"You're worth investing the time in as well"

"I see people not doing things that will make them happier, because of insecurity, the fear of being judged, or what other people will think of them, or fear of failure, or even the fear of success in some instances. But if people are too consumed by those things and are not doing the things that will actually make them happier…

I'd rather try and fail, than not try at all. When people take that attempt to try something that's when they start feeling alive, it changes people's direction in where they go with life and then wellbeing just kind of fall into place, because they do everything to create that fulfillment."

These are some of the insights that Angie McQuillin, confidence and success coach, has shared with me during our conversation about wellbeing.

When breaking down the vague term of wellbeing, Angie shared what it looks like from her perspective and experience of working as a coach.

"For me, wellbeing means a balance of everything. The balance of looking after yourself, understanding your own values, how you treat yourself and how you treat other people. It is pushing yourself to your full potential of what it is that you're able to do, but most importantly, doing something that you love doing. Something that gets you out of the bed in the morning."

Many people have shared with me that feeling fulfilled and meaningful at work is a significant part of the sense of wellbeing. But, of course, there's a flip-side that we need to be aware of, which concerns pushing beyond your self-care limits when you're highly committed to your work.

"If you become too obsessed with your career, you end up losing balance all the other things that make us who we are. The hobbies, the fun times, the playful side, the connection that we have with other people.

We get so busy with our lives that we often neglect the most important thing which is our health. When you're feeling healthy in your body conditions, when you have the balance, your connections to the world, you got a job that you love doing and you're not spending too many hours doing that – that creates a really well balanced lifestyle and good wellbeing."

In the end, it's a question of prioritizing according to our values, as it comes up from our conversation.

"I spend with clients a lot of time talking about what your values are, and what it actually means live by those values. It becomes the compass of how we live our lives. The challenges that we face around us might become a blockage to our wellbeing, if they affect the decisions that we make.

"Getting the foundations of who you are first, is absolutely critical. Then any influences around us stop having the impact and the effectiveness, that at the moment are approving to have, because we're living the life that we want to live."

When I ask Angie to share about her personal wellbeing practices, she says:

"Keeping fit and healthy has always been very important to me, but running a business by myself, it is very hard to try and manage everything and it does get very busy. If I don't pay attention to that, I'm at risk of working too much. In order to overcome that, I literally have to put blockages into my diary to make sure that I do the things that I need to do."

"I'm also quite musical, so I'd literally say 'This Friday I'm just going to spend all morning playing guitar, that's my release time. It isn't necessarily practice, for me it's almost a form of meditation, to get into the zone. That's what brings me back to balance again, and I know that if I don't order my diary and my business in that particular way, I just won't do it."

"It's quite scary to walk away from the laptop and go do something that doesn't feel like I'm moving forward; but it's the reminder to yourself that you're worth investing the time in as well."

* * *

This article is part of a series that explores wellbeing at life and work. Check out the previous conversations with:

-Jackie Hermes 

-Shelley Brown

If you want to read in more depth about preventing burnout and cultivating wellbeing, check out my book "Burning Out Won't Get You There".