You've Got Options

We all want options. Options to learn, work and earn. You might have heard having money does not make you happy, but it certainly provides you more choices or alternatives. In this article, I will help you learn the skills and mindset to make a significant amount of money, certainly much more money than you would make without these skills. In the final analysis, everyone wants options. The more skills and capabilities you amass, the more alternatives you will have to help and impact those around you. Of course, you will have the option to buy your dream car, home, vacation, and even finance a new business.

The number of options increases as you achieve and amass resources and assets. Assets such as financial independence, good health, and a network of friends and supporters enable you to dramatically increase your options. With significant financial assets you can choose to get off the grid, earn a certificate, bachelors or master’s degree, or learn a new skill. Want an apprenticeship or a competitive internship? A personal network that has your long-term welfare as a priority can help introduce you to those that hold the key to your dreams.

With strength from a healthy body and mind, you can serve your country or a service organization. Have you dreamed of performing well enough to join a musical or theatrical group? Do you possess the means to travel to any destination or stay home from work when you need a break? Want the freedom and independence to take a nap or exercise when you want. Do you have enough resources to build something from scratch? The most successful people I know have options to do almost anything they desire. Getting you on your unique road to financial and life success is the reason I wrote this article.

Who do you know....or do you know anyone with great wisdom or influence that will drop what they’re doing at any moment and pay complete attention to you? If you are paying them for that privilege, then everyone understands it’s just transactional. They don’t really care about what happens to you beyond the money they earn. But when it’s because that person truly wants what’s best for you, it is completely different.

When a person of prominence or great talent is willing to sacrifice their time and energy for you without expectation of payment or return favors, it is a magical thing to behold. Despite her lofty career accomplishments or high net worth, you become the center of her universe. Whatever could benefit her personally is not discussed or even considered. I had one of those experiences and felt “tingly good” all over.?I was so motivated to be the millionaire "next door" who has infinite options but valued my relationships enough to demonstrate it by stopping everything to focus on whomever I wanted to assist. It still is my dream to make others feel that way. For one hour or two, they are the center of my universe.

This article focuses on how to position yourself to have the maximum number of options and assets to enable you to succeed in your career and personal life ambitions. Success in the pursuit of options leads to greater fulfillment of your life goals and the freedom to choose.?Interested?

Let’s get started on your journey to success.

Get comfortable with tradeoffs

I had to learn the following lesson the hard way: Every day we make choices that lead us down one path or another. Doors will close on us and we may need to wait until another opens. We make thousands of choices every week each and each choice has a consequence. Freedom to choose your path is a privilege. When you amass wealth and contacts over time you can tradeoff incremental wealth for free time or relationship building. Options are amassed when we consistently make good choices to be productive financially or strengthen our network.

The better choices and follow-through in our critical relationships, the more "assets" you accumulate over the months and years. Assets can be considered deposits into an metaphorical account. Assets can be a financial or talents/skills that are hard to obtain and the more you amass the larger your account. You want to make sure that you are consistently making deposits into those accounts. They can be small deposits but the more you make the more assets you will be able to draw on.

On the other hand, be judicious about making withdrawals. Withdrawals are easy to make and often more substantial than the deposits. Remember to make as few withdrawals as possible and try not to draw down your bank or relationship accounts too quickly. Save some “chits” for the rainy day that will invariably come.

If you want the freedom to go to work four days a week, fire your boss, find a good friend willing to drop what they are doing to take a day off to chill out to music or binge with you on Netflix, you must have the discipline to built up significant assets and strengthen important relationships each week. The more productive you are each week, the more freedom and options you will possess.

Do you desire the freedom to do whatever you feel like doing? Having the option to choose your next move is ultimate freedom and power. Think of the most powerful people in your life. What is it that makes you impressed or even envious of them? Isn't it their ability to go where they want, when they want? For all of us, life's tradeoffs are analogous to possessing options. Since time and money are finite resources, we all make decisions every minute of every day to accumulate assets or make withdrawals. We can choose to be productive or be a prisoner to our passions and desires.

