You're not Crazy, You're just First

Sadly, you don’t know it at the time, but what you perceive as your flaws and setbacks are actually setups for what we are called to do.?

If you can alter your relationship with rejection and failure, you can transform your entire life, especially when you've allowed these words to take residence in your identity. It is the killer of dreams. You begin to believe that you are. You call yourself these names. You use them as evidence that you're not enough, not smart enough, not beautiful enough...You are defining your own rejection and failure.?

But the moment you start to trust yourself, your entire world changes. Especially, when it seems different to what others are thinking, doing, saying or believing. It can be scary when other people are urging you to do something different, to follow the norm, or maybe you haven’t experienced any success doing it your way, but you keep feeling it in your gut that you’re meant to do it. Despite the failure, despite the rejection.?

I'm here to tell you you’re not crazy, you’re just first. For those of us who feel misunderstood or have parts of us that are odd or quirky, or who feel compelled to dim our light to make others around us comfortable, this is for you.?

Growing up, I used to feel like I had these big dreams, these weird mindsets, crazy ideas, and what I wanted out of life. I couldn't seem to explain it to people without it sounding strange or farfetched. So I would water it down and pretend. I would tone all these feelings, so I could fit in during discussions. So if you are somewhere thinking “Am I crazy?”, no, you are not, but I’m genuinely glad you’re here. So often, when you’re the first one in your family, in your peer group, or in the area you grew up in to think differently or want something different, it can feel isolating, lonely, and like you're not enough.?

Even well-intentioned people look at you differently for having dreams bigger than they can see. And because those dreams were not given to them, they see them through fear and anxiety. They see you pursuing your dreams as a reflection of them not fulfilling their own.?

You are not crazy, you are just first.

It's time to redefine failure and find ways to look at it differently. Let us build that muscle.

The things we think are wrong, odd, or quirky about us are actually the things most right with us because there is only one of you in the entire universe, and there has never been before or after. Imagine, you have your own unique tongue print, fingerprint, and iris…no one has the emotions or experiences you do, or was even raised in the same home as you. And if you are brave enough to show up in this world as you authentically are, then know that there has never been a you before, and there will never be a you again.

Don't think there is something wrong with you if not everyone gets it. You're not crazy, you're just first. You're not a failure, you're just first, you're not weird, you're just first, you're not stupid, you're just first.?

So many of us want to belong so badly that we dim our light, change who we are, and end up feeling lonelier than ever. We cannot have an authentic relationship unless we show up as who we truly are and that is what self-worthiness is.

Self-confidence and self-worthiness are two different things. You can feel confident with your accomplishments and yet not feel worthy enough to feel like you deserve it. If you do not build your self-worth, it will not change. Everything in your life can change, you can get a high from building your self-confidence, but you will still feel empty, like something is missing, and it will never be enough. Self-worth is the foundation of who you are. Self-confidence is the house that you build upon it.

So, you never doubt you belong in any room when you know who you’re walking in with, and you know who you are. As Maya Angelou said, "I come as one, but I stand as 10,000". Whenever you feel doubt creeping in, steady yourself, take a deep breath, and never forget who you are. Remember, you are walking in and doing this for everyone who believes for you that anything is possible in your life.

So, my babies, you’re not crazy you’re just first: first to launch the business of your dreams, the first to believe you’re worthy of betting on yourself, the first to beat addiction, the first to break the generational cycle that you know you’re born to break, the first to start healing, the first to forgive so you’ll be free, the first to love others for who they are not for who you wish they’d be, the first to be a visionary, to dream of the screenplay that you’ll write, the first to recognize your gifts and stop hiding in plain sight, the first boss in your company to say "I also deal with self-doubt", the first mom to say no I’m not okay and I don’t know what to do, the first in generations to love your body, the first to cheer yourself on, and truly believe it, the first to stand up for the outcast and say stop teasing, the first to believe in your dreams, even when others might not get you.

See, when we fear we’re not enough and fear even more we won’t be loved, it’s so tempting to shrink in size and trade your purpose for their love. But when you’re feeling like you don’t fit in or that you never quite belong, your uniqueness is your superpower, your truth is never wrong, and when they criticize or hold you back it's because your dreams aren’t what they’re used to and they’re afraid that you'll outgrow them, leave them behind, and that they'll lose you.?

So, stop asking for advice and seeking validation from people who've never been there themselves. Your soul knows you were made for more with so much purpose inside of you it could burst. You’re born with greatness inside you and whether it’s a blessing or a curse, the world won’t be better until your greatness is dispersed. Remember, there’s only one of you in the entire universe...and your soul knows you’re not crazy, you’re just first.?