You've Done More Than You Think

The boss you've been trying to impress walks in comes over to your desk, and makes you an offer you can't refuse in the form of an assignment. You're excited to get the work, but as they describe their need, you realize you need to figure out if you can actually accomplish the goal.

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Cold sweats. Elevated heartbeat. Hesitation. Stumbling over your words. Flat-out avoiding thinking about the project.

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These are all common responses that people have to challenges in life. In particular, challenges that we are afraid we might not be able to meet. These responses shouldn't bring one shame but rather trigger a sense of honor. They are like an invisible hand pulling back your emotional curtain to reveal to yourself that you care about whatever you are doing.

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Much like anything else that is stressful, the field of law can amplify those responses, particularly if you are a summer associate or young attorney. You know you are intelligent because you got into and through law school, but it feels like you have no idea what to do for nearly every assignment that a partner hands you. (For the normal non-lawyers reading this, for the most part, law school doesn't teach one about the practical aspects of being a lawyer. This lack of real-world teaching results in assignments in the "real world" being markedly different than those from school. There are exceptions to this. Shout out to Lindsay Karas Stencel and her VC Class as well as Paige L. Wilson at the OSU EBLC). So, you ask your boss for clarification. As predictably as the sun rising in the morning, their explanation doesn't help and further boggles your mind. Undeterred, you ask a few additional questions only to add another layer of frosting to your confusion cake. Then the cold sweats and elevated heartbeat start. You hurry back to your desk and hope that a sense of direction will magically emerge from your computer monitor like an opposite, happy version of the girl from The Ring.

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There are endless ways to combat stress in the workplace, and many of them are valuable tools to have in one's belt so that you can use them for specific scenarios. Box breathing can be great for lowering one's heart rate during a "freak out" and getting it back to baseline. The Eisenhower Matrix can be immensely helpful when trying to fight the overwhelm of being unable to discern your most pressing task among a mountain of them. GTD can help you break down seemingly massive projects into small next steps to help you start making progress and moving forward. ( Lindsay Amico is an excellent resource on all of these techniques. Check out https://pictureperfectmind.com/!)

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However, what do you do when you don't think you can accomplish a task? Even when you've finished freaking out, have intuited that it is important and immediate, and broken it down into small steps, the work feels like an unliftable weight. Have no fear! Here is my technique for explicitly dealing with the above scenario of facing a challenge outside of your comfort zone and dealing with the fear and hesitation that comes with it.?

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Before we get there, I want you to think of all the challenges you have overcome. How did you feel when you first "stepped up to the plate" to deal with the challenge? Did you immediately know you could knock the task out of the park? Likely not. Some external factors, such as a deadline or a very demanding boss forced you to face the challenge and begin making progress, rather than you approaching the task ready to take swings at it.

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What about when a slightly-mean or fear-inducing external motivator is not available? Rather than rely on external factors that may not always be available, looking inward is much more sustainable. You will always be there. Because of these reasons, I prefer a much more inward-looking method.

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Undefeated ancient swordsman Miyamoto Musashi knew a bit about overcoming challenges he didn't think he could win. He once bested a foe in a swordfight with an oar he used to row his boat to the battle location. Yes, the other guy got to use a sword. The other guy still lost. In his book, The Book of Five Rings, Musashi said, "Once you see the way the broadly, you will see it in all things." One of the underlying messages of this quote is that once you become good at one thing, you can use the lessons learned to become good at other things. An example is someone who develops discipline in their life to become fit. Later, they use that same discipline to become more responsible with money or timelier at work.

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Musashi’s wise words also apply to stressful situations in the workplace and in life. It will just take a bit of preparation to get there and “see the way.”

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You should find something to write with, something to write on, and block out around 10 minutes.

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1.????Make four columns on the piece of paper with the labels "task," "feelings," "outcome," and "skills."

2.????Think of a time you faced a situation where you were unsure of your ability to complete a task but still finished it. Write that in the task category.

3.????Write down your feelings when you faced the situation you just placed in the "task" category. These can be things like "cold sweats," "nervousness," "negative thoughts," or anything that you viscerally remember feeling when the challenge became evident. Put these in the “feelings” column.

4.????In the "outcome" column, write about how the experience went well. Write about your feelings and the positive impact completing the task had.?

5.????After writing about the positive outcomes, think specifically about the skills you developed while completing these tasks. Write those down in the "skills" column. These skills can be things like: "planning," "clear communication," or "staying positive in the face of a not-so-positive team.”

6.????Repeat steps two through five until you’ve written about three to four tasks.

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Congratulations! You’ve just given yourself your very own Musashi’s oar. A weapon to use in stressful situations. Preserve this document so you can regularly access it in the future. Pull up this document the next time you feel those cold sweats, nervousness, or hesitation. Read through the scenarios you wrote down. You will likely realize you've faced a similar situation and can conquer this one, or you will learn that you've developed skills that make this task much less challenging than your initial impression.?

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Now, here is where things get fun. When you face a new situation, you can update this document with the new skills developed. You are giving yourself an evergreen weapon set to attack any problem.

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This exercise aims to show someone that they are "stronger than they think" and that they have likely already overcome more difficult situations than they think. This tool is handy for young attorneys or people in other roles whose work hands the gift of intimidating projects. Once you see the way with one assignment, you see the way with all assignments.

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Are you ready for a bit of life-framework Inception? Applying “Seeing the way in all things” in a professional setting will allow you to see how the same framework applies in other areas of your life. You can broaden the exercise I outlined above to fixing professional issues, as challenging situations are not limited to the workplace. Scared to approach someone you are interested in? Think about a time when you made quick friends with someone you just met. Is your lease about to end, and you would like to negotiate a lower rent? Think about the time you bartered lunch items with other kids at school. The fun (or horrifying) part about using the chart in your personal life is that it can unlock some memories and get you thinking. I recommend keeping your personal chart separate from the one you use for professional challenges. The last thing you need is the temptation to take a trip down grade-school memory lane while trying to work your way through complex professional issues.

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Hopefully, this tool can help you swallow your fear and face new challenges head-on! What tools do you use to overcome challenges? As always, I love to borrow any valuable tools I can from others, especially those with the mental fortitude to read through my ramblings.