Turns out I did not! Much like body dysmorphia, Zoom dysmorphia is a real thing. Although not quite like I meant it.

According to ChatGPT (and confirmed in a Google search) "Body dysmorphia, or body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), is a mental health condition where a person has an obsessive focus on perceived flaws or defects in their appearance, which are often unnoticeable to others. This can lead to distress, low self-esteem, and behaviors like excessive grooming, mirror checking, or avoiding social situations."

Zoom dysmorphia, similarly, is triggered or exacerbated by frequent exposure to one's appearance on video conferencing platforms like Zoom, Teams, Google Meet, etc. Seeing oneself on camera for extended periods can lead to heightened self-scrutiny and dissatisfaction with physical features, often based on distorted perceptions influenced by camera angles, lighting, or the unnatural focus on one's own image.

And for women over 50 stepping into entrepreneurship, it can feel like an additional hurdle in an already challenging journey. Even me! Catching myself in the mirror, I often step back with a "Who the heck is that slightly overweight, age-spotted woman with neck wrinkles?"

And so it begins. The ridiculous comparison of ourselves - not to others - but to our Zoom persona.

Why This Matters Now More Than Ever

The digital world has become our primary stage for business connections. As women building legacy businesses, we're not just sharing our expertise - we're visible in ways we never were before. Every video call becomes a mirror, and that mirror isn't always kind.

Consider these statistics:

• 71% of women over 50 report increased anxiety about their appearance on video calls
• The use of video conferencing has increased by 400% since 2019
• Studies show that webcams can distort facial features by up to 30%

Beyond the Filter

Now, if you do find yourself behind the camera a lot, and you are uncomfortable with it, here are some ideas (other than a million Instagram filters) that can get you more comfortable with your appearance - while still looking like YOU!

Reframe Your Focus:

• Set your video display to speaker view
• Position your camera at eye level
• Remember: your audience is more interested in your message than your appearance

Create Your Power Setup

• Invest in good lighting (natural light is best)
• Find your best camera angle
• Set up a professional but comfortable background

Practice Self-Compassion

• Replace critical self-talk with encouraging words
• Focus on the value you're providing
• Celebrate your expertise rather than scrutinizing your appearance

The Other Side of Zoom Dysmorphia

There's an ironic twist to our virtual world that we need to talk about. While many of us struggle with our appearance on video calls, there's another phenomenon emerging: becoming too attached to our Zoom personas.

After years and years of Zoom and other online meetings, and not so many face to face events, I found I really was affected by how I looked from the shoulders up. Nicely smoothed thanks to good lighting and the lightest application of "Touch up my appearance". In many ways, we've created a perfectly curated version of ourselves.

But here's the challenge: what happens when we step away from the screen?

This is the other side of Zoom dysmorphia - when our enhanced digital presence creates unrealistic expectations for our everyday appearance. It's like living in two worlds: our filtered online self and our natural offline self.

Breaking Free: Practical Steps for Real Change

So what are we supposed to do? As an introvert, I find myself actually "hiding" behind virtual events. And that's just not healthy.

Breaking Free from the Digital Perfect

Here are some strategies to maintain a healthy relationship with both versions of yourself:

Practice Digital Detox

• Take regular breaks from video platforms
• Occasionally turn off all beautification filters
• Use mirror-time for self-appreciation rather than criticism

Embrace Reality

• Take daily photos without filters
• Spend time networking in person
• Remember that authentic connections happen when we're real

Build Inner Confidence

• Focus on your achievements and impact
• Celebrate your wisdom and experience
• Remember that your value isn't tied to your appearance

As I was writing this article I realized I needed to do the same thing. Yesterday I shot a video and posted it on LinkedIn - without any filters, makeup (or even clean hair!). It was painful but I did it. And guess what? No one said anything and I didn't die.

I also made myself sign up for several F2F networking events in town. I attended one on Friday and, again, I didn't die! In fact, several women complemented me on my sparkly pants! (Thanks Minette Riordan and Darla LeDoux !)

Turns out I just have to get over myself and get going!

PS - If you are looking for an awesome group of women to hang out and grow with, check out The Dames, an amazing professional women's group started by Meghann Conter !

Your Next Step

If you're ready to move beyond appearance anxiety and focus on building your legacy business, I invite you to join me for a FREE 35-minute session (I only have 4 left for this quarter). Together, we'll explore how to show up authentically and powerfully in both virtual and real-world spaces.

Connect With Me

Let's continue this conversation! Connect with me on LinkedIn, where I regularly share tips about confident virtual communication and building your legacy business.

P.S. - Don't miss our upcoming Grey Matters podcast sponsored by DottoTech, where we'll dive deeper into topics like this and share more success stories from women just like you.

And let me know in comments below ????, have you experienced (either type) of Zoom Dysmorphia? What did you do?