If you're a Social Media Manager questioning the impact of social media on your mental well-being, I wrote this with you in mind

Lately, I feel like I’ve been sucked into a negative cycle around social media and its use for society. I found myself falling into a pattern of thinking that the world is an ugly place, that people are shit, and that platforms are full of narcissists and empty content delivered by people who aren’t properly educated on the topic they’re talking about. Simply put, I felt these platforms were sucking all the energy out of me and I had no further motivation to contribute to this space. In spite of my feelings towards social media, I spent even more hours scrolling, which made me feel even more disappointed with my behavior and sometimes despising myself and these new unwelcome habits.?

This could be a disturbing cycle for any person - throw in earning a living through creating content for these platforms, and you’ve got yourself a real conundrum. And the issue here was not the money, it was that I was tying a lot of my identity and validation of myself as a human being, on the work I do. When I felt that I wasn’t being given the opportunity to do my best work that allows the creative part of my brain to thrive, social media became my scapegoat.?

I don’t particularly enjoy getting stuck in ugly holes and staying there for extended periods. Over these months, as I typically do when I feel like I’m stuck in a hole, I turned to (ironically) the internet for an answer. Quite simply, Mark Manson is akin to the voice of reason in my head, so I re-read Social Media Isn’t the Problem… We Are. For anyone having major concerns around social media, this well-researched, brilliantly written piece could help soften some of those views.?

“It's anxiety and depression that drives us to use social media in all the horrible ways we use it—not the other way around.”?

Sitting with myself, exploring how I was feeling, and leaning into others whom I look up to started to unlock new pieces of understanding around how we operate as humans. Yet, this morning I came across this exceptionally powerful podcast that truly helped me unpack the existential torment I had been experiencing for the past months. I haven’t to this day come across a more articulate piece of content that managed to put my internal struggles into words that allowed me to understand what I’m feeling and process my own thoughts with such clarity.?

So what was it about this podcast that spoke to me so deeply and that I found so relatable??

I (somehow) used to dislike Jordan B. Peterson Lab , because just like Africa Brooke , I had heard a video with one idea that I didn’t like and decided he’s not someone I should be listening to. It took me years to understand that it was my own biases and wish to oversimplify complex problems that led me to put Jordan on the list of people I disliked. Years later, after reading 12 Rules For Life and Beyond Order, I realized indeed how foolish and immature I had been, and simply lacked the wisdom to properly listen to and understand this incredible man’s messages.?

Jordan, Mikhaila Peterson , and Africa delve into topics around group identity, how fighting inequality with inequality doesn’t do much to solve societal issues and the perils of ‘devaluating the sacredness of the individual’ by making assumptions about people based on their gender, racial group or any other identity marker.?

“You don’t often realise just how much a label is impacting you until you see yourself act in a way that you wouldn’t expect”?

2022 has probably been the most stressful year in my life. Stress which was not a result of any extraordinary event, but a result of existential questions around my identity, how I view the world, and my role within it. For an extended period, I didn’t even allow myself to admit that I was going through tough times. I felt I had no right to feel stressed in my privileged situation.

All the ‘labels’ I used to see myself ‘fit’ within were crumbling in front of my eyes. I saw myself as an ‘athlete’ - I couldn’t perform in my sport because of multiple chronic pains. I saw myself as a ‘content creator’ - I was going through (and to an extent it’s not over yet) the worst mental block I ever experienced. My job title said ‘social media manager’ - and yet I felt no matter what I did at work, it was never enough to BE a social media manager in the way that my brain pictured this.?

Labels are useful because the world is a complex place and we have to somehow categorize what we see in order to make sense of it and process the infinite amount of information we have at our fingertips. But being mindful of labels and the impact these have on ourselves and others must not be underestimated in any way or considered absolute.

Africa talks about feeling physical pain as a result of her internal conflicts. This was one of the most baffling experiences that I have also been through myself, and it took a huge amount of time for me to correlate the two. I had been feeling muscular pains in my shoulders and back, long after I rehabilitated my injuries. I was simultaneously feeling depressed for extended periods. But the realization that the 2 are joint started to take place on the one-off days when something really great happened (like getting a PR in my squat) - the pain would vanish.?

After the first time noticing, and with the help of a very dedicated therapist, I built a level of self-awareness that allowed me to understand and track what my body was trying to signal to me and that the pain was simply a manifestation of a misalignment of sorts in my brain. I guess you can just call them ‘growing pains’ - going through the (in my case literally) painful process of ridding myself of biases, limiting beliefs, and restructuring my values.???

‘The right approach to solving ‘complex problems’ is questioning not answering.’

What does all of this have to do with Social Media Managers?

If there’s one single message that screams louder than the rest, it’s: BE BETTER.?

Being better by:?

• Being kinder to myself. I am not a label, I am not what someone expects of me, I am FAR from perfect in any way and that’s ok. I am a human, an individual, with my own experiences and for better or worse, my own views.?
• Just because ‘the crowd’ is dong something doesn’t mean it’s right, especially when what we see most every day is the fringes of the crowd who have the loudest voices and not the opinions that the crowd in general generally possess.?
• Being brave enough to admit I was wrong. Being brave enough to have difficult conversations. Being brave enough to take explore solutions, especially when I simply don’t know the answers. Being brave enough to put my biases aside and listening to others who have different opinions. Being brave enough to be vulnerable, because we could all use a little less perfection and a little more human. Being brave enough to make social media a better place in whatever small ways I can.?
• Creating value, not validation. Asking questions and connecting with others to find answers together. NOT jumping on trends randomly without spending at least a few minutes to think first. Focusing on quality rather than quantity. Writing for people, not algorithms.?
• Taking time to switch off and disconnect when I need to. Unfollowing people and pages producing damaging content designed to make ME worse so they can profit. Voting with my clicks and eyeballs. Applying the attention diet for myself, BECAUSE I’m a content creator, not in spite of it.?

Its been over a year since I have created any content for my channels, around the things that I love and believe in, moments like today lead me to a place where I can feel a little more confident and crawl out of my rock with a newfound sense of purpose; re-wiring the patterns that have taken over a part of my brain saying social media = stress.?

Today was a reminder of how fortunate I am to have access to all the knowledge and tools in the world. Social media is the place where I discover these remarkable conversations taking place. It's a reminder that there are genuine people who are working daily to leave a better world behind them. And if I'm only courageous enough to share my thoughts I can be part of the conversation, and part of a crowd who doesn't do things for algorithms, but for other fellow humans who could use a good reminder like the one I found today.? To be exposed to other people’s genius, if only we taught ourselves how to search for the right information. If only we allowed ourselves to stop and profusely listen to what others have to say before closing ourselves off through judgment.?

If you’re a social media manager who also has conflicts about this space, how to manage it and how to take care of yourself while doing so, I would absolutely love to hear what helps you stay sane, reach out here on LinkedIn - let’s have a chat! :)?