You're right. And that's the problem.

I see it in every workshop I run.

A room full of technical leaders—brilliant, logical, methodical. They come in skeptical. Behavioral change? Emotional intelligence? Influence through something other than logic?You can see the resistance. Arms crossed. Eyes squinting.

Polite but firm expressions that say: Convince me.

Fine. Challenge accepted.

I love the pushback. It reminds me of how wrong I used to be.

Because I was that guy, too, I believed logic solved everything. That competence alone should be enough. That if people didn’t get it, I just needed to explain it better.

But I had it backward.

And every time I meet leaders like the ones in my workshops, it only pushes me harder to help them break through their resistance—because I know exactly where it comes from.

I often start with personality assessments—a comfortable entry point.

A structured model with data is right up their alley. They engage, they lean in. But then, we move into emotional intelligence, coaching mindsets, influence, and facing personal barriers.?That’s when the walls go up.

The idea of empowering others by asking more questions than giving answers? Met with immediate pushback.

“Why wouldn’t I just give them the solution?” “They don’t know as much as I do.” “This will take too long.”

Classic logic-driven reasoning. And yet, the more we explore, the clearer it becomes to them: humans are not machines. You can’t ‘logic’ people into motivation. You have to engage their emotions.

But they have to see it in themselves first.

Being human, it’s messy, not just logical.

And that’s where the discomfort sets in.

These are people who built their careers on?being right,?on finding the best solutions, on optimizing, and on solving problems.

And yet, the higher they climb, the less that approach works. Because leadership isn’t only about having the answers—it’s about unlocking the answers in others.

I witnessed this recently with a senior developer promoted to lead an AI team. His technical solutions were flawless, but six months in, his most talented people were disengaging. 'I give them the right answers,' he told me, frustrated. 'What more do they want?'

What they wanted wasn't his answers—it was the space to find their own.

His technical excellence had become his leadership blind spot.

If you want to move higher, if you want to lead at the next level, you need more than technical expertise.

YOU need to evolve.

You know the definition of insanity—doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

What happens when your ability to lead is no longer about how smart you are, but about how well you connect, influence, and inspire?

Because at some point in your career, your technical skills stop being the differentiator. Everyone around you is brilliant.

What sets leaders apart is how they think and how they make others think.

The ones who get stuck are the ones who say: "This is how I’ve always done it."?"This works for me."?"I don’t see why I need to change."

The ones who rise ask different questions: "What am I not seeing?"?"Where is my blind spot?"?"What’s the cost of NOT adapting?"

That last question? That’s everything.

So, how do you prepare for change?

A few people reached out to me directly after the workshop, saying how much the exercises made them rethink their approach. One shared:

"A room full of technical leaders can be a tough crowd, but the exercises, materials, and conversations made me realize how much more I need to bring emotions into my leadership."

That’s what this time together was all about. Not just knowing, but experiencing.

Resistance doesn’t disappear when someone explains a concept. It disappears when you feel the shift happen in real-time.

You have to choose to make the shift.

In Chapter 3?of my book, I talk about walking into an unfamiliar space—a bar, a room, a situation—and choosing how to engage.

You can look around and decide it’s not for you. Or you can walk in, turn on the music, start the conversation, and change the room.

Your mindset creates?your environment. Not the other way around.

You either learn to navigate discomfort, or you get left behind.

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Wayne Dyer used to tell a story about a man searching for his lost car keys under a streetlamp.

A friend asks, “Where did you lose them?”?The man replies, “Over there, by the house.”?His friend is confused. “Then why are you looking here by the streetlamp?”?The man shrugs. “Because the light is better here.”

We do this all the time.

We search for answers where it feels safe, familiar, and comfortable. But real change happens in the dark, in the places we avoid looking.

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Here’s my challenge to you:

If you’re preparing for a workshop—or any learning experience—start by asking yourself:

·?????? Where am I most resistant??That’s exactly where you need to pay attention.

·?????? When do I default to “this is just how I am”??That’s exactly what’s holding you back.

·?????? Am I willing to look beyond where the light is easiest??Because the shift won’t happen where you’re comfortable.

Try this today:?Reflect on your most recent leadership challenge.

Focus not on what others did wrong but on your own emotional reactions. Where did you feel resistance? Impatience? Frustration?

And tomorrow, change just one thing. Ask one extra question before answering. Pause longer before jumping to a solution. See what happens

Once you’re willing to go there, everything changes.

And if you are stuck by the streetlamp, come to my workshops, I'll push you where you need to go.??

Until next time ????

Love ??Roberto

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P.S.?If this hit home, tell me: Where do you see yourself resisting the most?

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