The more you set out to accomplish in your chosen career or endeavors, the greater likelihood you will have options to live a bountiful existence. On the other hand, being a prisoner to your passions and desires causes you to make significant withdrawals; it gives you less freedom and options. Financially speaking, making too many withdrawals causes you to ". live on the margin". Living on the margin diminishes your options.

Most people live on the margin

Living on the margin is a dismal state of being because you lose all financial and relationship freedom. It is an existence without assets. Every unexpected turn or disappointment is a disaster when your life is on the margin. This kind of life forces you to conform to the demands of creditors, employers, or even your friends and family that provide you those essential resources. If you don’t show those friends or family the gratitude and deference they expect, they will cut you off. Living on the margin is indentured servitude. It is misery to live like that. You will not be free or have the option to drop what you are doing and come to the aid of your child or loved one when and where they need you. Being a better father requires you to have the emotional intelligence and financial assets to deploy in the aid of your children. Moving from living on the margin--where you are going from one disaster or urgent problem to another, is more than problematic, it is the opposite of peace and contentment. However, having resources and physical wherewithal to respond when a loved one needs you will define your family relationships over time.

An integral part of building a bountiful life is sacrifice. Sacrifice requires you to do hard things now for more options in the future. Sacrifice involves hard work so going through the motions is not enough. Without your full engagement in worthy pursuits at work and with your network, the educational sacrifices will not yield the results you hope for. You must engage in your work and interactions with you’re your network. You can’t fake this and succeed so a willing heart and mind are the minimum ante. Counterfeit efforts will be discovered over time. True option building takes authenticity, sacrifice and moral character.

Any self-help book that claims you can succeed and have options without working hard is deceiving you. The path to financial independence and career success is not a straight line up either. Be prepared for big peaks and disappointments. Through it all you will need to maintain the essential energy resource that will sustain you in the depths of life’s valleys. My list of essential resources are the same as anyone else’s--food, shelter, a rainy-day fund, and emotional support from someone who truly cares about your long-term welfare. I could not have earned my PhD and become a successful dean without my support from my wife Annie, my family, my professional network, good health, and daily inspiration and motivation to increase options. These are my most precious assets and the main energy source I draw on to diligently work and succeed.

The more people supporting your life’s ambitions, the more options you will have. Options are not just about earning money. It’s about amassing the goodwill and even favors from those in your network who can provide connections and even financing to obtaining your long-term personal and professional freedom. Even entrepreneurs, tradespeople, or executives with million-dollar annual incomes do not have freedom or options to do whatever they want, whenever they want. That must sound crazy to you since you admire them on Instagram or TV, right? Just ask high powered attorneys or management consultants about their lifestyle. They are expected to bill 1700 hours annually to earn $300,000+ annually. The top ones may earn $200 per hour, but in order to maintain their lifestyle, they do not usually have the option to choose to turn away good clients. Those “golden-handcuffs” trade-off high levels of financial remuneration for the freedom to do whatever they want or pursue other passions they might otherwise succeed at like running in the Boston Marathon or climbing Denali. ?

Picture yourself a success

No matter what career path you find yourself headed toward, you can make decisions to inhibit or enhance your options. This article should help you plan and increase those options. Don’t leave the management of your life choices to your boss, parents, boyfriend, spouse, or even a financial advisor. While financial independence is likely your goal, it will take more than money to accumulate your best options. I started early toward financial independence by maintaining a $2000 rainy day fund. A few years later I accumulated a $35,000 of investment capital. I was able to do more of what I wanted and help more people because I had discipline. We all must start somewhere, and I was determined to work smart to improve my situation.

Rather than going into debt to acquire assets before I could afford them, I made a dream poster that helped me visualize real estate holdings, and even philanthropic dreams. I recommend placing this poster in a place where you can’t help but see it every day—such as your bathroom mirror.?I can tell you that this poster and positive affirmations are a powerful change agent for one’s psyche. I vowed to never lose my desire to get things done. All of us have motivators or milestones that are a strong signal you are making progress or becoming successful. My son-in-law Tyson had big dreams to pay cash for a new Mercedes automobile, and a desire to own a speed boat and an airplane. Tyson imagined his options exponentially increasing if he could buy that plane and hire a private pilot. Was this an audacious goal for someone only 25 years old, but using advice from this article he achieved those dreams. He fought his doubts and fears and kept going towards these goals every day of the week until he was literally flying.

