If you're going to be weird, you've got to be tough... and a great conversationalist.

I attended the funeral of my husband’s best friend’s mother this weekend. You’d think that was a long-shot relationship tie for me to be present, but she helped raise my husband too. (Thank goodness, she loved fiercely and I’m so lucky she had a hand in shaping who he is).

Her daughter caught me off guard while we chatted pre-ceremony. I associate her with the image a 1960’s working woman, the perfectly coiffed hair, always holding an err of confidence and contentedly keeping a rosy smile on her face.?

She said she looked up to me because I am so comfortable with myself.?

I thought, "how could this woman I look up to and view as completely put together — even while standing in front of her mother’s coffin, look up to me??"

I looked at her through thick, heart shaped frames and returned her rosy smile, holding back details on what calluses I collected to build my thick skin. We’re at a funeral, after all.?

If you’re like me, funerals make you reflect on how you’ll be remembered. You ARE reading “The Weird Co-Worker.” Weird will probably come to the mind of those I leave behind in the workplace and my life in general.?

But what the heck is the driver behind your the weird and wonderful people who cross your path? Where do they come from? As they ebb and flow out of your life, do you understand why they are trying to connect with you in a way you view as unconventional??

Let me give you an example.?

I know the 26 photos of Darcy Ann’s cat pinned in her cubicle can feel overwhelming, but Princess Mittens is probably the most important part of her life, and she wants to connect with the people around her over a pet she is proud to love, and that’s not hurting anyone.?

Now where do “calluses” come in? It takes GUTS to be weird, and I even let myself lose it for years.?

It’s one thing to have judgement placed on you in an educational setting by your peers, it’s another tier when cliques and judgement bleed into a professional setting.?

Here’s a fact you’ll hate: every co-worker you have has been bullied before, whether it’s by a classmate (or worse) a parent. We all have levels of what we share and show of ourselves not only for a level of professionalism, but a level of protection we’ve built over the years.?

Weird co-workers come from your perception of unconventional. The easiest way for someone to connect with you is through shared life experience: how is Darcy Ann going to know you like cats if she doesn’t initiate the conversation by showing you hers??

And yes- you might not want to see yet ANOTHER slideshow of her at lunch, but at the core of this interaction, she’s seeking connection. It’s an effort to make the workplace a community that she feels a part of.?

I want to clarify that weird does not encapsulate the inappropriate and absurd, and this is a space where it will be used positively.?

Embrace the weird. The best thing you can do to boost workplace morale is to give every team member a place to share parts of their life with curiosity, not judgement. Look at photos of Princess Mittens once in a while. Darcy Ann will do better work when she’s part of a team.?

Don’t get me wrong, workplace memories aren’t at the top of my list of considerations when I think about how I’ll be remembered. However, when I reflect on who I am and how I’ve grown there are so many professional relationships that have shaped who I am as a whole.

Maybe I’ll never have coiffed here or a 1960’s working woman demeanor, but I have gotten to bond with her over polka dot dresses and the family gathering banter I come with. Weird to one, wonderful to another, even of times in loss and devastation.

The odds are, if you find someone “weird,” you aren’t the first person to have that thought. Why not go down in history as someone who gave the people around them the powerful gift of acceptance?