You(r Staff) Are Not Okay

It is odd even thinking "Happy Monday," with the state of America as it is. We are in the midst of multiple layers of trauma and unrest. Because of this, I needed to send you a friendly reminder as you appreciate your new week. 

It is okay not to be okay. 

As we continue to adjust to virtual meetings galore and missing the touch of our family and friends - it is a lot. This weekend there were peaceful outcries requesting justice, alongside other events that high jacked the message of solely desiring change. If you have eyes, a TV, or a FB account it is impossible for you to ignore what is going on.

And do not forget about the graduations that you could not attend, or the birthday dinners that turned in to drive byes or brief Zoom calls. You are enduring a lot of change at once.

So, do not enter this week pretending as if it did not happen. Leading effectively starts with leading yourself with honesty and awareness. 

Speaking with some friends about fearing for their lives as they are being forced to return to work, I knew I needed to speak up. 

My #1 strategy for life, and especially during troubling times, is to "Celebrate & Grieve Everything." It gives us permission to honor our full experience. Without judgement, acknowledge every element of pain and triumph. Amid every dark moment there is indeed some finish line that I am sure you can cross. It may seem odd, but please, still choose to celebrate. 

As you approach this week you may want to consider: 

• MAKE NO ASSUMPTIONS. Everyone of your team members are having a different experience. Remembering the different levels of support, the varying outside obligations with family and other commitments can have anyone past their breaking point. They can also have had an amazing ride to work listening to their favorite song so their smile could mean that they are doing just fine. While one person is calling in for a Mental Health day as they may not have the strength to "deal," others may need to see their work family to know that they are okay, or get out of their home as they need a "break."
• "NOTHING IS OBVIOUS. Although it may seem obvious to consider your African-American, Black and Brown colleagues and staff, know that White allies and other nationalities and ethnic groups are feeling something too. Expecting people to be able to explain their feelings is a stretch, and if you are not equipped to have that conversation, consider bringing in an expert. Members of your team may or may not desire to communicate their feeling. Give space for each person to have their own experience. 
• HONEST ANSWERS are key. When asked about changes to policy, the COVID-19 virus, the stability of your business, or anything under the sun - be truthful. Guess what, confidently saying you do not know an answer is a perfect answer. Take note, get the highest level of truth, and get back to them ASAP, while taking note as the same question may come up again. 
• ADJUST EXPECTATIONS. As we are continuing to figure out this new world that we are co-creating, we must move in gratitude for what is occurring despite it all. Productivity may be lower than desired, or it may be better than ever before. Know that it could change at any moment given several factors so giving your team wiggle room is a gift that will positively influence all your stress levels. 
• EMOTIONS ARE A TOOL. Although we are generally told to leave our emotions at the door, please remember that our emotions are not hindrances but are instead messengers for what's going on inside of us. It's better to listen to the soft whisper than to find yourself snapping on a colleague or crying uncontrollably on a call. 
• ADJUST YOUR LEADERSHIP. Accept that it is impossible for you to have prepared for this moment, and there is no textbook to guide you on how you should show up in this moment. As your version of excellence shifts know that your needs, and the needs of your colleagues and staff are no longer the same therefore your normal go to strategies may not work. Take the time to figure out what works.
• GIVE EVERYONE GRACE. Taking a deep breath and expecting that everyone is doing their best will take you a long way as we all need a break. It is like we've been on a roller coaster ride for several months, and the operator will not let us off no matter how much we cry uncle. Be gentle with words, thoughts, and actions as they are all impacting you more than you can imagine. 
• GET TO WORK. Whatever that looks like, find a way to feed your passion by investing in a solution. Understanding that it may look different for you and each of your colleagues and staff, listen to ways that you can do something different. Beyond your norm, find ways to give from your overflow, use your hands and creativity in new ways. Now more than ever before, you need a release of satisfaction and accomplishment ... AND no, it is not selfish to give yourself what you need. To the contrary, it is self-full. 
• USE YOUR TOOLS. Although you may not have experienced anything to this degree, you have faced the unknown before. Remember what gave you the strength to get through obstacles of your past. You also may want to remember what helped your colleague as well, as they may not remember. 

In addition, use the tools from past trainings or webinars that you have taken regarding crisis management or emotional intelligence. If you have taken your Everything DiSC Workplace Assessment with me than go to page 6 to remind yourself of your Motivators & Stressors. Thereafter you will also be reminded of how to best engage with your colleagues based on their style.

Of course, this is just a guide - and who we are at our core most often still works. 

Lastly, I hope that you choose to get some fresh air, eat some yummy food, and find a way to experience joy. I know it sounds odd but fueling your joy muscle will help you get through the tough times. 

Wishing you and your team strength to not only get through it but to identify new ways to shine. I am sure you will surprise yourself, just as they will surprise you. 

With that said, let us remember that CHANGE IS INEVITABLE. Put on your gloves, and buckle up buttercup, as it is about to be an interesting ride. The quicker you accept that the easier your leadership journey will be.

1 More Thing.... Please know that I am rooting for you and our country. We will get through this... find the strength to believe and be the light for your team. They are depending on you! (and I am too!)

Make that 2 More Things - Whatever you do, PLEASE do not put your Black and Brown staff on display to be experts on all things unjust in the world. Not today, nor tomorrow... it's just not a good move. We can talk about equity on another day, but again - if it's not their role (and even if it is)... just not today. 

Peace, Love and Healthy Leadership to YOU! - Dr. AMS

Dr. Angela M. Shuttlesworth (Dr. AMS) is the founder of Be.Lead.Grow. and creator of the H.E.A.L.T.H.Y. Method. Developing strategies to tackle the complexities of team engagement, passion driven productivity and effective communication, she facilitates leadership retreats, keynote engagements with companies such as Boeing, non-profit organizations such as Legal Aide, YWCA and local government organizations such as Broward and Palm Beach Counties in Florida and DeKalb County, in Georgia as well.  Whether empowering these leaders to (re)discover and (re)align their personal mission and vision to their organizations’, or deal with effectively leading in the time of a storm through emotional intelligence, H.E.A.L.T.H.Y. approaches to racial & social equity, or understanding and combating compassion fatigue, DrAMS uses creative empowerment to help them reconnect with each other and the necessary work at hand.