Tyson Mathews was an example of perseverance

What Tyson learned as an 18-year-old Marine recruit in boot camp is that even without much money, you have at least two options. Options that were part of his boot camp experience included:

1. Quitting
2. keep trying and earn a commission.

Everyone starts somewhere, and Tyson started at the bottom rung in the world’s eyes. But every day Tyson committed to not quit, and as a result he built a stronger foundation for future options. Many of his Marine bunk mates could not hack the physical and mental beating he took in boot camp and Camp Pendleton. He saw them walk out the door and never come back. That experience made a big impression on his young mind because even the option to quit on your terms or give up was a privilege.?

The one option he was most grateful for was the option of staying focused and not quitting because it allowed him to better understand the gift of free will. Tyson thought about quitting every week in but resolved to stick with his commitment to graduate and earn a commission with the Marine Corps. After graduation from boot camp, a light blub went off. He realized the more he could accomplish, the more freedom he would enjoy. Despite the rules and pressure of boot camp, quitting closed the door to more freedom. Staying focused and committed did not really restrict him. It gave him more freedom. He earned the privilege of more freedom and opportunity by focusing on earning a commission. From graduation day forward, being productive was his daily charge.

But how do you deal with negative events you have no direct control over? “I have learned that positive thinking only goes so far. You must exercise faith in yourself and your ability to amass more options.” When you lose your job, or experience a health setback, the more assets you possess the less possibility these negative events will wreck your year. Without acquiring more assets, you will immediately feel the “weight” of your losses and experience negative sanctions from those who have power over you. One good example practically everyone can relate to is one’s credit rating. Poor credit leads to less desirable options and an existence living on the margin. You will have very few if any options and less and less freedom when you fail to meet your financial obligations or fail the key supporters in your network.

“My network building goal began my first day at boot camp as a Marine recruit. Most people don’t believe you meet anyone of consequence or influence in boot camp, but I dispute that belief and learned profound lessons and built friendships that paid long-term dividends.?When I was working in retail there was no way to save much making $11 per hour. But I refused to give in to my desire for immediate gratification, knowing my inability to pay for luxury cars or private planes would lead to a poor credit rating”.?A poor rating is a result of your choices to not satisfy your financial commitments to a bank or lending agency for your car, home, apartment, or student loan. It’s understandable to want and even “need” real assets, but prematurely going into debt for depreciating assets leads to fewer options and financial heartbreak.

Building your network assets

“I connect well with most people, so I started at 21 years old building my personal network. One benefit of my retail experience was developing a keen sense of what could satisfy or delight the customer. ?Learning what really makes the difference between meeting a client’s need and delighting them changed my perspective and focus. goal of delighting my store manager or calming the anger and rage from a dissatisfied customer. I imagined it was like a video game with levels. I had to move up gradually to achieve the highest level, so I needed to engage with the most difficult problems and customers before experiencing the rewards from the highest levels. From this experience, I developed a willingness to take on the ugliest problems and learn from those experiences.?Although your temper can get best of anyone in an awkward situation, I developed humility to get the facts and evidence right before accusing someone or assigning blame”. My son-in-law became so productive and indispensable using these tactics; he was asked by the regional director to join the store manager training program. A few months later, he was 19 years old and on the top team responsible for successfully opening new stores.

The more Tyson was willing to take on more and more difficult tasks and customers, the more responsibility he was given. “At 22 years old, I was offered a store manager position”. He became the youngest store manager in County Market history. Why? Like a faithful Marine, he jumped into the “breech” rather than flee from big “hairy” problems or disgruntled customers. Although he often struggled and faltered because those much older than me resented being supervised by someone half their age, he did not get discouraged. Discouragement lead others to lose faith in themselves and those around them. Tyson was sure of a better future and have faith in himself to keep building up his skills.

