Zombie Apocalypse
Anxiety Apocalypse – I had a dream, the other night, that zombie was a metaphor for anxiety or even apathy, and infecting others sucked their hopes and dreams out, leaving a void that may never be filled. Maybe like the Dementors of Azkaban from Harry Potter.
"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself... soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life." Remus Lupin
As we start this new decade, are you interested in making a change? Helping overcome apathy and life’s anxieties? In Discovering the ‘how to’ rather than ‘why can’t’? Then please read on.
Two parts to this article
- Problem
- Solution
1. Problem – Problem of perception
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it.” - Marcus Aurelius
My career as an engineer started from apprenticeship, through design and project management to Operations Director. At each stage in the journey, people always bought me problems and it was my job to find solutions. Now as a Coach (human engineer), the role is similar in that everyone I work with is problem focused; the key difference is that I no longer need to design/manufacture a solution, but rather my role is to help them discover the solution once they have identified the purpose/value of that solution. There are stages to this, and tools to help, but I will leave that until later in this article.
Back to the Zombies
The Zombie story has been retold over the years from Night of the living Dead in 1968 through Lifeforce in 1985 to Worldwar Z and Zombieland early 2000’s. Most recently, I even enjoyed Zomboat where a Zombie apocalypse is unleashed in Birmingham and they flee for their lives on a Canal Boat, as Zombies don’t like water LOL. Have you seen the movie ‘Cell’ where a mobile phone signal turns everyone who hears it into zombies; my wife said that what my smartphone does…
You can enjoy zombie movies, or not, for whatever reasons you choose but I must admit I do like the idea of overcome the adversity and anxiety that seems to be growing as people seem to be losing personal resilience. This sense of ‘loss of control’ seems to be fed by social media and news channels; this unfortunately builds confirmation bias, which leads people to look for more evidence supporting their new belief. On the news today (02/02/2020) the BBC were reporting an increase in admissions for eating disorders and that doctors get virtually no training. Yet no discussions on what may be causing it or what actions are being taken to help. This one sided reporting supports the biased message.
Here are just three of the labels currently being applied to people:
Snowflakes
Collins English Dictionary defines the term "snowflake" as "the young adults of the 2010s, viewed as being less resilient and more prone to taking offence than previous generations. They are overly emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions.
Imposter Syndrome
Suffer have chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings or evidence of success, or external proof of their competence.
When I work with clients who label themselves with this, I often start by reframe it with the question “so you really care about people and it’s important to you to be the best you can be?”
FOMO
Fear of missing out (FOMO) is described as "a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which they are absent". This social anxiety is characterised by "a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing". It has grown in line with the growth of social media.
I love the flipside of this, JOMO (joy of missing out), where people enjoy what they’re doing in the here and now.
2. Solution – awareness that a problem is a point of perception or a comparative deletion (NLP Meta-Model)
“For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning.
New Year resolutions – resolve to change.
A New Year’s resolution is a tradition in which people resolves to change an undesired trait or behaviour, to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life; how many have been set over the years? How many have been actioned?
I have come to believe there is a saying for everything and my one for this is “people never change until they run out of excuses to stay the same”. Maybe what would help is to have someone hold you to the commitment you made, a coach. Please look at the Ulysses Contract for some helpful ideas.
“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Coaching Zombies – Bringing in the change
The best coaching involves equal attention to the “outer game” of a person’s goals, lived experiences, and practical choices; as well as to what Tim Gallwey (2000) calls the “inner game” of a person’s state of consciousness.
Coaching does not presuppose people are broken but it does presuppose they have all the resources (skills and abilities) they need and that the coach's role is to help that person to overcome internal resistances and limiting beliefs.
Through the correct use of structured coaching questions, the client’s choices start to open up so they can get out of their own way. For example, if they say, “I can’t do that” you can open with “what stops you?” or “if you could where would you start?”
These questions are designed to get the client to uncover the limits of their belief. They can be used in coaching tools such as SMART, GROW, SCORE and Wheel of Life as they give a tried and tested framework to build from. A good coach brings out the best in a client and overcomes the ‘Zombie state of mind’. Plus a good coach leaves their client with the tools to continue building on their personal resilience.
I have put together a top ten tips for coaching as everyone loves a top ten. Plus, if you’d like a FREE coaching toolkit ebook, please contact me.
Additional articles and resources
If you found these ideas interesting, you can contact me directly to discuss coaching and training on 0121 251 6172 or message me. Website www.balancedapproach.co.uk
Below are some additional articles you may also like.
Weeds of the mind is an article I wrote on Linkedin. It discusses that the thoughts and beliefs you feed are the ones that grow.
Emotional Hostage is a four-part article on Linkedin. Before you ask, the concepts predate emotional intelligence and are clearly the roots of that work. The articles discuss what it is, how it is formed, and a recipe for success to overcome it.
Mindfulness misunderstood was written out of frustration at the misunderstanding and poor use of mindfulness. Many are just running relaxation classes, which is the equivalent of a mental pause button; very nice but rarely lasting…. Relaxation is a bi-product of being mindful and the real aim is to build person resilience and flexibility.
Images by TheDigitalArtist on Pixabay