Is Your Vulnerability Convenient & Conditional?

Hello Human.

I have been thinking about vulnerability and being vulnerable.

I have concluded that vulnerability and being vulnerable are being overused.

Vulnerability isn’t being overused. The terms ‘vulnerability’ and ‘being vulnerable’ are being overused. Yet more words that have found their way from somewhere else into workplaces.

Words that feature a little too frequently in leadership and management narratives, and dare I say it on PowerPoint slides and shared zoom screens.

Another shiny trend I hear you say. I reckon you might be right, and shiny trends were the focus of my first Muse in March. But I digress.

It’s almost April now, be vulnerable, come with me.

I read a Poem a couple of weeks ago.

Mark LeBusque read a Poem? Surely not. True story Human, there’s a lot to be said for poetry, thinking, expression, and leadership, but that’s a story for another day.

So, the Poem I read was about ‘half-assing’ vulnerability.

The guts of the message was that most vulnerability we see today is ‘convenient and conditional’. We’ll only appear vulnerable in situations ‘where it might be to our advantage’. We’ll use the vulnerability to ‘better our position and standing in someone else’s eyes’.

Interesting thoughts right? They sound about right to me, particularly in the workplace context.

There’s something in the true state of vulnerability and being vulnerable about pain and rawness. About showing and telling who you really are. Not the ‘washed’ workplace version of you. Not the version of being vulnerable as a leader that enhances your reputation at work; that ticks the box on your leadership development plan; that is a qualitative measure in this year’s scorecard.

I picked this gem of a quote from a psych article “vulnerability is a sacrifice of comfort, of the ego, allowing yourself to be potential prey to emotional velociraptors.”

Now, can you see all those leaders masquerading around your workplace with the big V (for Vulnerable) on their chest?

Are they sacrificing comfort?

Are they truly penetrable on an emotional level?

Are they showing you and telling you exactly who they are?

I doubt it.

Does the conversation flow easily when it’s about hobbies and interests and world views, but less so when it’s about emotions and innermost fears and feelings??

I reckon it does.

Do the walls go up when the conversation gets deep and personal?

I reckon they do.

Newsflash: being selectively ‘open’ with another human isn’t being vulnerable.

I encourage everyone, including myself, to look into the vulnerability mirror.

My go-to Mark-ism on vulnerability is this: vulnerability isn’t a competition or a KPI.

Organisations or managers that measure everything under the delusion that ‘if you can’t measure it you can’t manage it’ or are encouraging other humans to 'one-up' each other on vulnerability stories are making misguided attempts to measure vulnerability!

Insert heavy sigh here...

Go well Human.