You're Not The Only One Who Feels Like This

I’m not cut out for this...They’re going to figure it out.

That’s what I told myself about 3 weeks into my legal career. And to deal with it, I did what I’d always done…

I doubled down, striving to be perfect.

No wonder I ended up burning out!

I made a lot of mistakes that put me on that path. The worst might have been not sharing how I felt with anyone.

All because I didn’t want to be known as the one who couldn’t hack it.

If only I’d taken a few minutes to clearly analyze my fellow associates. Their facial expressions and body language showed how they really felt…

• Questioning themselves.
• Terrified they couldn’t cut it.
• Putting in crazy hours to make up for it all.

I wasn't the only one. It's just that I didn't know it.

Not sharing what I was going through was isolating. And it convinced me to keep doing what wasn't working.

Until I had nothing left to give (and had no choice other than to slow down).

There’s a reason attorneys suffer from stress, anxiety and depression at higher rates than other professionals.

We're perfectionists who overthink everything - and are trained to question, see every potential problem and avoid risk.

What's the answer?

Step 1: Embrace imperfection.

You know you're not perfect. And newsflash: so does everyone else.

It's okay. Expected, even.

Just let go.

And then...

Step 2: Open up to others.

We lawyers don't like admitting how we feel to other people. Part of this relates to perfectionism (which is why we addressed that in Step #1).

But it's also because we worry about what others might think.

Remind yourself that everyone has these feelings. It would be abnormal NOT to. And then find peers you can share your struggles, feelings and thoughts with.

You'll discover that you're not alone. That what you feel is normal. Which is freeing, and will help you feel less anxious, stressed and overwhelmed.

Human beings are made to connect with other humans. It's how we cope in a healthy manner. Do this and you'll start feeling better almost immediately.

Step 3: Prioritize properly.

You need to figure out what you want out of your career and life. And then actually prioritize those things.

Because you can't be all things to all people (or "do it all").

Which means: boundaries (they're the mechanism for prioritizing the things that are truly important to you).

Need help? Get it.

One of the things that breaks my heart is when lawyers tell me that asking for help shows weakness.

That's a lie. Your brain is putting up barriers to change (because it doesn't like change).

The truth? Getting help is a sign of inner strength. It shows that you're comfortable with being human.

Remember: human beings are made to connect with fellow humans. Part of how we connect with one another is through the use of our gifts to help others.

You're not the only person meant to help people. Others are meant to help you, too.

To learn even more about how to overcome lawyer depression and burnout, listen to my recent interview with Nicole Miller >>>here. She shows true bravery by sharing her story (so do yourself a favor and listen, then follow her lead by doing something about it).