Ziggyomics

There are many worrying questions around economics these days. How can we fight inflation without prompting a recession? Does free trade really help global markets? Would the world benefit from a more socially minded form of capitalism?

To answer these weighty questions requires a knowledge of economics well beyond the grasp of most people. To fill the knowledge gap, my dog Ziggy—part Border Collie, considered the world’s smartest breed—will attempt to explain economics in simple terms.

Scarcity. What happens when my mother Joanne goes away for a few days, and I am stuck depending on my father to feed me.

Risk-averse. When there is a thunderstorm and I sleep in the tub for the night.

Crowding out. When our friend Brigid comes to our yard with a few hotdog treats. And I take the first treat, and then jump over Ozzie to grab the second before he can get it.

Law of diminishing returns. When I go to Owl’s Head Park to chase squirrels, but the faster I run and the louder I bark, the fewer I find.

The Big Mac Index. A tool devised by the Economist to measure purchasing power parity based on the price of a Big Mac, a yummy treat that my father gave me to eat the other day, when we both snuck to McDonalds without telling Joanne. ?

Animal spirits. What drives not just me, but also businesses and consumers on the authority of John Maynard Keynes, a raving socialist according to my uncle Joey. ???

Multiplier effect. When I bark to go outside in the backyard, then my brother Ozzie starts to bark, then I bark louder. Then Ozzie jumps on my back. Then my mother screams I hate you dogs.

Circular economy. When I poop in the park, and then think about eating it.

Communism. The system of government for me and Ozzie. We are regularly fed and cared for—but dragged around on leashes.

Deregulation. When my father takes me to the dog beach in Key West and removes my leash so I can hunt for lizards in the bushes and roll in the stinky seaweed.

Risk-free return. When I jump on the dining room table to grab a piece of chicken when no one is watching and hide in the backyard to eat it.

Sanctions. When I try to grab another piece of chicken, but Joanne sees me, drags me by the collar into the bedroom, and locks the door.