Is Your Thinking Helping You?

Last week I posted an article regarding how I was feeling defeated. The projects and what I was working on just kept feeling like everything I was doing was failing through. Have you ever felt that way? That no matter what you are doing it just doesn't feel like you are gaining any ground. Like you are in quicksand and the more you move the faster you sink? That's what I've been feeling for the past few months.

The question is what do you do when you are going through something like this?

First, tell the people around you how you are feeling, do not keep it in. My wife reminded me of a movie we watched with Ricky Gervais called "Ghost Town" and one of the quotes from the movie is "What is the worst thing for teeth....secrets". Made me laugh.

Second start asking yourself good questions and trying to look at the situation from different points of view. The timing of this was pretty interesting due to I am taking Jim Kwik course called "Kwik Thinking" and one of his lessons he teaches Edward de Bono's "6 Thinking Hats" strategy. Each hat is a way you should think about the problem/challenge you are dealing with. Now below isn't specifically Edward de Bono's definition of each hat. I just modified it so I can remember it and use it for me. If you want his exact strategy please go to https://www.debonogroup.com/services/core-programs/six-thinking-hats/

6 Thinking Hat

Get a notebook or something to write in so you can do this exercise if you need to work through a problem/challenge as you go through this. Also, this is an interactive strategy so you need to image you are putting the hats on and getting into that state. It was weird for me at first as well. When I bought in and did the exercise fully, I really got a lot out of it personally.

White Hat - Logical: Physical image you are putting on this hat get into the state of thinking logically about the issue. Seriously the only way to really help with a problem is to be able to evaluate it from different points of view. Now from a logical mindset like you were a Scientist write down logically how you see the problem. What is happening with the problem? How do you see it? Logically what would you do to resolve it? Ask yourself logical questions to see what comes up and write them down.

Red Hat - Emotional: Take off the White Hat and now put on the Red Hat. Get into your emotions, doesn't matter what they are, happy, sad, frustrated, angry...etc. Anyone that knows me, knows I don't normally swear. These pages for me was raw emotion. If you ever watched the Disney movie Tangled where Rapunzel has her mode swings. If not watch here: https://youtu.be/00abpt7AVDU . That is what my writing looks like just with more profanities when I go through the frustration and pissed off phase. It's ok, this is just for you and to get it all out so that you can evaluate what is going on

Yellow Hat - Optimistic: I'll be honest with you, this one was hard for me. I looked it up to remind me what I was supposed to be writing. The meaning of optimistic is "feeling or showing hope for the future an optimistic outlook". WOW did I not like that! The next few lines I wrote after reading that ended up going back under the Red Hat's section. I didn't realize how many emotions I was holding on to and not expressing. Once I let it out, I was able to put on the Yellow Hat and look at the future and potential. What do I want to get out of this situation? What are the great things to look forward to? What am I working on that is going to benefit me? Who is around me that is helping me to learn and grow? Those are just a few questions I was asking myself as I was writing.

Black Hat - Critical: Now this one was interesting, when putting on the Black Hat you are suppose to critique yourself. There are two sides to this, first is your negative ego which is that loud voice in your head that breaks you down whenever it get's a chance. Mine can be a jerk and to be honest due to the things I have gone through in my life. It has a lot to work with to try to mentally leverage me to break me down. This is how I learned to identify it. When you hear this internal voice and if you feel it's breaking you down, belittling you, disempowering you...etc. That is the negative ego, when it comes up, which it will, tell it off in your own way. You don't need to listen to it. Now the other way is to critique yourself is you doing it with compassion and honesty. If there is something you are not doing or not good at call it out. It's ok, this is where you are going to learn what is not working for you, the situation and how can you fix it. This is not to break you down, it's to show you where you need to grow or even let go.

Green Hat - Opportunity: Next is the Green Hat and looking at the opportunities in the situation you are dealing with. What I personally did was I went back through my other Hats to see what I wrote. Then from there I look at what were my opportunities to learn, grow, in my career, my personal life...etc. What does the future look like?

Blue Hat - Management of them all: Now you are at the last hat, what do you do now? The only thing you can do, put on your Blue Management Hat and create a plan of action from what you've learned. What is your plan? How are you going to execute it? Who do you need to be part of your plan? What are your timelines?

I share this with you because I feel I am not alone in what is going on right now in the world. How we are being affected mentally and emotionally because of this Pandemic. The feelings of insecurity, feeling alone, defeated, whatever you are feeling. I am fortunate to have a strong support system around me that is there for me. My amazing wife, Jason, Joel, Neal, James, Dan, Ranbir. Everyone who has reached out after I posted the last article.

Thank you I really appreciate it!

~ Fiat Lux (Let there be Light) Brandon