Be yourself, everyone else is already taken!

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken!

Happy Friday, in a world of replication and emulation, why not be true to yourself? Well, I cannot answer that for everyone, but there are many reasons why many people feel they must assimilate. Research shows that in the last ten years, the biggest culprit has been social media. The thing about any social platform, television show, or marketing is that it is typically not original. Tons of edits, airbrushing, and augmentation goes into the entire production. I have been cast in shows from Saints and Sinners as a choir member to my latest small part in Joe Handlin’s case of the missing sister. Amongst my experiences, an adjustment from makeup to clothing must align with the director’s vision, not yours. Even if the actor does not wish to make those changes, they are not in charge of the production. In reality, life is a stage set, and we all must play our part. Sure, we all ‘act’ in some way daily, but we must stay true to our roots.

If you are constantly someone you are not, you could experience some form of Imposter Syndrome. According to Merriam-Webster, imposter syndrome, in part, is the persistent doubt concerning one's abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one's ongoing success. The various categories of imposter symptoms are very intriguing. Dr. Valerie Young, who completed extensive research on imposter syndrome, theorized five subgroups:?The Perfectionist, the Superwoman/man, the Natural Genius, the Soloist, and the Expert. To learn more and discover which subclass you possibly fall into, check out Five different types of imposter syndromes. When I read all five, I was sure the first one aligned with some of my attributes, but when I read them all, I resonated with some aspects of each. Which one are you, or are you a combination of all five?

Let’s be honest; being unauthentic is no fun. Being a fraud to oneself can wreak havoc on your mental health and emotional stability. So, when I say be yourself, it is for your benefit. Let’s think about it differently. Have you ever spent some time with an older person, such as a grandparent with no filter? They say and do whatever they want, whenever they want. They are likely acting freely, the opposite of imposter syndrome. Guess what? They are no different from you and me; they just have experienced more mask-wearing and have likely gotten to the point where they no longer have to wear masks. Taking off your mask is like taking off your shoes after a long run or returning home from a vacation; it’s liberating, so keep it real!

I challenge you to be fully authentic more often. Take baby steps if you have assimilated so much that you are not even sure who you are. For example, if you always go along to get along, the next time you are presented with an opportunity to go against the grain, do so but be sure to back it up with an alternative suggestion. Slowly you will regain your confidence and walk more freely in your own shoes. People-pleasing, assimilating, and code-switching are a part of our lives in some capacity, but the goal is never to let those things dominate us.

Lastly, be mindful of your actions; you may have co-workers, family, or friends you admire and directly influence. Would you want them to be someone they are not? As a mother of three, I can tell you I want my children to be poised and professional; however, I would never want them to feel that it is necessary to do things that do not align with their values or be someone they are not. If you do not change for yourself, be better for those you care about.

Take some time this weekend to evaluate the areas you need to bring more authenticity to and work towards being more genuine. I promise you will feel more free and powerful than ever before because we are all the better than that for which we give ourselves credit.

Cheers!?