You're Not Thinking Big Enough

How can we break through the limitations we’ve set for ourselves? That’s what Michael Port, author of The Think Big Manifesto, wants to know. “Sometimes we assign the role of ‘Big Thinker’ to some people, but we don’t necessarily see ourselves in that role,” he says. Often, that’s because of “voices of judgment” – either negative peers and colleagues telling you why something will never work, or (even more damaging) your own internalized voice, telling you the same thing.

But in order to truly thrive, he says, we have to let go of our self-imposed limitations – I can’t talk to that person; she’ll never hire me; that idea is too risky – and give things a try. Here are four of his best strategies to get going and expand your horizons now.

Get Comfortable with Discomfort. Port tries to practice what he preaches. When he was recently asked to give a speech to an audience of 3000 in Australia, he could have delivered a standard keynote address. Instead, he decided to hark back to his days as a professional actor and use the talk as an opportunity to develop an entirely new type of speech – a one-man show with music, film clips, and more. “I’m trying to do something I’ve never seen anyone do in a keynote before, ever, and if I pull it off, it’ll be brilliant, and if not, I’ll bomb, and there’s not a lot in between,” he says. “The best performers are the ones who take the biggest risks, and the performer who raises the stakes high enough is the one who is generally most compelling.”

Set the Right Kind of Goals. Some believe that “thinking big” means you should set wildly ambitious stretch goals to inspire yourself to greater heights. Port doesn’t buy that argument, however. “We sometimes set unrealistic goals for ourselves, and as a result, we’re miserable,” he says. “We’re looking for a level so high, we can never be satisfied.” He recalls the launch of his first book, the extremely popular Book Yourself Solid. “We started the launch at 9 a.m.,” he recalls, “and by 11 a.m., it was the #3 bestselling book on Amazon. Then it went to #2 and stayed there for three days. It was behind Dr. Oz’s book, which was on Oprah all week, and we were bummed because we weren’t #1. That’s because we had unrealistic expectations and I felt like I’d failed.” Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by setting ambiguously huge goals, says Port. Instead, “set a specific goal that’s actually attainable.”

Find Supportive Colleagues. Having a strong, positive peer network is crucial, he says. But that doesn’t mean having a team of yes men. “There’s a balance we need to find,” he says. “Often, when we’re asking people to support us, we’re just asking for approval. But if we’re looking for results, we have to be comfortable with the feedback of people asking us to think bigger.” He cites his own example preparing for the talk in Australia. He invited a friend to critique his performance and she told him she didn’t think the opening – which he’d spent 20 hours perfecting – didn’t work. It was painful to hear, but ultimately helpful. “We think of supportive people as people who say yes. But if you’re really looking for people to push you, you want them to say, ‘That’s great and I think you could improve this.’”

Become the Person Others Want to Help. “Other people determine whether or not we’re successful,” says Port. Thinking big requires understanding that the biggest and most meaningful projects simply can’t be accomplished on your own. “Other people are going to open the doors and spread your messages.” So how can you get others involved and inspired to help? It’s all about attitude and reliability, he says. “You make commitments and fulfill them, you learn in action, and you deal with [your own] voices of judgment without being critical of others.”

Fundamentally, says Port, we need to develop an attitude of constantly learning and trying new things. His new speech/performance  “is amazing to try because it’s something I’ve never done, and it’s pushing beyond what’s expected,” he says. “It’s really scary.” But in teaching workshops on public speaking, a major fear for many people, he realized the importance of testing his own limits. “If I’m asking people to take these risks,” he says, “I’ve got to take the biggest risks of all.

This post originally appeared on Forbes.com.

Dorie Clark is a marketing strategist who teaches at Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business. She is the author of Reinventing You and Stand Out, and you can receive her free Stand Out Self-Assessment Workbook.