If you’re not in the arena*, I’m no longer listening.

Get mentorship. Get feedback.

They forgot to mention "discernment": learning to distill comments and advice from those who have not had skin in the game one point or another.

Entrepreneurs. People who build teams. Creators. Explorers. Mothers. You just have to say you’re doing one or all of these, and there’s always be a steady flow of comments and advice. Interestingly, even from those who haven’t had skin in the game.?Everyone and anyone has something to say it seems. ?

Today, we draw a line in the sand: I am no longer available to listen to advice or critique, if you have not had skin in the game at some point or another.

This doesn’t mean that everyone must have had the exact same experiences. But if you’re commenting from the sidelines, because it feels safer and have not stepped into the arena, I no longer have capacity to take in your comments.?And I hope for those in the arena, that you get to make that choice as well.

Here is what it looks like:

When you step into the arena, you will realise all the armchair planning is for naught.

When you have had skin in the game, you play a different level of the game altogether.

• Before I trained tactical plays on the netball court, that was all practice.?Then when you’re right against the timer, and your defender keeps ramming into you and you’re not sure if you can take another hit if you both fight for the next ball. Yet you know, if you don’t, you miss the chance for another shot. And so you brace yourself, fill your lungs with air from who-knows-where right at that moment to take another bump, and maybe another leap of faith to do a fake dodge and skirt past the defence, get the ball, breathe and take the shot. And make sure it gets in.
• If someone has not coached and practiced to hold space, especially through tough conversations, they do not get to direct others on how it is done.
• If they have not created something of their own to launch, or run a business of their own, or take a cause and make it their initiative, they have not been at the cross-roads of being vulnerable, having their own creation open to judgement, being open to failure but showing up anyway.

Showing up in the arena means being vulnerable, leaning into faith, putting your ownself or your own creation out there.?You will have to dig beyond your known sources of strength and beyond what you thought were your limits many times.?This can’t be taught from a textbook, or from someone who deals with it conceptually only.

Get mentorship. Get feedback. And be discerning. Especially when you are in the arena.

*Reference: I use the term 'arena', in inspiration from the book and work of Brene Brown that centred around the Roosevelt quote sometimes known as the "Man in the Arena". It goes, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,?because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;?who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while?daring greatly.”

*

Welcome to my journey and the stories I have lined up for you. And if that transforms your office, the people, your business just a little bit, I am grateful. Welcome to Undiluted.

#toughconversations #changemanagement #strategyexecution #leadership #selfleadership?#keepingitreal #undilutednewsletter

Thank you for reading my newsletter. If this is resonates with you, please subscribe and share the newsletter. I would love to hear if you have any topics around change management, leadership challenges or tough conversations that you want covered - please leave a comment if you do. In particular, tough (including taboo) and human conversations in the modern day-to-day of fintech payments, entrepreneurship, leadership programs, female leaders and femtech, is my passion.

For further areas for consulting around strategy and change management, fintech marketing and communications, or potential collaborations in the above topics, please send me a message with the information so we can discuss more. Thank you!