`YOUR WAY TO CONTINUOUS SUCCESS`
Colin Thompson
Managing Partner Cavendish/Author/International Speaker/Mentor/Partner
“We don't know who we are until we see what we can do"
-- Martha Grimes
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THE EASY WAY TO SUCCESS
easy (Adjective. /adverb) First appeared 14th century
a. marked by peace and comfort b. not hurried or strenuous c. free from pain, annoyance, or anxiety d. without undue speed or excitement e. in or with moderation f. without worry or care g. without a severe penalty h. without violent movement or my personal favourite... i. to proceed calmly and in a relaxed manner For years, I have tried to encapsulate the essence of what it is I share with you, whether in seminars, workshops, through these tips, or one on one with my coaching clients. While reading Chin-Ning Chu's fascinating book "Do Less, Achieve More", I realised that in essence, I share with people the Easy Way to Success. The Easy Way to Success is not always without difficulty, but it is without any undue effort or stress. It is not without work, but by definition, it is without hard work, because it teaches us to approach that work with a sense of joy and inner ease. And while it may not always be without pain, it is invariably without suffering. (As the saying goes, "suffering is optional, but you have to provide it for yourself").
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The Hard Way to Success Tension (Stress) + Continual Action = Success What do such "Type A" overachievers as Donald Trump, Attila the Hun, and any sports coach who has ever burst a blood vessel while exhorting his players to ever higher levels of achievement have in common? They are all believers in the bigger, better, faster philosophy of life, success, and achievement. Consequently they are always on the lookout for more efficient and effective ways of driving themselves and their charges ever onward and upward into an endless sky of personal achievement, glory, and success.
While stress-full action can unquestionably be effective in the short term, it is ultimately self-defeating, as it destroys the goose in pursuit of the instant gratification of more and more and more golden eggs. Imagine a kettle filled with water - as we increase the heat under the kettle (take more action, push ourselves a little harder), the water begins to heat up. But if we take too much action and push ourselves too hard, the kettle itself begins to melt and the water inside evaporates into thin air.
Worse still is the flip side of the Hard Way to Success, a.k.a. the Simple Way to Failure: Tension (Stress) + Continual Inaction = Failure When we become all too aware of our own inadequacies (often real but rarely irreversible) and how far we are from our desired end results, we can experience frustration, hopelessness, and even self-loathing. In traditional learning theory, this corresponds to the stage of Conscious Incompetence - we've suddenly become aware of how ineffectual we are at whatever it is we are trying to learn how to do, and consequently generate unresourceful feelings which make us even more ineffectual.
This is the stage where it is most common for people to give up on a project, goal, or dream, as it feels virtually impossible to make anything happen. It is also the stage of the "should" - i.e. 'I should do this, it should be easier, and I should be better at it.' Fortunately, when you're ready to stop "shoulding" all over yourself, there is an "easy" way out... 1. Identify 5 people you know who are currently doing things the Hard Way (it's OK if you're one of them!) 2. Take a few deep breaths and put your attention on your physical heart. If you can, think a "happy" thought - focus on someone or something you love; someone or something who loves you. 3. Now, ask yourself "How could I take better care of myself right now?" It's OK if you don't come up with an answer - just taking the time out to ask is a great start. If you do get an answer, do your best to act on it as soon as you can.
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The Easy Way to Success Here's the 4 part formula for taking the Easy Way to Success: Ease + Focus + Action + Inaction = Success 1. Ease I remember when I was first learning to drive in Henley-in-Arden, as long as nobody attempted to communicate with me, there was no ambient noise, and I did not have to breathe, I would do fine. While I did get where I wanted to go, I generally arrived exhausted. When I started playing comedy tapes in my car (the Goon Show, Monty Python, and Bob Newhart), I relaxed enough to begin enjoying the process. Not only did I still get where I wanted to go, I arrived refreshed and ready to play. You can increase your sense of ease as you go for what you want by physically relaxing your body, breathing deep, being present with what it is that you're doing, and finding a way to enjoy it even more than you already are.
