You're Gonna Die

I know that at this very moment, after reading the title, you've made a big cheer with horns pointing at the screen. And if you're a male, you've also got your hand firmly planted in your...well you know where.

And yet, believe it or not, those two obnoxious little words, You're Dying, could completely change your life.

Starting tomorrow morning.

Awakenings.

But what do you think about when you wake up in the morning? I mean as a second thing, after cursing in Aramaic against the alarm clock. Reflect: you've opened your eyes, you've stretched well, and you've even had a good checkup (males only).

It's okay, you're alive.

Well, at this very moment a thought pops up. This is exactly how your brain starts, it's its way of getting you out of bed: it does it by shooting you a nice reflection early in the morning.

This reflection changes according to the period, to the worries, but generally people open their eyes and think wonderful things like:

- what a drag (very popular)

- let's see if I'm feeling anxious today too (and of course the confirmation comes immediately)

- let's see if I feel sad today too (ditto)

- let's see who wrote to me last night

- shit, it's already... (40 minutes after the time you were supposed to wake up)

- shit, it's only...(2 hours before the alarm clock)

- I don't want to...(work, study, take the train, etc.)

- I have to stop eating...(peppers, garlic, and other junk)

- I won't touch alcohol today, I swear (don't worry, by noon you've already changed your mind).

Obviously, the list excludes lovers who have been dating for less than a year, who have other things on their mind when they wake up.

You're Gonna Die.

Start voluntarily changing your first thought in the morning. As soon as you return to your conscious state, you need to mentally repeat yourself the magic words: You're gonna die. And your approach to life will change dramatically.

This is what Gary Vaynerchuk, chairman of VaynerX and CEO of VaynerMedia (whose clients include names such as Toyota, Pepsico, Johnson's) says on his blog, where he published a wonderful post entitled "You're Gonna Die". And he does so starting with a decidedly interesting assumption:

"If you aren't aware of your own death, how can you possibly attempt to live?"

If you are not aware of your own death, how can you possibly attempt to live your life 100%? According to Gary, there is a way to transform the words You are dying into a positive, optimistic and constructive reminder. A very powerful motivational boost that can make you do extraordinary things.

The sense should be something like "You're alive: make the most of it", but in the version You're Dying, death, thanks to the hardness of the word, becomes a real slap that can wake up even the worst sleepwalker.

Memento mori.

The point is that most of us think of life with an obvious and superficial attitude, as if everything should happen like that, magically and mostly automatically. Then an acquaintance dies by accident, and for 24 hours you realize that in a moment you may no longer exist. Other than an Iphone.

Then the goal is to become really aware of your own existence.

You are alive, take advantage of it.

How do you do it?

First of all you have to stop dwelling on the years, especially on those of the past: I used to be like this and now I am like that. On the contrary, you have to tune in with emphasis and energy on the capitalization of your days, hours, minutes, seconds.

You're dying, so every second of your life has enormous importance, you have to capitalize on it as much as possible.

So you have to become quick, focused on every micro step of your day, and most importantly you have to stop wasting all that time worrying about the past, the present or the future.

Here's the winning proposition: you're dying, so stop wasting time thinking about bullshit.

If you think about it, you too are programmed to take advantage of every little bit of something whenever you want. Think about that expensive dinner at that starred restaurant: remember? You licked the plates like a setter, returning them to the waiter white and sparkling. Not to mention that 300 dollars bottle of wine, of which you even swallowed the cork.

Summing up:

1) you're dying

2) don't waste time thinking about bullshit

3) capitalize every second of your existence (but stop swallowing corks)

4) go through life trying to be as quick as possible.

But that's not all.

Patience.

Here we aret: you've tuned your navigator to the magic words I'm Dying. We said that starting today, you'll learn how to make the most of every single minute of your day. But be careful not to fall into the trap of impatience. You know that one of the winning rules in business is speed: if you arrive before others, you increase the probability of closing the deal. But you also know that, with some clients, you must not be too impatient and push.

You need patience and strategy.

This applies to your life as well: you're dying, so you have to be quick and take advantage of every single minute of your day, but taking an expanded, long-term perspective based on patience.

Quick, clear-headed and patient if we want to succeed.

Fear of death.

You're hiding behind a finger: you're afraid of death, which is why you've been thinking about it since you turned 20 and realized you're not invincible. You feel that death represents the moment when you draw the line and take stock of the things you failed to do in life, that's why you fear it. It's like taking an exam without having studied: you're scared shitless.

Hundreds of people have passed through my office afflicted by this fear: death becomes a daily obsession, the dark swamp in which you feel bogged down from morning to night.

Many years ago a man in his 50s came to see me, handsome, tanned, smiling. He played tennis, owned a business, earned a lot of money, was married and had 4 children. A perfect life, in the here and now.

What did he want from me?

A motivational boost: he had been sent to his doctor because he refused to take the therapy that is prescribed for HIV-positive people. As a young man he had been a drug addict, getting into trouble with the law several times. In and out of communities, he had smashed cars, stolen money, impregnated women and got punched.

Most importantly, he had used other people's syringes.

Then he got back on track: no more drugs, no more living on the edge. He left almost everything behind, except for being HIV positive. He has managed to build a normal life for himself, in fact, better than average. As a young psychologist, I couldn't understand why he insisted on not taking drug therapy: he said he didn't want to have side effects, and that he was happy as he was.

The doctors, who were very worried, had no say in the matter for a simple reason: his tests were normal, he didn't even seem to be HIV positive, and no one could explain why.

During our last session, I asked him a question:

"Excuse me, but aren't you afraid of dying?"

"If I am afraid of dying I am also afraid of living. Life is beautiful and should be lived without fear, dear doctor."

"..."

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