You've ALWAYS got something to offer

I found myself thinking about the saying "Get hit 7 times, stand up 8" and how no matter the number of times we fall down, and start to doubt ourselves; we always, always, still have something to offer!

Maybe this is what we need to remind ourselves to get up, one more time.

It's so easy when life hits us HARD and I'm not talking a small setback, I'm talking when it really knocks the absolute wind out of us leaving us feeling empty, alone and totally shattered. Now if you've never experienced this, I say all power to you and I hope you are ever so grateful that this is the case for you. But for the rest of us, it could be you've lost your home and all your savings, you have no idea where you're next meal is coming from; it could be that you faced the loss of a loved one totally alone and the emptiness and pain was overwhelming; it could be that you have applied, applied and applied for jobs and still nothing; it could be a series of events that took place one on top of another that left you feeling the Universe was conspiring against you ... and you felt worthless, useless, exhausted, praying for the strength just to wake up and face another day of uncertainty.

And yet, you get up again. This is courage!

And it takes a stubborn heart to keep going, despite the odds and despite feeling totally screwed ...

It takes commitment. Commitment to Courage. Commitment to yourself. Commitment to Life!

Now inevitably if you don't have a support system and you find yourself alone facing these situations, you are going to have visitors - uninvited guests known as anxiety, depression and hopelessness. They are going to worm their way into your psyche and they are not willing to take the hint and leave. Willpower will not be enough. But being stubborn, that just might get you through.

I know for me, when I had a series of these events - just as I felt I was taking one step forward, another challenge would knock me and send me flying back seven. It was exhausting and totally demoralising. I remember how totally draining it was to put on a smile, get dressed and simply face people. I would need to sleep for hours after, between sessions of anxiety waking me up and saying "No sleep for you!" But a small voice in the dark recesses of my mind kept telling me that I still had something to offer this world and somehow that thought alone kept me trying and showing up.

I'm still taking those steps and I have no magic answer, just putting some thoughts out there for those that might find them useful. I tend to allow myself, occasionally, to just surrender to the feelings of hopelessness and tell myself it's okay to have that 3 hour nap in the middle of a sunny Saturday when part of my brain is telling me I should be outside, I should be exercising, I should be more productive, I should - I should - I should. Well, my should became "I should take care of myself and what myself needs is to sleep and that's okay - for today". The trick, of course, is not to stay there for days on end.

Now, you will find yourself swaying between stubbornness and surrender, and that's okay too. Whatever gets you through that next step is now my philosophy. And you might make some poor decisions during the process. Eventually you will have to forgive yourself for those indiscretions or be eaten alive by the unwelcome visitors.

If you don't have the money to go and buy a new suit for that interview, try to scrape enough together to go to an Opportunity Shop and you'll be amazed at what you can find. Be grateful that these shops are there for you and remind yourself how lucky that makes you.

If you're just making the rent and don't have money to buy a meal, get creative with what you can buy for little outlay that will fill you up. Rice and a small tin of salmon is now a favourite for me. It's filling, it's cheap and it's surprisingly tasty. And if you can afford a sprinkle of cheese on top, jackpot! ha ha ha And I'm so grateful we now have these options available to us.

If you don't have money to go out and you're watching posts of others enjoying what seems an impossible luxury to you, go for a walk around the river, take photos, sit on the beach and smell the fresh air, wander through the markets looking at the bright colours and tell yourself "one day I will get to stop and enjoy a coffee" but, for today, I am grateful that I can walk here for free.

If you've lost your home, or had to give up your beautiful apartment, and you're living arrangements have changed beyond recognition but you have a roof over your head, a place to hang some clothes and a bed to sleep in - how lucky are you! Forget the past, the images of those previous places will haunt you and drive you deeper into the arms of those feelings of anxiety, depression and hopelessness. Be grateful for what you have and believe in a better tomorrow.

If you've found a job, but it's not ideal and you're feeling frustrated, remember all those applications you have sent out before, all those companies you never heard back from, all those rejections, and be grateful for the job you have. It doesn't mean you have to stay there forever, or you don't stop looking for your dream job. But please be grateful for what you have in this moment.

Above all, remember you ALWAYS have something to offer. Whether it feels important to you or not, you never know how important it may be to another. It could be the smile you give to a person on the tram that was having a bad day and you made them smile despite that; it could be the colleague who needed someone just to listen because they are going through a tough time of their own and you listened; it could be the customer who was frustrated at everything going wrong and you took the time to help them; it could be the dog tied up outside the grocery store shivering in the rain, feeling anxious, and you stopped to give them a pat; it could be so very many things that if we're honest would have made a difference to us in our darkest moments. And it could be getting creative ...

What does this post have to do with business? Well, a business is its people and what I have learned from previous posts on here, and those that have written to me or commented, there are so many people out there facing rejection, hardship, frustration and challenges. Business is life and life can be hard. Just as the business wants to grow, develop, make a profit, become secure and stable, and be the best it can be; so do its people. Some of those people will be going through exactly what I am talking about and their colleagues won't even have a clue. We take people for granted, it's human nature, but what if we stopped every now and again to look around, truly care and truly see?

So my message I guess on this beautiful Easter Saturday is threefold - stay stubborn, in a good way, it will serve you well; be grateful for what you have and forgive yourself for the past; care about others and yourself. Oh, and take the small wins. I found a diary this morning where I had written a "where I'm at" overview from February 2018 and saw I have actually made progress, albeit small it's absolutely a win!

You ALWAYS have something to offer and you matter! Happy Easter everyone.

(c) Dianne Traynor 20 April 2019