Mini-Experiment: 1. Crumple up as many pieces of paper as your environmental conscience will allow. Get a wastebasket or similar receptacle and place it about five feet away from you. 2. Get your body into a relaxed state. A simple way of doing this is to hold your breath and tense all your muscles for a moment, then let it all go on an exhale, shaking your body out as you breathe. Put a smile on your face as you do it. (My personal favourites are the politically incorrect "stupid American toothy grin" or the equally un-p.c. "subtle Oriental knowing smile"). 3. When you are feeling relaxed, begin throwing the crumpled up paper "balls" into the basket. The key here is that regardless of where the balls wind up, you stay relaxed and easy in your body. A nice way to test is to imagine someone watching you. If you've "got it", they would probably assume from watching you that you "meant to throw it over there" :-)!
4. Keep practicing your toss until you can do ten in a row with your body relaxed and easy. If you accidentally start putting the balls in the basket, that's OK too, but if you can stay relaxed and open as you miss ten out of ten, you're in the advanced class! 2. Focus "The more it snows (tiddly pom), the more it goes (tiddly pom),?the more it goes (tiddly pom), on snowing." -from A.A. Milne's 'The House at Pooh Corner' The power of focus works on "the Winnie the Pooh Principle" - the more you focus on something, the more of it you get. Physiological, psychological, and metaphysical theory abound as to why things work this way (the reticular activating system, psychological vestment, and the law of attraction being three of my favourite explanations), but for our purposes, let it suffice to say that it's pretty darn important to focus on what you want. How do you know if you're focusing on what you really want? It feels good! If thinking about what you want is causing you to feel bad, it probably means you're actually focused on how far away it is, or the problems you're having along the way, or on why you'll never get there. Focusing on what you want feels good - that's one of the ways you know you really want it!
The Power of Giving Up Sometimes we focus on something so intensely we feel as though we are "willing" it into being. While this can occasionally bring about some short-term results, it usually leads to excessive tension and even premature burn-out. If this sounds like you, try the following experiment: For the next week to month (depending on how far gone you are!), give up on attempting to reach your goal. Take it off the calendar, remove it from the to-do list, and replace it with something else, if only to take your mind off it. One of three things will invariably happen...
a. Everything you've been working so hard for will suddenly happen 'all by itself.' I've lost track of the number of times I've experienced my or someone else's career take off in the first month after they 'quit'.
b. You'll recharge your batteries and return to your project refreshed, energised, and raring to go.
c. You'll realise that the only thing that was keeping you moving forward was momentum, and you'll give up for real. This often happens when the goal was either something you never really wanted (but thought you 'should' have) or when you've outgrown the goal but just didn't notice in the whirlwind of your own activity.
3. Action I sometimes like to do a little reality check when it comes to my goals by asking myself: "If affirmation, visualisation, and all that other mind stuff was all a load of %#@!, and the only way to get stuff was to do stuff, am I putting in the hours and doing enough of the right things to get where I want to go?" Note that I'm not saying that those things aren't extremely valuable - just that by themselves, they're rarely enough to take us all the way to our goals. What's the Easy Way to take action? Choosing to take actions that are intrinsically rewarding - i.e. ones that aren't dependent on achieving a specific result to be worthwhile. While this can vary from person to person, here's an example of some of the different types of actions I might choose to take if I was pursuing the goal of losing weight...
Success-only Actions (only worth it to me if I reach my goal): Giving up my favourite foods, not going out for dinner anymore, saying 'no' to sweets, taking aerobics classes (a personal dislike!) Intrinsically Satisfying Actions (worth it to me whether they 'work' or not): Drinking more water, going for long walks in nature, stretching, creating my own training program based on swimming and water-based weight training (personal passions!) The key is to personalise your action plan until you find those actions that are intrinsically satisfying to YOU!
4. Inaction "In order to accomplish anything truly worthwhile, it is necessary to be slightly under-employed." - James Watson, Nobel prize winning scientist One of my favourite zen stories is about a seeker who is very keen to attain enlightenment. When he asks the zen master how long it will take, the Zen master looked straight into the seeker's soul and said, "20 years" .
