Your ways of dating women then and now

In today’s culture, is considered to be an old minded action and would be dealt with seriously; however, in the olden days, it is not viewed the same way. Over time, our culture and perceptions changed from the old traditional mind set.

During the 19th century, these ongoing oppressions of women were characterized as a common.

Chinese tradition while in today’s modern world, it is unacceptable and considered barbaric.

There may be many differences in how the women were treated over the two centuries; however, both of them have their similarities as well.

Firstly, during the 19th century, women, as they lacked education and a social life, were imprisoned at home.

Women were viewed to be responsible for household chores and worked as slaves at home (not allowed to work outside) while the men went out to work.

?In today’s society, women also receive the same education as the men do, they also became economically independent; however, women from both centuries are still held for household chores even though they work outside other than household cleaning and cooking.

Secondly, women were stripped from their individual rights in the 19th century while women, a century later, have their own individual rights; women in the 19th century were treated as the “second class” of the society.

In this century, society claims to “treat women as equal as men”, but that may not be the case.

Women today are still looked down upon like the women in the olden days but not as drastic. There is always discrimination at work against women and most of the high positions and highly paid roles are given to men.

Thirdly, rarely do marriages come out of love in the past century.

The woman’s faith lies on the arrangement made by the two families (the woman’s family and the man’s family), in which the woman had no right to disagree to any arrangements made.

Marriages today are taken out of love, where the arrangements are made by the bride and groom. The young brides of the 19th century had to endure with their husband’s polygamy and other issues that he may possess.

The women of the 20th century, even though their marriages came out of love, they too must endure any double –timing, gambling, or any other issued their husbands may have.

Some of them have to even endure the physical and mental tortures like what the young brides of the olden days had to face but for women today they are able to raise their voices and file for a divorce which the women in the olden days could not do.

Women now and then possess many similarities and differences even though it seems to be very far off from what is considered a common Chinese tradition and categorized as barbaric and unacceptable in the 20th century.

Our ideas and thoughts changed over time coming to the realization that both men and women should be treated equal as men.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?….Why is it that whenever I come across some chick that I had a thing for back when and now it’s all too late anyhow they all give this pretentious shocked "You wanted me??

Why didn't you say so???" when in reality I did and my wooing was going nowhere then so why are they pretending now that it was and is some sort of tragedy???

?Or you get these chicks and you compliment them and they just run away or they block it like they are indifferent and the next thing you know someone is telling you are a real bastard for leading someone on when clearly it was total rejection that they chose to not react in any positive way to a clear advance so you did the right thing and bailed.

Or how about the girls who sit there and say "I really like you but you are too nice" or you've just done something very thoughtful without being asked and all they say is "you'll make some woman really happy one day".

As if that's a compliment. All they are really saying is you are good enough for some future phantom woman but not good enough for me.

So what is the point of wooing, when these are the kind of reactions we get these days?

?All the time from women too stupid to see what's in front of them because they are chasing some Hollywood dream of prince charming and a white flying horse.

"Why Afraid?" Another thing I find where I live anyways is that girls have no training in just politely saying "no".

As a result I've been trained to think that asking a girl out is imposing on her and quite often I will find myself "helping" her by not doing such or making the biggest hints hoping to get a reaction while finding women still avoid giving reactions or hints on their part.

Neither of which of course is conducive to advancing things in any way since it helps rejection but not any positive result.

Do you want to add a word or two?....

To me a culture of the guy asks and the girl says yes or no would be helpful. I personally don't need any song or dance or explanation a polite "Sorry, no, I'm not interested." would be enough.?

But apparently women today can't do that and would rather pretend they just got a call on their cellphone, or run away, or stand there pretending they didn't hear me, or deflect, or run some third party interference scheme than say that simple "no" that actually doesn't feel so bad if you're just at the beginning and not in deep anyhow.

?I don't know where the "don't ask, don't tell" policy in dating came from.

Women CAN say that men are supposed to be more manly, men CAN say that women should be more proactive which is all fine BUT let us talk about reality now.... if all of us are single, and this is all part of it, then I guess we are going to all have to adjust ourselves accordingly both male and female because otherwise this is just another wish list rather than talking reality of what it’s going to take to end your singleness.

So ladies, if you can't find men that are going to woo you, I guess you're going to have to step up to the plate and take steps that will get one to go for you

?And I guess we men who cry about being single will have to adjust accordingly too. This is all very clear to me now because I go to events sometimes where I meet lots of women and feel bad that I screwed up with the hot one and feel a little guilty that I walked away on a bunch of other girls who weren't exactly ugly, but they just weren't #1.

?Your Comments……?

What do you suggest we should do to get their attention?

We are not talking about guys who are not interested, but guys who seem to be but just don't have enough courage to say so.

And how would the guys "adjust accordingly"?

I don't pretend to be an expert, so about all I can give you is some frustrations from the other side. Some really simple common ones I come across:

Sometimes when I'm talking to some girl she'll start making distance between us in some way.

Maybe a little step, maybe looks at a cellphone, maybe wanders off... well if she isn't interested fine, but other times I get the impression some of this is nervous fidgety impulses. For me it derails things.

?It’s just natural for me that if a girl takes a step away from me, rather than step towards her, or even hold my ground, I'll step back too.

At some point in time I couldn't help but to joke at a girl who did this and she insisted she had stepped away because she thought it impolite to encroach my personal space.

Well according to social psychology research, the closer proximately to someone you feel attracted to, the better it is... so think about the implication... stand your ground or go closer!

Sometimes I strike up a conversation with a girl and she leaves me flapping in the wind... I'm left carrying the whole conversation while she stands there going "tee hee, tee hee". Not saying that isn't cute from a girl, at times, but just think what its like on the other end...

?I much prefer the ones that just start blabbing when I start the conversation. (so long as they are conversational) Less work for me. Hard to describe this one exactly but it happens a lot to me these days. Maybe I just got too funny for my own good lately.

Don't have to be conversationally dominating, but don't leave me saying every thing or I start to wonder if I have a captive audience that doesn't know how to slip away.

I'll stop there for now, notice that I haven't really told you to do anything overly outgoing for yourself to do?

Oh, wait I'll add this in... if you're talking to a guy, and there are other people there, its natural for people to turn and talk and join and leave other conversations...

if you have someone interrupt your conversation, don't leave the guy standing there for a long period of time while you hear the gossip about so and so... we're guys used to women playing third party interference to get rid of us....

?So while you might THINK you are just hearing another conversation in your busy social life, you're actually rejecting us.

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