Your Silence is Deafening

If you are a leader in an organization, I challenge you to read this in its entirety.

I wasn't expecting this to be the first article I wrote for my newsletter. However, if history has taught me anything...it is to trust your instincts.

Almost 2 years ago, I started to write an article about how news and video of Ahmaud Arbery's murder was likely impacting team members and companies should be responding accordingly. I didn't listen to the small still voice that said, "Speak up!". Instead, I rationalized it away. Maybe, it was fear. Fear of what would happen if I spoke up. Maybe, it was the thought that I was screaming into an abyss. The end result was that I didn't write it. I didn't know...none of us knew of the tragedy of that would soon follow with murder of George Floyd. In that moment, time stood still. For the first, I felt like the world was watching and took notice. It was not lost on me that it was likely due to the fact that COVID-19 was rampaging through the world. There wasn't much going on to "busy" it away. The main difference was that many people were forced to take stock and were sad, shocked and outraged. Unfortunately, for many people in the Black community, not surprised.

As a result of the murder of George Floyd, many people were speaking up and organizations hopped into action. We saw a wide range of responses from social media posts, financial commitments to the Black community, protests, and corporate commitments.

Less than two years later, we are grieving again. To be honest, we never stopped.

Since the murder of George Floyd, there have been additional tragedies that have plagued our community. This past weekend, 10 beautiful souls lives were tragically taken in an act of hate. They weren't caught up in a criminal act that took a turn for the worst. They were simply living. Their very existence was the catalyst for the tragedy. My heart is broken over this tragedy. I have read some of the stories of the people who were taken from their community. Many of them were pillars in the Buffalo community.

As society is starting to "normalize" in a post-pandemic world, I am aware that today has been "business as usual". Let me be very clear. It is not about black squares and company-wide meetings. It never was. The virtue signaling gestures have been played out for some time. Your black team members are likely functioning normally. We are going about our day as if last weekend was just another weekend. It's not new to us. Many of us have learned to compartmentalize and navigate our corporate lives accordingly. To be honest, sometimes it's actually easier to keep up the fa?ade. It can be exhausting trying to explain and justify our collective grief as a community. It is frustrating consistently being asked to inform and educate. I don't mind because it's part of my job. If you are leader, be mindful that your team member may not want to explain and educate you. There are more than enough resources available.

I recognize that there were several tragedies that occurred this weekend. It is hard to process the complexities of it all. All of them are equally horrible, hurtful and infuriating. The tragedy in Buffalo hits home for me as Black woman. As a black woman, life has made me keenly aware that my Blackness is on display first. It is seen before being a woman, a Christian, a wife, a mom, a sister, a creative, or even an executive in corporate America. My blackness has been an unofficial handshake of many encounters that have left me wondering where I fit in in this world. Where am I safe? Where are my family and friends safe?

I wrestle with the idea that I can't out learn, out earn or out run racism.

It's a lot. It can feel heavy. What's next? For your company? For leaders?

For organizations:

1. Check on your team members FIRST. Encourage leaders to check-in with their team members well being. Hopefully, checking in is a standard practice in your organization. After tragedies such as this weekend, be intentional on checking in and reaching out. It can be as simple as a phone call or message. No one wants to feel alone.
2. Assess what actions make sense for your organization. There doesn't need to be more programs and initiatives stood up. If the team members want to rally and support the impacted community, enable them to do so through ERGs or corporate giving.

For leaders:

1. Ask: Ask team members you engage with regularly how they are doing. If you haven't done so, it's not too late. Whether you reach out or not, you are technically responding. Don't try to force the conversation or pry. Allow the team member to drive the conversation.
2. Listen: Your role is to listen. Actively and deeply (Google Deep Listening).
3. Ask Again: There is likely not anything you can do to "fix" it. Resist the urge to explore and explain. The best response you can give is to ask them, "How can I support you?". If they say, "Nothing.", believe them. I usually additionally ask, "Do you need or would like some time away or space today?". I have found that sometimes team members are reluctant to ask for exactly what they need. My offering up for them to take care of their well-being, allows them to feel safe and support. For some, it may be moving a few meetings that are not urgent or taking an extended lunch to get some fresh air.

Last quick note and word of encouragement, if you are an individual contributor wondering where you fit in to this conversation. It's ok to check-in with your peers, too. Don't think that your gesture of offering support or an ear to listen matters any less than the leader checking in. It matters!

I hope that this helps at least one person. If the last couple of years has taught me anything, it has taught me that life is too short to play small. It's too short to chose silence instead of truth. I keep the unfinished, unpublished draft in my LinkedIn as a reminder to never choose silence. If this reaches one person, it will be worth it.

I will close with one question, in case no one has asked you recently...

How are you doing? Really?

Signed in service to all,

LCJ