You're not a naysayer, you're a problem solver

Do people tell you you're not encouraging or positive enough??Then read this.

Recently, I made a valuable self-discovery. Often people tell me, or I overhear them saying about me, that I'm like a machine, or a train, or just "too much." I used to take offense at this and I questioned why I couldn't be different, and why others perceived me as overly negative.?

I was thinking about this, because I do feel like I acknowledge what is positive. But still they think I'm overwhelming; I come across like a freight train. I realized the issue is not that I don't acknowledge the positive; I just approach things differently.?

My mind is wired to identify problems because I'm a problem solver. If you come to me for help, my first instinct isn't to focus on the positive or share good news. Instead, my mind directly zooms in on the problems at hand, craving to fix and improve them. My brain MUST fix problems. I do acknowledge the good - but honestly I usually don't verbalize it because it has no problem for me to solve. It's not a deliberate choice, but rather a result of my fixation on the problem that demands my attention. Every problem represents an opportunity for improvement. It's a puzzle that my brain craves to solve.

Problem solvers like me can struggle to express ourselves when there are no problems. So please just know that if we don't mention the positive aspects of something you think needs to be acknowledged, it just means we highly value and appreciate that we don't have to deal with problems. By not bringing it up, we are demonstrating our pride in your achievements and the fact that you spared us the need to solve a problem.

If your brain is focused on the problems to be solved and you get negative reactions from those who don't understand why you aren't more positive, don't beat yourself up. Remind them that you see things differently and try to show them your way of seeing things. I'm not saying to disregard that others need positive reinforcement - you should strive to acknowledge the positive for those who need the encouragement - but also stand up for yourself. Acknowledge that nothing is wrong with you and your intent is only to help, never to harm. You have a unique perspective of the world and your intellectual hunger needs to solve problems to be satisfied.