You're not your Imposter Syndrome

How to metamorphose it from bully to friend

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Imposter Syndrome: a persona in your head

A persona?

I’ve talked about this topic in a previous edition, but here’s the bulk of it: most of us have voices in our heads. Each voice has different worries, priorities, and beliefs and will bombard you with thoughts when triggered.

I call the voices persona. I like to imagine them as a bunch of 5 years old, chilling around a board meeting room and commenting live everything that’s happening. Not all at the same time (though it does happen), but rather on specific occurrences.

A friend with good intentions gone wrong

The personas are here to keep you safe, so they think. So when your imposter syndrome pops in, it’s to keep you safe, it’s friendly.

Your imposter syndrome is rooted in fear. It ain’t factual, it’s emotional.

The logic looks like this: “Here comes a challenge, I don’t know if we’re up for it, we never did it before, there’s a risk, let’s make it go away” — Pushes panic button, starts sabotaging.

Because it believes there is danger, and bases it all on emotions, when you dismiss it, it doesn’t go away, it screams and kicks to eventually take over.

Imagine driving and your passenger friend mentions a danger ahead, but you keep ignoring them. As you get closer, your friend will panic more and more, take the wheel from your hand, and derail the car.

They intended to keep you safe, instead, they sent you both into a tree. Good intentions gone wrong.

The more you dismiss them, the bigger the takeover. You have no choice, you must listen.

Dissociate to listen up

Here’s the trick, our Imposter Syndrome’s thoughts are too uncomfortable. Acknowledging them when we don’t dissociate feels painful because the thoughts seem to be true.

You can listen to your thoughts, and choose not to believe them.

Thinking of imposter syndrome as a separate voice in your head, a persona with a name, helps you treat it like a friend who tends to panic and jump to the wrong conclusions.

“He looked at me weird, he must think I’m stupid” — when the person is actually impressed or just thinking through what you shared

When you separate from the voice, and the thoughts coming from it, you can take a non-emotional step back, look at the information sent, and consider what to keep and what to let go of. You listen to your friend but don’t believe everything they believe.

If you acknowledge the danger your friend sees when you’re driving, and tell them you’ll pass it calmly because you’ve done it before, your friend can relax (and shut up).

Leave room for your imposter syndrome to share the dangers they see, be kind towards the genuinely worried part of you, then move on.

How do you dissociate?

I picture personas like 5 years old. Emotional parts of me, in need of soothing and acknowledgment. Some people picture it as a little monster or gremlin. Create a character for it.

Observe your thoughts as they come. Set an intention to be more aware of the times when you say things like:

• You’re stupid / they know you’re stupid / they’re gonna think you’re stupid
• You’re not good enough / you suck at this / you should be better by now / you’re not qualified
• You got lucky / they must have missed out on your lack of competencies
• You have to prove yourself / you have to impress / do more, do better

Associate these thoughts with that character.

One nudge for you

This journaling exercise helps highlight the difference between your Imposter Syndrome and you.

1. Take a piece of paper and two pens of different colors.
2. Separate the paper vertically into two
3. On the left side of the paper, list everything your imposter syndrome says. Go past the discomfort, and write all the worries, don’t censor it.
4. Deep breathing, and read it all —without judgment
5. Using the other colored pen, rewrite each statement on the right side of the paper in a way that feels more aligned, and let’s be honest less dramatic and emotional.

Example:

You just got lucky -> I worked to get here. It now feels easy because I’ve practiced so much

A reminder for you

Self-confidence is not something you just have. Like many things when it comes to mindset, it’s something you work towards and nurture.

Your imposter syndrome is a good signal. You’re growing, you’re out of your comfort zone, and you’re doing great. Don’t believe everything your mind tells you.

I am working on an ebook to help increase self-confidence. I am excited to make it actionable and useful for you, so please send me any questions, challenges, or misunderstandings you’d like to learn about.

And of course, if you want to work on your self-confidence and don’t want to wait for the ebook, let’s explore coaching.

As always, I appreciate you for reading.

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If you’re new here, welcome! I’m Orianne, I share weekly tools to help you reduce overthinking and boost your self-confidence.

A bit more about me: I am a mindset coach. I coach brilliant humans who perform very well but want to improve their relationship with themselves (their minds). I am a chocolate addict, live by the beach, and always read several books at the same time (currently The 10th Insight by James Redfield, & Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab).

If you enjoyed this newsletter, you can read the previous editions and subscribe here. If you’re ready for coaching you can book an intro call.