If You’re Wrong – Own It Quickly and Emphatically (Tom Brady)

It’s Super Bowl weekend, and I can’t help but think about the legacy of greatness, controversy, and accountability in sports.

Over the years, we’ve seen too many athletes caught red-handed—cheating, breaking the rules, or embroiled in scandals—only to double down on their innocence. Pete Rose, Lance Armstrong, A-Rod, and yes, even Tom Brady, all made the same mistake: not just breaking the rules but lying about it after getting caught.

Of course, this isn’t just an athlete problem. We’ve seen politicians, business leaders, and celebrities do the same thing. The pattern is predictable—deny, deflect, lawyer up, and drag it out for as long as possible. But eventually, the truth comes out, and the cover-up ends up worse than the crime.

Just once, I’d love to see someone step up and say,?“I did it. It was wrong. No excuses. I’ll take my punishment and move forward.”

Because here’s the thing: Nobody cares?why?they did what they did. It’s all just excuses. My old high school football coach used to say,?“Excuses are like a—holes. Everybody has one, and they all stink.”?The only thing people care about is?what happened?and?how you handle it afterward.

Lying after getting caught doesn’t erase the mistake—it amplifies it. That’s why we say,?“The cover-up is worse than the crime.”

I get that a lot is at stake. Careers, reputations, money. But the truth always has a way of surfacing. If the people I mentioned had just taken their medicine when they were caught, odds are they’d be in a much better place today. Look at Tiger Woods—he made massive mistakes, owned them, sought help, and eventually rebuilt his legacy. Contrast that with Pete Rose, Lance Armstrong, or A-Rod, who fought the truth tooth and nail for years, only to be forced to admit what everyone already knew.

Back when "Deflategate" was the big NFL scandal, the debate wasn’t about whether deflating a football gave a real advantage. It was about the rule. And the bottom line is simple—a rule is a rule.

Tom Brady made two mistakes. First, he broke the rule because he thought it would give him an edge. If he didn’t think it mattered, why would he have done it? Second, and more importantly, he lied about it. When the pressure was on, when everything was on the line, we saw his true character. And instead of stepping up, he focused on protecting himself.

In?How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie offers a powerful piece of advice in the section?Be a Leader—something Brady was supposed to be:

“When you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.”

Carnegie’s advice taps into Robert Cialdini’s principle of?authority—one way to gain credibility is to admit mistakes before someone else forces you to. It shows honesty, strength, and integrity. People respect that.

So, as we head into another Super Bowl, I find myself thinking about legacies—not just of quarterbacks or franchises, but of character. Sports fans (and people in general) can forgive mistakes. What they don’t forgive is deception.

I don’t dislike Tom Brady. In fact, I once rooted for the Patriots when they had a shot at an undefeated season because I love witnessing history. But over the years, the Patriots, Brady, and Belichick were at the center of too many controversies. And when there’s smoke, there’s usually fire.

If you start the fire, own it. And then do everything you can to make sure no more sparks fly.

Final thought:?If you’re wrong, grow a pair and own it. And if you already have a pair, make sure they aren’t?deflated.

Originally posted May 2015

Edited by ChatGPT

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Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at?Influence PEOPLE?and a faculty member at the?Cialdini Institute.

An?author,?TEDx speaker, international trainer, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book,?Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by?Book Authority. His follow-up,?Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book,?The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence at home and the office.

Brian’s?LinkedIn courses?on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by more than 650,000 people around the world. His TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!

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