You're not in love.....admit it!

I had a call with a potential new client recently who is at a crossroads in life and just feels like she is not living up to her potential in anyway.

As she spoke it was like talking to myself back in 2010.

It became crystal clear to me that her marriage is one of settling, she is NOT in love, and she like billions of others suffers with low self love.

My follow up email to her just flowed out almost as if I was being channelled, and ended up way longer than anticipated.

And it occurred to me that some of that would be well worth sharing with you lovely legends.

If you are feeling dissatisfied in life right now, ponder over some of these to see if they resonate for you.

1. You feel unsatisfied overall in life..... asking yourself .....is this it?
2. You are confused and don't know what to do about it.
3. You're not 'in love' with your partner / spouse, and most likely never were.
4. You don't like your partner/spouse's behaviour, perhaps they have harsh words or criticisms, or theres a lack of empathy and compassion.
5. You do not like alone time with your spouse / partner and avoid it as much as possible.
6. You busy your time so you don't send too much time alone with your partner (even if you don't realise thats why you're doing it)
7. You're not happy in your career, or with the people you work with or for.
8. Although perhaps over it now, you've been devastated in the past by someone your loved whole heartedly and nothing has matched up to that feeling of love since.

Your Repeating Thoughts

• You have repeating thoughts in your mind that tell you that if you changed one area in your life then perhaps the rest of your life would improve.

• You are scared of being on your own.

• You tell yourself that you have it pretty good, nice life, good set of friends, holidays and socialising, whats not to like. And yet you still feel unhappy.

• The last big change you did had huge ramifications and that scares you.

• If nothing changes in a year or five years time you will still feel unhappy, fed up, frustrated and like you are not reaching your potential.

Perhaps life is not yet painful enough for you to make a change, you have it better than some people, what are you moaning for?

Here is my reflection

If some or all of that resonated for you I have been there too. I have walked the walk and KNOW exactly what it's like to feel how you feel right now.

So do some or all of the below resonate for you?

• Waking up most days, not wanting your partners arm to come around you in bed. Dreading sex.

• Not feeling passion or lust like you know is possible, and really missing that.

• Not feeling supported or understood in the way you crave.

• Perhaps getting moody or angry yourself, and having no bloody idea why.

• Drinking too much or too often.

• Socialising a lot to avoid the alone time with your partner.

• Having big responsibilities for others to again avoid the alone time with your partner.

• Filling your time with anything and everything to avoid the alone time.

• Feeling annoyed when your partner comes out with stuff you don't agree with.

• Feeling frustrated that you don't share common interests or values, and they are not on the same page as you in lots of ways.

• Comparing yourself and your life with others, and feeling envious.

• Worried about what others will say and think if you make big changes.

• Taking these continual frustrations to work (even though you think you don't) and experiencing negativity there.

• Wearing an "I'm fine' mask, and actually believing it some days, which makes you question your unhappiness.

If you have found yourself nodding along with some of these points, have you done something about making positive changes?

If you haven't then its obviously not painful enough, or the fear of change is too unbearable right now.

Its not painful enough

I always use the analogy of the rusty nail.

Most humans could perch on a rusty nail for quite a long time if they had to and tolerate it. Change only comes when that rusty nail goes too far into your butt cheek and the pain becomes unbearable.

But in tolerating our lives, we most definitely are NOT going to eliminate the biggest regret of the dying:

To not live a life true to who you are, instead of the one others expect of you

This really came into being after a fab interview I did recently on my Never Settle podcast, with a chap called Sean Kelly (due to go live w/c 19th August). He was the guy who brought the 'Storage Hunters' TV programme to the UK (not sure if you ever saw it) and his list of accomplishments to date left me thinking "what the hell have I been playing at'.

But the reason I wanted to share this with you, is because the biggest regret from his dying 98 year old nan....3 days before his 40th birthday....was "not living her dreams or taking more chances".

And yet most people do live their lives for others out of a sense of obligation, responsibility, or guilt - and put others feelings before their own.

When you do this ( yes I've done it a lot in my life too) you are settling for mediocrity, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, frustration or anger and very often live without true love, passion or purpose.

The reason you have made the choices you have up till now are down to people in your life, life experiences and a lack of self love and worth. This will have been cultivated from a young age when you felt unloved, abandoned or abused as a child, and then perpetuated by people and life experiences that came later.

Even the happiest childhoods create this because our parents or care givers cannot be fully available for us ?? of the time.

And we very often repeat the same sort of relationships our parents had, even when we swear blind we never will.

I know this, because that is why I settled with my husband. Until I couldn't any longer.

What I see in YOU

So many people stop believing fully in themselves at quite a young age.

But I know you have a lot more potential and authenticity then you are giving yourself credit for.

However whilst you continue to vibrate at the same frequency you have been at for years without positive change, you will continue to attract more of the same old shit.

That is the law of the universe, and the law of attraction.

You CAN build faith and belief in yourself, and you do NOT need another to make you happy. You already HAVE everything you need inside.......... we all do.

You, like billions of others, have just never given yourself the time or space to feel into that. And to make it worse you may not have the people in your life right now to help facilitate that.

"If nothing changes, nothing changes"

How do you feel knowing that life may never change for you in the way you want it to?

If that just sent a shudder down your spine then I would suggest there is a part of you that might be ready to change your life.

There are plenty of wonderful humans in the world ?? suited to who you are, your values and interests, who want fun and whom you can love passionately as they do you.

Its a journey.

Firstly you need to focus on you and your own self worth. And when you do that, over time your vibration changes.

When your vibration changes, new people and opportunities show up that match your higher vibration. Its has to be that way.

I did a free Trapped to True Love and Passion webinar recently that may well resonate for you and gives some great take aways and things to try. Heres the LINK to check it out.

It's your life......... and YES it should be full of love and joy.

If you would like to have a strictly confidential chat theres a complementary call with your name on it. Click below to book in right now.

CLICK HERE TO BOOK

PS - Having a call does not bind you to any decision, it is merely an opportunity to speak your truth with an objective and caring set of ears.....and you may get some really helpful tips to try.

PPS - Only book the call if you are ready to hear your own truth.