Is your self-talk killing your confidence?

I know what's required when you're a leader.

I've been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt.

I went through the tough realisations, knockbacks, and struggles before making it to a leadership position in a global tech firm.

I was the one who found it hard to speak up.

I was the one whose face turned red and blotchy when she had to stand up and present.

I was the one who worried and fretted about what my boss thought, whether I’d said the right thing.

That sense of not being good enough.

Almost every single person on this earth participates in negative self-talk unless they consciously practice not doing it. It's that running commentary in our heads holding us back, putting us down and shaming us. It makes us think we are not worthy or that in some way we are not enough. The same inner critic that so often knocks our confidence, stops us from making the change and transformation we want for ourselves and locking us into the paralysis of fear instead. Sadly, most people never move past it.

My saboteur and negative self-talk prevented me from being comfortable, from finding my joy and from being my best self BUT I did manage to overcome it.

How mean is your self-talk?

Is it holding you back from having the impact you want as a leader?

Is it filling you with self-doubt?

Is it killing your confidence?

If so, here are some of the tips that have helped me silence my negative self-talk and may help you too:

Notice that you’re doing it

Firstly, you need to become aware that you're doing it. Train yourself to be mindful of your thoughts as well as your actions. Notice when it shows up and what triggers it. When you do notice that negative self-talk creeping in, write it down. Don’t be judgmental of your thoughts. Just write them down and notice how they make you feel.

Give your inner critic a name

Bring your inner critic to life and give it a name! It allows you to take a step back and separate yourself from your saboteur. And remember, you always have a choice over whether you listen to it or not!

Change the Script

Writing down and reviewing your negative thoughts will help you see them from a fresh perspective.?You'll begin to realise that your negative self-talk isn't true, or at least very harsh.?

Then you'll be able to rewrite the script so that each time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought you can reframe it and turn it into a positive affirmation instead.

This is a great thing to capture in a journal.

So as an example, if something you're working on didn't go as planned, instead of focusing on the negative, look for what you did well, even if it's a small thing.?You see sports people do this all the time, a golfer plays a bad round, but focuses on the shots that they played well.?(Note to self, I need to remember this for my next round ... !)

So, 'I didn't get the job and suck at interviews' becomes 'I have great skills and the right role is waiting for me'.

'I'm worried about tomorrow's presentation, what if I mess it up' becomes 'I am excited about tomorrow's presentation, I've prepared and I know it will go well'.

Start the day with positive affirmations

Writing down or saying out loud simple phrases such as, ‘I am good enough,’ ‘I am capable of achieving anything I want to,’ or 'I've got this!’ are all great ways to start the day. It gets you in a positive mindset and will boost your confidence. You can also write them down and stick them to your bathroom mirror or desk at home as a constant reminder to yourself!

If you want to combat your inner critic and supercharge your confidence and start leading with impact in a way that feels good to you, you can also join me in The IGNITE Bootcamp. It's a programme that will help you discover your strengths and enable you to move forward with purpose and passion. Plus when you join, you get access to 3 months of IGNITE membership too! Sign up here.