The seeker looked horrified. "What if I really apply myself? I will willingly work twice as long and hard as any other student in your monastery!" The Zen master looked bemused. "Ah - I did not realise the ferocity of your commitment... it will take you at least 30 years!" Now the seeker was confused. "Perhaps you did not understand, O great one", the seeker continued. "I am willing to push myself to the limits, go the extra mile, and give 110% in order to attain enlightenment". "In that case", replied the Zen master, "it will take you no less than 40 years to get what it is that you want." Inaction is important in the attainment of success for at least two reasons:
a. "Quality Recovery Time" Sports training specialists universally agree that the harder it is you train, the more important it is to take time to allow your body, mind, and spirit to recharge. The more frequently you build QRT into your schedule, the less 'dramatic' those breaks need to be. If you're someone who feels like you need a month off just to catch your breath, start building mini-breaks (I recommend 3 minutes an hour) into your day and notice how quickly you reconnect with your natural enthusiasm.
b. Allowing the Universe to Catch Up What's the difference between a good salesman and a great one? A good salesman sells and sells until he makes a sale; a great salesman sells only up to a certain point, and then allows the client to sell themselves the rest of the way. Similarly, if you push and push and push to reach your goals, you may be trampling all over the seeds before they have a chance to flower. As Dan Millman used to ask, "What might God be able to do if you took the day off?"
The Easy Way in Action OK, so now that you know what it is, how do you actually do things the Easy Way? Why in three easy steps (of course)... :-)
1. Do less (but do something) You probably already have a pretty good idea of whether you're pushing too hard or not hard enough, and it's a balance that can change many times within the life of a project, goal, or dream. If you do need to do something, get started with something fun - i.e. intrinsically satisfying, whether or not it immediately achieves your desired end result. If you're already racking your brains to figure out what else you could be doing to push yourself over the edge of success, take some time off from your goals and allow the universe to catch you up before you succeed in pushing yourself over the edge!
2. Relax (and enjoy finding your natural energy) Whatever it is you do, chances are you'll do it better when you relax your muscles and do it with ease. At first, relaxation can seem to drain your energy (ever fall asleep during a massage, yoga class, or even sex? :-) However, as tension-based energy sources (sugar, caffeine, and adrenaline come to mind) drain out of your body, the subtler natural energy of your body will begin to flow, and you may even find yourself waking up refreshed and filled with energy!.
3. Tune in (to how you're feeling right now) I heard a story recently about Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of the martial art discipline of Aikido. When praised by one of his disciples on how he lived permanently in-balance, Ueshiba thought for a moment. "I do not actually live in balance", he said. "In fact, I am virtually always off-balance. But I know what balance feels like, and I am continually in the process of returning to centre." Take a moment now to tune in to your body - which parts of your body feel tense, and which parts of your body feel especially relaxed? Tune in to your mind - what are the voices in your head talking about today? What mental movies are playing in the cinema between your ears? Finally, tune in to your heart.
What higher guidance is waiting for you as you focus your attention on peace and understanding?
May all your success be fun and may all your fun be successful!
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Discover how this publication will enable you to deliver superior long-term value to its shareholders and encompass the retention of its employees and customers.
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Open your mind up to the Challenges we face in a global trading environment to be successful.
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A Breakthrough in Continuous Performance
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Leadership Excellence
Excellent Leadership Is Vital to Continuous Success
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“Leadership is more a collective pursuit than a solo performance. Team = Success. Unlock Your Success”
-?????? Colin Thompson
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Take on board this excellent publication for your success;
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??`How to Learn, Lead and Grow as a Champion`
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Achieving Business and Personal Excellence
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Learning – Leading – Growing – Winning Together = Success
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Open your mind up to the Challenges we face in a global trading environment to be successful
Plus, many more great publications for your success;
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Dr Colin Thompson | Barnes & Noble? (barnesandnoble.com )
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“The Capacity to Learn is a Total Gift, the Ability to Learn is a Great Skill, the Willingness to Learn is a Choice for Your Future”
- Colin Thompson
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Together we can make a difference...
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Have fun, learn heaps, and enjoy every step of your journey!
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Life is fun; life is hard work, but just look at the success you will have in life.
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Sharing successful information from many sources for your success.