Is Your Teen Overwhelmed by College Applications? A Parent’s Guide to Reducing Stress for High School Seniors

Our daughter is going into her senior year of high school, and like most seniors, she’s experiencing a mix of excitement and stress as she prepares for the next chapter of her life. The college application process looms large, especially since she’s applying to Fine Arts schools, where the competition is strong, and the application process involves multiple detailed steps.

As we watch her navigate this challenging time, it’s clear that she’s not alone. Many of her friends are grappling with the same feelings of anxiety and uncertainty about their futures. We’ve been through this journey before with our son, who is now heading into his sophomore year of college and playing lacrosse. It’s also a topic that always comes up when I am speaking at high schools—students and parents alike are navigating the same pressures and challenges during this critical time. This period, while full of promise, is also marked by a significant amount of pressure—pressure to make the right choices, to stand out in a crowd of applicants, and to secure a spot at a dream school. On top of that, there’s the added expectation to make the most of their Senior year and have fun, which can feel like yet another responsibility during an already busy time.

Here are some practical strategies that my wife and I are trying to use to help our daughter navigate this challenging time, and hopefully, they can help other high school seniors facing similar challenges—and parents supporting their children through this process.

1. Embrace the Journey, Not Just the Destination

One of the most important pieces of advice for students is to shift their focus from the outcome—the acceptance letter—to the journey itself. The college application process is not just a series of tasks to check off a list; it's an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth.

We encourage our daughter to view each application as a chance to explore and express who she is. This is especially relevant for students applying to Fine Arts programs. Their portfolios, essays, and interviews are not just tools to impress admissions committees—they are platforms for showcasing their unique talents, passions, and perspectives.

This mindset shift can help students approach the process with a sense of purpose rather than fear. Instead of worrying about whether they will get into their dream school, they can focus on how they can best represent themselves and their artistic vision. This approach can reduce stress and increase the sense of fulfillment, regardless of the outcome.

2. Break It Down into Manageable Steps

The sheer volume of tasks involved in applying to colleges—researching schools, preparing portfolios, writing essays, gathering recommendations, and completing applications—can feel overwhelming. When faced with such a daunting list, it's easy for students to feel paralyzed by the magnitude of what lies ahead.

To combat this, we’re encouraging our daughter to break the process down into smaller, more manageable steps. Rather than tackling everything at once, she can focus on one task at a time. For example, she might start by researching a few schools and then move on to refining her portfolio. Setting specific, achievable goals for each day or week can make the process feel less overwhelming and more manageable.

This approach not only reduces stress but also helps students maintain momentum. Each small accomplishment provides a sense of progress, which can build confidence and keep them motivated throughout the application season.

3. Focus on What They Can Control

The college application process can sometimes feel like a game of chance, with so many variables outside of the student's control. Admissions decisions are influenced by factors such as the number of applicants, the needs of the institution, and the subjective judgments of admissions officers. This uncertainty can be a significant source of stress.

It's important to remind students that, while they can't control every aspect of the process, they can control their effort, preparation, and attitude. We’ve been encouraging our daughter to focus on what she can do to present her best self. This might include dedicating time to perfecting her portfolio, seeking feedback on her essays, or preparing thoroughly for interviews.

By concentrating on what they can control, students can regain a sense of agency and reduce feelings of helplessness. They can also take pride in knowing that they have done everything in their power to put their best foot forward, regardless of the outcome.

4. Seek Support

The college application process is not something that students have to navigate alone. In fact, seeking support from others can be one of the most effective ways to manage stress and stay on track.

We’re encouraging our daughter to reach out to her school counselors, teachers, or mentors for guidance. These individuals can provide valuable insights into the application process, help students identify their strengths, and offer constructive feedback on their portfolios and essays.

In addition to professional support, peer support is also crucial. We remind our daughter that her friends are going through the same experience, and they can lean on each other for encouragement and advice. Sometimes, just knowing that others share similar anxieties can help reduce the sense of isolation and make the process feel less overwhelming.

As parents, we also try to play a supportive role. While it’s important to give her the space to take ownership of her applications, being there to listen, offer encouragement, and provide practical assistance (such as proofreading essays or helping with deadlines) can make a significant difference.

5. Take Care of Their Well-being

Amidst the pressure to submit stellar applications, it's easy for students to neglect their mental and physical health. However, maintaining a balanced lifestyle is essential for staying focused, energized, and resilient during this demanding time.

We’re encouraging our daughter to prioritize self-care, even as she works on her applications. This means getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, and taking breaks to relax and recharge. Physical activity, in particular, is a great way to manage stress and boost mood.

Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment—whether it's spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or simply unwinding with a good book—can also help students maintain a positive outlook. The college application process is a marathon, not a sprint, and taking care of their well-being will help them stay strong until the finish line.

6. Keep Perspective

While getting into a dream school is important, remind her that there are many paths to success. Whether she gets into her first-choice school or another one, it’s her talent, passion, and hard work that will ultimately determine her future. I’ve discussed this topic in several episodes of my podcast, Parents Navigating the Teen Years, where we’ve explored the college application process and the stress that we sometimes feel as parents with teenagers. One of the best insights from those conversations was the reminder that, while the journey may be challenging, it’s the qualities our children develop—like resilience, determination, and creativity—that truly shape their futures.

7. Celebrate the Small Wins

The college application process is long and arduous, with many steps along the way. Celebrating the small wins—completing a portfolio, submitting an essay, or finishing an application—can provide a much-needed morale boost and keep students motivated.

We try to encourage our daughter to acknowledge and celebrate each milestone, no matter how small. These moments of recognition can help maintain a positive outlook and remind her of the progress she is making. Whether it's a simple reward, like a favorite treat or a fun activity, taking time to celebrate achievements can make the journey more enjoyable.

8. Stay Open to New Possibilities

Finally, it's essential for students to stay open to new possibilities as they navigate the college application process. Sometimes, the path they envision isn't the one they end up on, and that's okay. In fact, unexpected opportunities can often lead to some of the most rewarding experiences.

We encourage our daughter to approach the process with flexibility and an open mind. While it’s important to have goals, it’s also important to remain adaptable and willing to explore different options. A school that wasn’t originally on her list might turn out to be the perfect fit, or a new opportunity might arise that leads her in an exciting new direction.

By staying open to possibilities, students can reduce the pressure they feel to follow a specific path and instead embrace the journey with curiosity and excitement.

Conclusion

The college application process is undoubtedly a challenging and stressful time for high school seniors, especially those pursuing specialized programs like Fine Arts. However, with the right mindset and strategies, students can navigate this journey with confidence and resilience.

By embracing the process as an opportunity for self-discovery, breaking it down into manageable steps, focusing on what they can control, seeking support, taking care of their well-being, keeping perspective, celebrating small wins, and staying open to new possibilities, students can reduce stress and approach the future with optimism.

As parents, our support and encouragement are invaluable during this time. By guiding our children through these strategies, we can help them not only survive the college application process but thrive in it—emerging stronger, more self-assured, and ready to take on the next exciting chapter of their lives.

Ed Gerety

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