“My early 20’s was spent committing myself to achievement of my intermediate goals. I never lost faith my long-term goal of financial independence and prosperity. I enrolled in university business studies and continued reading in earnest, with the goal of earning my bachelor’s degree in business administration. After one bad incident when I was 24, I committed to not blow up and maintain professional relationships with everyone I meet. When I approach a particularly disgruntled employee, client, or customer, I tell myself over and over that “everyone deserves respect”. My network exponentially grew by not ignoring what others would consider “little people” and being clear with those below and above my what my objectives was and that their careers and goals mattered to me. Eventually, the people others would call, nobodies lead me to the truly influential people that made my dreams come true”.

“Most times we are tempted to not engage or hold back when we think there is nothing to gain from helping someone of little consequence. One example in my life was a meeting dark and distraught man one night. He told me of his dire situation. He literally had no options but to plead with me for help. He asked for charity while I was pumping gas on a road trip. I asked the man to wait a minute while I completed my purchases so I could think about his plight. I always recommend you stop and think about your options when a situation like this occurs. Reach deep inside and trust your heart. If you gain nothing on the surface, imagine God is trying to teach you something or think what you could have learned from that person.

That dark night, I decided to give him all the cash in my wallet. I handed the cash over and of course he was surprised and very grateful for my sacrifice and his newfound fortune. Even though I knew my decision put me into a situation I might regret, this experience has been life changing for me. I turned around this situation where I thought I could be robbed; into a situation I have thought about many times since. T was a pivotal moment for me. I gained the faith and confidence that I could earn enough to replace the money I gave away. No one was videotaping this incident. I did not playback this experience in social media either. That dark night I decided I would make it my purpose to help not only my friends but open to complete strangers. From that point forward Tyson tried to not ignore those around him.

However, reflecting on this experience gave me the confidence to not be average or just get by. Hording what Tyson had earned or taking advantage of others would not be living the abundant life. Like Scrooge in Charles Dicken’s famous novel, Scrooge build a stronger network and had more options in his life when he shared. “It might provide me temporary financial rewards, but ultimately zap my energy source.?I discovered my energy source was accomplishing much in one day so I could help others have options too”.

Tyson could tap his considerable cash source temporarily, but every time you have a consumption mentality you are never quite satisfied, and your mind is busy counting your assets not building them up. “Because I wanted to be generous and charitable, I could choose how people describe me, I would choose generous and charitable or successful. Helping my fellow man is a priority for me so the more financial resources and network connections, the more I can share. I may not be the Good Samaritan, but I was on a better path from that day on. That experience made me want to help my partner, my family members, my colleagues, and my friends live an abundant life too.

Lessons from Les Misérables

Tyson’s story inspired me to write this article. This experience was like the experience of John Valjean in Les Misérables when he was given golden candlesticks after stealing silverware and valuables from the French priest who had charitably put him up for the night. John Valjean truly had no options as a convict but turned those assets into a successful factory employing hundreds of workers. Until the last year of Tyson’s life, he was able to live a life of abundance. It is now my life’s work to share my abundance in the same way. My focus is always to help as many people as I can and be the person who is willing to drop what I am doing when something significant or important happens to someone in my network.

Having supporters made a huge difference when I experienced setbacks, so I was driven to be more successful so I could amass more investment capital and create opportunities for others. Tyson knew from sad experience one of the most difficult things in life was finding that first job or getting back up when you think you have failed. “I committed to answer the call when someone I cared about lost their job or wanted to celebrate an engagement or birth of their first child together. Helping others in meaningful energized me in so many ways I resolved to build and even more robust network”.

Create the reality you desire

Things just don’t happen. We create our future reality. Tyson was homeschooled in his K-12 education. As a matter of fact, Tyson was the kid who had few friends and no formal education. "I barely could read due to my reading disability. By the time I was 12, I realized my ability to read was extremely limited, so I decided to change. Rather than wallow in pity, or complain to everyone about my misfortune, I went to work to improve my reading skills. I could sit idlily by and do nothing about my reading comprehension weakness and I would be justified in the eyes of most people. But I had faith that I could create the life I desired if I worked hard enough and got smarter".

