You've got to name it to tame it!

You've got to name it to tame it!?This is a mantra used in psychology and coaching circles.?To understand or diffuse an emotion, you need to try and label it in order to process it.?Stuck emotions can back up in your system and have the potential to sabotage you.

Some people are better at articulating how they feel than others and may need a little help along the way.?This week's newsletter contains?a few useful hacks I have used over the years that can make a world of difference to decoding how you are feeling, or helping someone else to do so.

There is nothing wrong with strong emotions, positive or negative. In fact, even when we are in a 'bad' space there are usually a few positive emotions at play too. This is the human paradox; that we can hold opposite feelings at the same time.

Practical hacks to access emotions

#1 The Feelings Wheel

• Sometimes it can be hard to find the right word/s to describe how you are feeling. You may have a family member who is stuck and can't articulate where they find themselves.
• This is the time to take a look at a Feelings/Emotions Wheel - you will find a selection of them on the internet.?
• Print it out.?
• Take a pen circle any words that feel appropriate for you.?
• Ask yourself why you are feeling this particular emotion.
• This is a great starting point for unlocking stuckness and engaging with your feelings.?
• The other benefit of the Feelings Wheel is that you are likely to circle both positive AND negative feelings.

#2 Rate the feeling out of 10?

• Some people battle to determine how strongly they align with a feeling once they have identified it.
• Now ask them or yourself, "How strong is this feeling from 1 to 10? (10 being the strongest).
• This is a good a barometer to gauge how serious something really is.

#3 Use music

• I listen to stirring music while getting myself ready for the day. Choosing an anthem for the day is pretty much part of my morning ritual.

#4 Walk and talk

• There is nothing like a walk and talk with a friend to untangle the emotional knots in your life.
• You see, motion shifts emotion. They also say motion is lotion.
• If you walk with a caring friend or family member a problem shared is a problem halved.?

Don't cry or suffer alone

Friendship and support are essential to our mental health.?Funny thing is this: when we go through tough times our instinct is actually to shut down, withdraw?and lock ourselves away in our emotional tower, all alone. This tends to magnify what we are going through rather than diffusing or alleviating it.

What we really need to do when the road gets bumpy is to reach out to a friend and ask for help and support. Try it next time you feel alone with your pain.

October is Mental Health Awareness Month.?Look after yourself and watch out for each other.?

There are plenty more ideas and information to support you on your self-leadership journey in my book?Future-proof Yourself. Order your copy below.

"Nikki is inspiring, compelling and has an in-depth knowledge about her subject. She has the ability to hold an audience in the palm of her hand - a rare talent in a world characterised by distraction. Nikki makes each member of the audience feel like she is talking just to them. She is riveting. " - Leon van Nierop,?best-selling author, film critic, freelance journalist, lecturer, broadcaster and producer