If you're in a relationship business, you're in a conversation business

If you're in a relationship business, you're in a conversation business

As an introverted techie who doesn't like sales or networking, I didn't want to believe that.

And I see lots of other folks who think technology is going to get them out of conversations. Email newsletters. Dreaded LinkedIn automation bots. Website chat bots. ChatGPT.

I don't have anything against those tools (except maybe the LinkedIn automations), but they are not replacements for actual conversation. Their place is to spark and facilitate conversations.

But so many people are scared to talk to people-- even their clients, prospects, and partners.

So they do all kinds of techno-marketing busy-work, instead of having conversations.

Conversations are the building blocks of relationships.

This means that if you're in a relationship business, you're in a conversation business.

Here are some common objections (so I'm told) to running a conversation business with intention, and what you can do about them...

  • People are busy and don't want to be bothered. People are busy, but the right people will enjoy catching up with you at the right time. Sometimes even at the wrong time. (I got interrupted in one my precious "deep work" blocks last week, but when I saw the name on the phone, I answered and spent the rest of my afternoon in a great conversation.) People are free not to answer the phone. People are free to ask you to schedule a later time. But most of us don't live in a village where we bump into the people we want to talk to all the time-- we have to make it happen.
  • I don't know what to say. Sure you do. If you're talking to the right people, you have lots of great things to talk about. Sometimes it's hard to get started if it's been a while, but just start with that. ("It's been way too long, and every time I think about it, I'm embarrassed and don't reach out, and that just makes it worse.") If it's someone you've never spoken to who perhaps grabbed a lead magnet off your website, talk about the subject of the lead magnet ("What did you think about that XYZ checklist? What are you doing for XYZ today?")
  • These networking conversations are useless. Sometimes they are. Most likely, it means you're in the wrong place, meeting the wrong people, and you're almost certainly sending the wrong message. If your message is too broad ("I help business owners get unstuck"), you end up talking to people who fit your nominal profile but don't/can't hire you, and you can't get referred. Get ultra clear on who your ideal client is, and you'll find yourself in more conversations with those people. (Also, you can't rush things, and make sure you are being a Go-Giver in these conversations.)
  • I don't have time. Everyone's busy. Especially if you're doing a bunch of techno-marketing busy-work. ;-) Remember, if you're in a relationship business, you're in a conversation business, so if you don't have time for conversations, you won't have a business. People often try to squeeze conversations into "spare" time. Then it doesn't happen. Block off time in your calendar every week for conversations.
  • I don't have anyone to talk to. Sure you do. Most of us know dozens? hundreds? thousands? of people. We probably even want to talk to a decent chunk of them. We just don't do it. It's not a habit. But you only need to start with one. So who is one person-- the first one who comes to mind-- that you want to catch up with? (Call them now. Let me know how it goes in the comments. And if you get voicemail, just say you really want to catch up, or you were thinking about them because of XYZ, whatever the real reason, and then try the next person who comes to mind.

Before you know it, it becomes second nature and instead of seeming terrifying...

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... it's actually fun... (as I fantasize about snow as Texas broils...)

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(Of course, it helps if your CRM keeps all this stuff organized for you.)

Absolutely spot-on! ?? As Maya Angelou wisely said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Engaging in meaningful conversations not only builds connections but also creates unforgettable experiences. ???? Who's ready to elevate their conversation game with us at ManyMangoes? ?? #MeaningfulConnections #MayaAngelouWisdom #ElevateConversations

Amy Quinn

Iconic and Off-The-Beaten Track - On The Spirit Road: Active Travel to Understand Yourself | Share With Others | Private Groups for Meaningful Community | Local | Slow | Wellness (Read Bio For More)

1 年

First Reuben Swartz every day is a great day for ski photos and video! Thank you! I agree that's there's nothing like conversation for connecting with people. We've become lazy around making effort and as you've mentioned we have tons of excuses. How do you feel about the idea of conversing with a "stranger" and do you have any favorite "break the ice" questions?

Carol Parrish, RICP?

Advisor Helping Clients Invest in Life Fully Lived

1 年

I've definitely had those objections in my head before Reuben. Your responses are priceless and spot on. Great reminder about the power of conversation

Jill R.

Marketing | Strategy | Growth

1 年

Nice post Reuben Swartz. You've hit all the excuses we make for not reaching out and engaging. Liked this advice: "We probably even want to talk to a decent chunk of [our contacts]. We just don't do it. It's not a habit. But you only need to start with one."

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