You're Too Near Me, To Hear Me

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The Spanish language is one of the most beautiful languages on the planet. I love to listen to it, even if I only understand 1 out of every 5 words spoken. One of my first learned phrases is, "Vamos a hacer el amor con pasión," that I learned from a Panamanian girl when I was 17 years old. This has absolutely nothing to do with the forthcoming message, but it makes me smile to remember.

The Spanish word that I would like to highlight is escuchar, which translates in English to mean, listen. This word can be interchangeably utilized to mean hear, listen, or listen to depending on the context of the conversation. There is a drastic difference between listening to and hearing, and in the world of leadership, this difference can make or break your success as a leader.

One can listen to an entire conversation without hearing a word of meaning, which could be intentional or a psychologically induced unintentional outcome. There are many variable factors that can be the catalyst of a psychologically induced unintentional outcome with an absence of hearing, but the one that most impacts leaders is the personal connection to the receiver of the message that was intended to hear empirical points.

The closer the personal connection of the sender and receiver of a message, the more likely that hearing the intended message will be impaired or completely obstructed. Why? The answer lies in the perceived, or even preferred state of being of the sender of the message by the recipient of the message. As an example, when a leader and follower have other versions of relationship outside of the real-time current relationship that the leader is utilizing to convey a message, the recipient has other version choices of the sender's personality to choose to visualize while receiving the message. Inversely, if a leader and follower only have one version of their relationship, the recipient is limited to receive the message from the leader in only that context of intention.

Let us break this down in real life. Let us visualize a husband and wife who are in a leader/follower relationship at work. It does not matter who the leader and follower is in this example, only the likelihood that the husband and wife have other relationships which may include lovers, friends, sports enemies, parents, disgruntled employee, or otherwise.

Whenever an important message is delivered by a leader, it is important to first clarify the context of the relationship that the conversation is currently happening in prior to delivering the message. If not, there is a high likelihood that the recipient was listening to the message, but did not hear the message in its intended form. The same message can be given verbatim to another co-worker, who only has one relationship with the leader, and the message is likely to be heard very clearly. A point of frustration can happen for the husband and wife in that someone who is not as close personally, better understands the intended message of the leader.

As we say in the hood, "You're too near me, to hear me." A leader can take two distinct approaches to circumvent the possibility of important messages being listened to, but not heard. The first is to attempt to maintain somewhat of a personal distance from important carriers of messages in an organization. This can cause others to label the leader impersonal, but one can be personal without being a friend. The second option is to deliver important messages to the extended team personally, and ask for clarification from them.

Mark 6:1-3 says, Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. 2?When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.

“Where did this man get these things?” they asked. “What’s this wisdom that has been given him? What are these remarkable miracles he is performing? 3?Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph,[a ] Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him.

In his hometown, they were too near Him, to hear Him.

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