You’re Not Really Open to Feedback, and It Shows

Let's not sugarcoat that in today’s fast-paced world, the ability to receive and implement feedback is often hailed as a cornerstone of personal and professional growth. And now I want to be very real—how often do we genuinely welcome feedback with open arms? If we’re honest with ourselves, most of us aren’t as receptive to feedback as we like to think we are. The truth is, your resistance to feedback might be more visible than you realize, and it’s holding you back.

The Illusion of Openness

It’s easy to say, “I’m open to feedback,” but those words are often just a shield we use to protect our egos. We nod along during reviews, act like we’re taking notes, and maybe even utter a few “good points” along the way. Yet, deep down, there’s a resistance—a tightening in the gut, a defensiveness that creeps in, and a quickness to justify rather than to listen. This is not genuine openness; it’s a performance.

What’s worse, people can tell. Whether it’s your boss, your team, or even your friends, they can see through the fa?ade. They notice when you’re more interested in defending your actions than understanding the critique. They pick up on the subtle cues—your crossed arms, quick rebuttals, and lack of follow-up questions. And over time, this behavior erodes trust. People become less inclined to offer you the feedback you need to grow, and in turn, you miss out on invaluable insights that could propel you forward.

Why Feedback Feels Like an Attack

So why does feedback feel so threatening? It’s because feedback, especially when it’s critical, pokes at our insecurities. It challenges our self-perception and forces us to confront areas where we fall short. This discomfort is natural, but it’s also where the most significant opportunities for growth lie.

You’re essentially closing the door on those opportunities when you react defensively. You’re telling yourself and everyone else that you’re more interested in preserving your ego than improving. It’s a self-defeating cycle: the more you resist, the less feedback you get, and the more you stagnate.

Breaking the Cycle

The first step in breaking this cycle is awareness. Recognize that your initial reaction to feedback is flexible. Just because you feel defensive doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Take a deep breath, listen fully, and give yourself time to process before responding.

Next, make it a point to ask honest, curiosity-driven questions. Instead of immediately defending your actions, seek to understand the other person’s perspective. What led them to their conclusions? What specific examples can they provide? How do they suggest you improve?

Finally, I would like to encourage you to take action. Feedback is useless if it doesn’t lead to change. By implementing the suggestions of those who took the time to offer their insights, you can show them that you value their input. Even minor adjustments can greatly affect how others perceive your openness.

What’s at Stake

Remember, being open to feedback isn’t just about personal growth—building trust and fostering stronger relationships. When people see that you’re genuinely receptive to feedback, they’re more likely to offer you the insights you need to succeed. They’ll see you as someone who’s committed to continuous improvement and willing to put in the work to improve.

So, the next time you receive feedback, ask yourself: Am I really open to this? Or am I just going through the motions? Because if you’re not truly open to feedback, it’s not just holding you back—it’s showing. And that’s something you can’t afford.

If you’re struggling with receiving feedback and want to explore becoming more receptive, The Mindset Genesis is here to guide you. Let’s work together to break down those barriers and unlock your full potential.