Zambia @60

Well, here we are. Zambia at 60. What a journey, huh? Sixty years of "independence," sixty years of "freedom," and sixty years of watching our leaders play musical chairs in a game where no one ever actually wins—but everyone gets a seat. Somehow.

Let’s look back at what we've accomplished, shall we? Oh, wait, before I start, let’s pour one out for all the potholes that have survived these six decades—true national monuments, still standing (or rather, sinking) while our infrastructure budgets disappear faster than you can say "tender corruption".

Okay, back to the achievements. We’ve mastered the art of electioneering, turning democracy into an elaborate circus act where promises are as hollow as the potholes, and every five years, we get front-row seats to the greatest show on Earth: “The Hope and Disillusionment Tour.” Coming soon to a polling station near you!

And let’s not forget our economic achievements—we’ve perfected the balancing act of staying broke while looking fabulous. Oh yes, Zambia, we’ve got foreign investors queuing up to take everything we own while we get fancy reports saying we’re making "significant progress" towards economic growth. "Look at the GDP!" they say, while the people in the villages ask, "What is GDP? Can we eat it?"

Health? Education? Let’s be honest. We’ve created the perfect survival-of-the-fittest system. Who needs universal healthcare or quality education when you’ve got faith and resilience? Your kid doesn't have a textbook? Teach them how to hustle. You can't afford the hospital bill? Well, there’s always the church—and maybe a herbalist if you're lucky (Lorde, 1984).

But wait! Don’t be discouraged! We’ve still got one thing going for us: national unity. Oh yes, we all stand together—Zambians from all walks of life—when it’s time to celebrate a football victory or clap for the president at the next independence ceremony. Because, you know, nothing says "unity" like ignoring our problems for a few hours of blissful nationalistic delusion.

As for governance, well, we’ve turned corruption into a fine art form. Honestly, why fix things when you can just cut deals under the table and blame imperialism for all your problems? Besides, it's tradition now—some might even say part of our cultural heritage. After all, who are we to disrupt decades of finely-tuned kleptocracy? We’ve gone from colonial exploitation to home-grown exploitation—support local, right?

So, what’s next for Zambia at 60?

Good question. Because if we keep going at this pace, by the time we hit 100, we might not even recognize ourselves. Or worse, we might be the world’s largest importer of foreign consultants who will spend their time telling us how to fix problems we already know how to fix. For a fee, of course.

But fear not! I come with some humble recommendations for our beloved leaders, just in case they stumble across this epilogue while searching for a new loan agreement or international aid package:

Diversify the Economy. Yes, we’ve heard this one before, but maybe this time try actually doing it? Stop putting all your eggs in the copper basket, because, surprise! The world is moving on, and no one cares about our minerals when we can’t even process them ourselves. Or maybe, everyone cares a little too much than we think.

Fix Education. Kids don’t need more motivational speeches about how they are the "future leaders." Give them textbooks and teachers. That might be a good place to start. Maybe throw in some life skills, too.

Health for All. We get it, corruption is tempting, but maybe just try for one year—one whole year—of allocating funds to the health sector and not misplacing them, like the 61 containers full of medical supplies, whose drivers couldn't find their way to the medical stores. People deserve more than just prayers when they’re sick.

Create Jobs that Aren't Campaign Promises. I know, I know, handing out 1 million jobs every election cycle sounds cool, but how about creating real jobs this time? You know, ones where people get paid, instead of waiting for government posts.

Mental Decolonization. Independence is more than flag-waving and speeches. Can we start thinking for ourselves? Let’s stop letting others dictate our policies, our economics, and our identities. It’s about time we found our voice—and used it for something other than begging.

Democracy 101: Accountability Edition. Maybe it’s time our leaders started doing the things they promised during election campaigns. Just a wild thought. You know, governing for the people, instead of for their wallets.

Let Potholes Rest in Peace. Please, for the love of all things good, just fix the roads. It’s been 60 years. Enough is enough. Even the potholes are tired.

Zambia, you’ve made it this far. But the road ahead is still long and winding—probably because the actual road is full of holes. But with a little less corruption, a little more competence, and maybe a miracle or two, you just might make it to 100. Until then, happy 60th, Mother Zambia. The journey continues… as always.

End

Resources:

Lorde, A. (1984). Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. Crossing Press.

Chipungu, S. N., et al. (1992). The Making of Zambia: From Colony to Nation. Longman.

Phiri, B. J. (2006). A Political History of Zambia: From Colonial Rule to the Third Republic, 1890-2001. Africa World Press.