Your Vote Matters

The best ideas come from honest discussions and constructive criticism. A company that fosters open dialogue empowers its people to contribute and innovate.? – Indra Nooyi (former CEO of PepsiCo.)

With today being election day, it is quite common today to hear the expression, “Your vote matters.”? Over my years of leadership, there has been one consistent mantra that has followed me: never talk politics at work!? That is one principle I have tended to keep consistently.? However, with the advent of social media and other means of communication, it is nearly impossible to keep political conversations entirely out of the workplace.? While many places do an excellent job of managing this, there is always a trickle that comes through the lunchroom or one-on-one meetings.? With work from home guidelines, there are probably more opportunities for it to filter into your day-to-day activities.

Having said this, I have probably had more engagement about political discussions this year with others than in any previous year.? However, this has not occurred during work hours.? Instead, they happen around friends and outsiders.? Because I am aware of how social media impacts what others see and feel about me, I am very conscious of my persona online.? To be more direct, I make a conscientious effort to ensure the person they see online matches the person they see at work.? That is not to say that I have not engaged in passionate discussions.? What I can say is strive to resemble a reasonable person whom people would both engage and even become friends with.

It is important as leaders to maintain a certain level of gravitas when speaking with others on sensitive and perhaps even untouchable topics.? Along those lines, it is important to make sure that, regardless of our personal feelings, we create an environment where people feel a level of what Dr. Amy Edmondson calls “Psychological Safety.”? This is defined as the belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes, and the team is safe for interpersonal risk taking.? This concept applies not only applies to workplace conversations but also to interpersonal ones.? Thus, it is critical to have conversations that ensure this safety.? In a political environment where many opinions may come across as inappropriate and downright hostile, how can you maintain your emotional intelligence?? Here are four ways to make others safe when a topic ventures into controversial topic.

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Respecting Other Viewpoints

In my years of observing how conversations go wrong, the most common denominator is often the words that are spoken.? Someone frequently says something that is disrespectful, upsetting, or even outright rude.? As a leader, we have heard words that may seem offensive whether they come from someone young and na?ve or from someone who may be displaying a lack of control and becoming overly passionate about a topic.? Regardless of the why, it is our response that makes a difference between respectful dialogue or a discussion that needs to be shut down.? Thus, it become crucial to avoid using trigger words that will escalate the situation further.? Words that imply either lack of intelligence or suggest someone is being unreasonable can push the other person into a corner and cause them to adopt a fight or flight posture.? Instead, we should use language that acknowledges that person’s thoughts and opinions.? You can note how passionate or frustrated they are and express your interest in understanding their view.? Furthermore, state while their opinion may be different, it is reasonable.? A phrase that I often use even if I may disagree with someone is, “I hear what you are saying, and it makes a lot of sense.”? This ensures that person feels their opinion is being heard.? This approach allows for true dialogue to begin while creating that psychological safety for both sides to be heard.

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Be Curious

One of my favorite conversations with a new friend occurred when I asked why they supported a candidate running for office.? After hearing their view and being curious about their ‘why,’ I found that we had a lot in common, even though we came to a differ conclusion about which candidate best suited that perspective.? If I focused exclusively on my political leaning, there is a good chance we never would have gotten to a point where we asked about each other’s lives and even prayed for each other.? Conversations that go wrong can often begin when one assumes what the other person thinks.? It is vital no matter what we think and feel that we set a clear goal of gaining understanding of another’s point of view regardless of our own.? This entails focusing on having greater curiosity of why someone feels as they do.? Do not question or challenge them on their view. When something does not agree with you, be willing to inquire why they feel that way.? Clarifying the purpose behind their thoughts, feelings, and ideas often reveals a reason behind their opinions and often helps you gain an entirely different perspective.? Ask for clarification on those things that do not resonate with you or do not make sense.

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Listen.? Don’t Respond

We tend to be very focused on expressing our opinions and thoughts.? When creating a safe place for dialogue, our goal is not to win a conversation but to gain clarity on someone’s thoughts and ideas.? Thus, we are in the mode of gathering information.? This means the rules of listening are paramount.? Displaying active listening confirming what they are saying and paraphrasing is important.? Clear your mind of thoughts about how to respond and throw them out the window.? Focus on ensuring that you know their perspective.? Not necessarily to the extent that you know your own, but certainly where you can articulate their thoughts as if they were your own.? Finally, here is one thing that is absolutely necessary in these conversations.? Acknowledge when common ground is found.? This creates trust, showing the other party that you are truly willing to hear them out.? Nothing opens dialogue more than saying, “Yes, I agree with that.”? It does not mean agreeing with things you do not.? It means the greater your authenticity in listening and acknowledging, the more likely the conversation can move forward with a degree of courtesy and respect.

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Be Appreciative

It is never easy for someone to share their authentic self.? Many will feel like they are out of character or worry that they will be unfairly judged for their opinions, particularly if it is out of the mainstream.? In dealing with sensitive issues, it takes a degree of vulnerability, and that is a trust that should be acknowledged.? Make sure to appreciate them for sharing their perspectives.? A very introverted team member of mine asked to speak with me about something very personal.? Knowing them and the courage it took for them to share it, I took a moment to tell them that it was humbling they felt comfortable enough to tell me about it, and I thanked them for doing so.? It made them feel that much more relaxed for future conversations, and they became a better team member who went on to do greater things for the organization.? It all started with appreciating their willingness to discuss a sensitive topic.

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Part of leadership is creating a safe environment where open dialogue is a constant.? This requires us to listen empathetically, communicate honestly, and foster respect for diverse perspectives.? When the topics are very sensitive, our goal should not be to persuade immediately.? Instead, it should be to create a safe place where ideas can be respected, shared, heard, and appreciated.? Let us be the leaders that create psychological safety to allow for conversations from this month’s productivity to how to move forward from a divorce.? Be that leader because after all, your vote matters.