Based on my recommendation Tyson started to read more business books. Early on, he read books written by some of the most successful businesspeople in the world. He learned how they think.?Reading these books gave Tyson more confidence. "Like the heroines and heroes of these biographies, I knew I was capable of being a billionaire one day. I have no doubt I can accomplish that goal if I don’t die in my 30’s. I wrote this book for young people because at 30 years-old, I have a unique understanding of younger people and the obstacles they face to achieving their goals and ambitions”.

As you have read, what really motivates Tyson and myself are options. The fact is that I enjoy making money, is a motivating factor, but it shouldn’t consume you. “As a 28-year-old, I’ve made as much as $120,000 in one month. That’s a good accomplishment, but it didn’t change my life the way in the ways it might have changed others. All that money motivates me to want to work harder and put the assets to work by investing in my latest project or spending the money I earned on things that will help those in my network. Once I feel I’ve obtained enough financial resources, I would love the option of supporting or establishing a not-for-profit enterprise. ?One area of great motivation is helping people live more fulfilling and abundant lives”.

Serving the 3rd world by helping with real-world problems such as dealing with the immense poverty and disease is such a huge challenge that no one person can make a big impact. But that fact doesn’t mean we should not try and invest our assets, network and influence for the good of those living in poverty. “After my 2019 mission trip to Guatemala, I decided I would rather be a multimillionaire and giveaway $1 billion than invest $1 billion dollars in myself and own more personal assts/holdings. I know I’m capable of earning more because I operate differently than others. I can honestly say, I’m one of the only people I know that the only way I can have a bad day is if it was not a productive one. Lack of production or being stuck puts me in a bad mood. Creating a life with more options started with creating a new reality in what others would consider and average and mundane position of assistant manager of a grocery store”.

Productivity drove Tyson Mathews and it can drive you to success

The more productive we are the happier we become. Productivity gives us purpose and an extreme advantage. “I don’t view my obsession on productivity as work. It’s fun for me in the same way someone might enjoy traveling, video games, or extreme sports”. Productivity is living an abundant life. “I love being active and engaged in good causes. ?An active and busy week is an enjoyable week. I’ve never really enjoyed taking a vacation, but I realize it is part of an abundant life. I want to share my time and assets with my love ones and network, so I am now scheduling holidays more frequently. But I keep my vacations short. I my holiday lasts for more than a few days I feel like I wasted the opportunity to progress or gain new knowledge. Because of my strong drive to be productive, I want to learn as many new things as I can every day. But more than just learning things, I want to use that knowledge to be more efficient, effective, and productive. Productivity is what drives me. Productivity translates into results. And results give me options. Creating the reality of an abundant and successful life depends on your willingness to be productive and sacrifice good things today for a better tomorrow”.

Influencing others for good

“Although I believe the ability to influence and persuade others can be learned, there are talented individuals and those that need a lot of coaching and hard work”. Being a good influence on others is something anyone can learn. Many business books focus on “selling skills” to influence people. Although many of these books provide great tips and strategies, they will not compensate for authenticity and honestly.?The power to persuade people of consequence comes from moral fortitude and character, not a memorized script or public speaking skills.

Authenticity in how you communicate and conduct your business transactions will set you apart as a woman of character. “Honesty is one important trait I had to work diligently on because of my strong desire to please my superiors. Although I never deceived others for my personal benefit, I wanted to please others by achieving the results they desired. It was a temptation to embellish success stories or bad situations I turned I around. I learned early on that bad news gets worse the longer you wait to share it, so I committed to telling my family or superiors immediately when something went wrong or the results did not meet expectations. The difference between me and my peers was in sharing that bad news, I came up with some possible remedies or solutions. Those possible solutions turned many bad

situations into opportunities to demonstrate my value and ability to make a difference. When I look for new team members today, I try and get a feel for the candidate’s ability to provide insights and come up with solutions to everyday problems. I ask them how they approach and solve these problems and hire the people I feel will add value and solve our company or client problems”.

