You've Had The Power All Along. You Just Had To Learn It For Yourself.

Everyone is familiar with, The Wizard of Oz. Recently I was presenting to a large professional medical group and shared with them that I didn't think the famous last line, "There's no place like home!" was the most impactful one in the movie. Rather, I believe when Glenda reveals to Dorothy that she can get herself back to Kansas, Dorothy questions, "Why didn't you tell me that before?!" Glenda replies, "Because you wouldn't have believed me. You've had the power all along. You had to learn it for yourself."

This simple lesson learned years ago across the rainbow is so relevant today. Here's why:

So often I work with clients who have no idea that they have the power to get themselves to Kansas or anywhere else. I listen to help them unravel and understand where they surrendered their personal power. Two themes usually emerge. People get confused and begin to believe that their self-worth is tied to their job. When they are unhappy in their professional lives, many decide they are powerless to make a change. I've watched people cry as they share that they are deeply unhappy in a role they have spent years of their lives in, and are marking time to retirement. Most cite years to go to be freed. They truly can see no way out.

The other theme that eventually emerges is an internalization of a belief that may go all the way back to childhood that is erroneous. A deep seated belief that there is something wrong, or bad about them if they find themselves in a negative work environment. How often I repeat to my clients the lesson I learned sometimes painfully for myself. You are not your job!

I remember so well a major event in my childhood that had the potential of seeding my belief system in a negative way that could very well have influenced me forever. To share it, I have to take you back to 1969. I began first grade after being taken to JC Penney's for new shoes. I chose penny loafers and watched my mother locate two new pennies to place in the openings. Early after school began I found myself bored at recess sitting with the girls playing jacks and jumping rope. Across the playground, the boys were racing one another to the edge of the blacktop, with the victor returning to race the new challenger. I had a dress on, because that was the requirement for girls. It was a brown and plaid and had two big pockets on the front. I walked over and asked if I could race too. The winner laughed but then agreed, and I beat him and came back to race the next boy. This repeated a few times until I was racing the last boy left. I remember running faster and faster and I found myself unable to stop at the edge of the blacktop. I tumbled into the grass past the edge, tearing my dress pocket and getting my shoes both stuck in the mud. By this point, the playground monitor, an older woman with a hair-bun, approached me with a very disapproving look on her face. She helped me up, and scolded me, saying, "This is NOT how young ladies behave! You are going to hurt yourself and make the boys feel bad!"

I still remember the deep shame that overtook me. I absolutely believed what she had said, and spent the rest of the day worried about telling my parents the awful thing that I had done. I was a latchkey kid, and at the time wasn't too pleased that my mother was the only mother I knew who worked. I rode the bus home, let myself in and changed, hiding the evidence of my terrible crime in my closet. My mother returned home from work, and flew into her evening routine, preparing dinner, and getting things ready for the next day. She noticed I was sullen, and she stopped to ask why. I took her into my room and in humiliation showed her my spoiled shoes and torn dress. What she did next has stayed with me to this day.

All of the regular evening activities came to a halt. She asked me if I knew how easy it was to fix my dress. She then went on to teach me how to do a whip-stitch. After that she easily cleaned the mud off of my new shoes and found two different, shiny pennies and told me everything was fine. I thought that was the end of it, but I was mistaken.

The next morning, my mother told me that I wouldn't be riding the bus to school. Instead, she was going to take me there herself. When we got there I was surprised that she parked the car, and walked with me into the front door and then turned left into Principal Huber's office. He was a wonderful, gentle man, and seemed surprised. She asked to see him and requested to see the playground monitor. I sat in amazement as I watched my mother explain that she expected her daughter to be treated the same as anyone else at the school. That she was concerned about what had happened and how it was communicated to me in a negative way the day before. We received assurances that if I wanted to run foot races instead of play jump rope then that was acceptable. The weight she had lifted off of my shoulders the evening before completely cleared at that point. I realized I had not committed a transgression, but simply found myself in an environment that didn't align with my personality. Which has also happened in my adult life! The most impactful part of my mother's visit? Similar to the message Glenda delivered to Dorothy?

My mother hugged me goodbye and as she was walking out of the door of the office turned around and looked at me, the principal and playground monitor and said, "Have a good day. And if those boys can't keep up with you, that's THEIR problem!"

Now understand I am a total proponent of accountability and stopping to assess situations and decisions that may be negative or incorrect. It is impossible to grow and develop without making some decisions that don't get us down the yellow brick road. My message is simply this. Take the time to go through the process, and do the work that is required to figure out what really is the underlying issue. Never surrender your power to a negative work environment or your baggage. Unpack it! Reclaim your power and build the life that you want. It may be in Kansas. It may be on a purple horse in Emerald City. Just remember that you have the power. You've had it all along.

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