You're Not as Good a Leader as You Think You?Are.

How self-delusion kills leaders and why embracing your flaws makes you unstoppable.

Relax, take a breath. That’s not an insult; it’s a revelation. If you’re a leader?—?of a company, a team, or a group of people who reluctantly listen to you because you sign their paychecks?—?there’s a 99.7% chance that at some point, you’ve sucked at it. Maybe you suck right now. And guess what? That’s good. Truly.

Hear me out before you ragefully throw your overpriced, leather-bound planner at the wall.

If there were an indisputably accepted “Ten Commandments” of leadership, the first commandment would sound familiar to your doctor friends. It would be?—?“First, do no harm.” A dangerous leader is worse than no leader at all.

The most dangerous leaders of all aren’t the ones who make mistakes. It’s the ones who don’t think they make mistakes. The ones who believe their leadership is divine, their instincts infallible, and their vision untouchable. You know, the kind of leaders who use phrases like “do more with less” and “there’s no I in team” with a straight face.

If you’re willing to admit that your leadership sucks?—?or at least has sucked at some point?—?you’re already lightyears ahead of the guy in the corner office who thinks his morning LinkedIn post about “grit” changed the world.

So let’s unpack this: why your leadership sucks, why that’s perfectly fine, and most importantly?—?what to do about it.

1. You Suck Because Leadership Isn’t a Skill?—?It’s a?Practice

Most people think of leadership as a skill, like juggling or tax fraud?—?something you either know how to do or don’t. But that’s not how it works. Leadership isn’t something you master; it’s something you work on. Forever.

Think about it this way: you can’t just “achieve” leadership any more than you can achieve physical fitness. You don’t do 100 push-ups one time and suddenly have the body of a Greek god for eternity. (If only.) No, you have to keep showing up. Keep working at it. Keep sucking less over time.

Bad leaders believe they’ve “arrived.” They slap a fancy title on their LinkedIn profile, read half of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and assume they’re done. Meanwhile, great leaders are still tweaking, still learning, still thinking, Wow, I was a complete idiot last year. Hope I’m slightly less of one now.

If you’ve never had that moment of self-awareness?—?if you’ve never cringed at your own past decisions?—?you’re probably not improving. And if you’re not improving, your leadership is stagnant. And if your leadership is stagnant, well… you suck.

2. You Suck Because You’re Obsessed with Looking Like a Leader Instead of Being?One

Quick question: Do you care more about actually leading or looking like a leader?

Because a lot of people are just cosplaying leadership. They buy into the aesthetics?—?standing in front of a whiteboard, using big words in meetings, posting motivational quotes on social media?—?but they don’t actually lead.

They focus on authority over influence. On appearances over substance.

You’ve seen these people. They use “synergy” unironically. They write emails that sound like they were generated by a corporate jargon bot. They nod sagely in meetings even though they have no idea what’s being said.

Real leaders don’t have time for that nonsense. They’re too busy actually solving problems, making tough decisions, and, yes, occasionally sucking at all of it. But they own it. They don’t perform leadership; they practice it.

If you’re more worried about looking like a leader than doing the hard, messy work of leadership, congratulations. You suck.

3. You Suck Because You’re Confusing “Being Right” with “Being Effective”

Leadership isn’t about always being right. It’s about getting results. And sometimes, those two things don’t align.

Ever been in a meeting where some guy is clearly, indisputably correct about something?—?but he’s also insufferable about it? No one wants to listen to him. People actively root for him to be wrong, just so they don’t have to deal with his smugness.

That guy might be technically right, but he’s also failing as a leader.

Because here’s the thing: if you’re technically correct but you’re alienating people, sowing resentment, or making people actively not want to follow you, you’re not leading?—?you’re just winning arguments. And there’s a big difference.

Effective leaders know when to be persuasive instead of forceful. They know when to step back instead of doubling down. They know that getting people to buy in is more important than proving them wrong.

If you keep finding yourself in situations where you’re “right” but your team is disengaged, resistant, or outright mutinous, it’s not them. It’s you.

You suck.

4. You Suck Because You’re Afraid to Look?Weak

One of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that leaders should always be strong, confident, and decisive. No hesitation. No doubt. No uncertainty.

That’s nonsense.

Great leaders aren’t the ones who pretend to have all the answers. They’re the ones who admit when they don’t. They’re the ones who ask for help, listen to feedback, and change their minds when presented with better information.

Weak leaders are the ones who fake confidence, refuse to admit mistakes, and double down on bad decisions just to avoid looking “weak.”

The irony? That insecurity makes them actually weak. Because no one trusts a leader who’s obviously bluffing their way through life like a bad poker player.

You want people to follow you? Be real. Own your mistakes. Be open about what you don’t know. It’s counterintuitive, but vulnerability is a leadership superpower.

If you’re too afraid to do that? Well… you suck.

5. You Suck Because You’re Trying to Please?Everyone

There’s a fine line between being an empathetic leader and being a doormat. And too many leaders get it twisted.

If your leadership strategy revolves around making sure no one is ever upset, you’re not leading?—?you’re people-pleasing.

Tough truth: sometimes leadership means making decisions people don’t like. It means delivering hard news. It means enforcing standards, setting boundaries, and?—?yes?—?making people mad at you sometimes.

If you’re bending over backward to be liked rather than respected, you’re failing your team. And if you’re failing your team, you’re failing as a leader.

(You suck.)

How to Suck Less at Leadership

Okay, so we’ve established that you suck. (And if you’re still reading, congrats on having the humility to admit it.)

Now, how do you get better?

1. Admit when you’re wrong. No one expects perfection. They do expect honesty.
2. Shut up and listen. If you’re always talking, you’re not learning.
3. Stop overcomplicating things. Simple, clear communication wins every time.
4. Make decisions and own them. Indecisive leadership is the worst kind.
5. Get over yourself. Your title doesn’t mean you’re special. Keep earning respect.

And most importantly: never assume you’ve arrived. Leadership is a process, not a prize.

Final Thought: The Best Leaders Suck Less Over?Time

At the end of the day, sucking at leadership isn’t a permanent condition?—?it’s a phase. A phase you can move past if you’re willing to be honest with yourself, put in the work, and get a little bit better every day.

The worst leaders? They never even realize they suck. They keep making the same mistakes, oblivious to the trail of mediocrity they leave in their wake.

The best leaders? They’re the ones who say, Yeah, I’ve sucked at this before. But today, I’m going to suck a little less.

And that’s how you win.

Now, go forth and suck slightly less.

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Matt enjoys challenging the status quo, questioning conventional wisdom, and discussing mind-bending topics. Email him at [email protected]

Read more of Matt's writing at https://medium.com/@mjdigeronimo