Tyson’s background could have been a disadvantage, but he turned it around

Although Tyson was a shy child, he was fascinated by the differences in people’s personalities and orientation to life’s challenges. This fascination motivated him to learn what makes people “tick”. “I found I loved learning about personal motivation, psychology and how people behave and are persuaded to do hard things or sacrifice”.

The psychology around sacrifice was especially interesting. Tyson loved the fable surrounding how the best Arabian horses were selected.?Arabian horses were trained in the Middle East where there were few places to find water and satisfy their thirst.?Finding an Oasis in the desert was the key to survival. The story is that the Arabian trainers would take the Arabian horses to the pond or water source but not release them to drink until they gave a special command. Those horses that we're willing to listen to their masters and wait until they heard the demand or considered the best horses and commanded the highest prices. Another example very close to my heart is our personal relationship with food. I love good food and can’t think of a better way to enjoy time with those I love than sharing a good meal.

Obesity can happen to anyone, but it shouldn’t define you

Most adults in the United States struggle with their weight. This is a challenge Tyson struggled with too. The psychology around keeping a good balance between how much or when we eat or my choices regarding portion size were his daily struggle. Have you ever watched people at a dinner party or buffet with wonderful choices and no financial limit to what they add to their plate. In that scenario, most of us struggle to limit the portion of what we eat and often don’t go with the healthiest choices. Especially, if it is something we truly love. However, we all know the result of overeating rich foods or desserts. Sacrificing or moderating your choices for the long-term benefit of the organization you serve is much the same balancing act. You often must sacrifice a quick benefit of hiding some bad news or stopping what you are expected to be doing that day to fix a difficult problem because problems are tied to relationships-and relationships always matter. It makes sense that someone who doesn’t understand Tyson’s option theory to let problem fester. But Tyson learned for everyone’s long term benefit, to not procrastinate and deal with the problem before it grows even bigger. Sacrifice the immediate reward of accomplishing that days to do list for better relationships. A future with more options.

Tyson developed a keen understanding of people’s psychological makeup so he could sell. In sales it is called the “art of the close”. My skills in raising money developed over the last 15 years by truly listening to people and being authentic in my responses. I cannot afford to ignore what someone is telling me. The reason to not ignore what the buyer wants or deems valuable seems obvious. But buyer’s objections or responses are usually part of a successful sale because it is an iterative process.

It is analogous to a chess game. Just because you have a strategy to get to the king and declare “checkmate”, It doesn't mean your opponent will cooperate. Your opponent has an objective to win too. If you bully your way to checkmate, the opponent will walk away dissatisfied and may never play again. No seller will maintain a successful business without earning many five-star reviews from the buyers. In the case of a buyer, they want a product or service at the best value possible. If they achieved their objective, it's often comes at your personal sacrifice or at minimum a compromise on your part. ?A great “sale” rarely come when the buyer simply says yes without any negotiation.

Tyson said, “just because I want to get to the sale, I can't be impatient or pushy. That is the worst method of sales possible. The only reason many people use this tactic is because it is the easiest and quickest path. Often that salesperson is a bully. He is asking for the sale and is showing his lack of empathy for the buyer’s motivation to achieve a sense of value. This strategy doesn’t work in the long run. I tailor my communication to each individual investor based on what the buyer values”.

?Earlier, we discussed that everyone you meet has a unique psychological makeup. If you are hiring a new teammate, you must assume that most individuals look for the maximum payback for minimal performance. Bully selling is much the same strategy. The best sales approach is often the most difficult path forward. In period one, you must learn about the buyer’s values and attitudes. You should customize your sales approach and address their concerns and objections based on knowledge of their individual characteristics. In the second and third period, you must take the needs and wants of the buyer and mold it into what you are offering. This cannot be faked. This sales approach will lead to many five-star reviews and long-term success but it is never the easiest path. ?