Is your ratio of time spent on work vs. personal all wrong?

I’m not the first to write to entrepreneurs and business executives about the time they spend on work versus personal matters. Is the ratio normal? Is it healthy? Does it matter? And how many of us associate personal time with the time spent scrolling TikTok or Facebook and eating dinner? We all find ourselves asking these questions, and for good reason. But while such self-reflection is important, I think the perspective through which we view it is problematic. Here’s a prescription for a new way to look at life through different lenses.

It won’t be balanced

The first issue is the way this topic is discussed. People throw around the term “work-life balance” as if it’s a concrete or even magical destination to be reached. But the reality is that there’s no perfect ratio of time spent working contrasted against time spent with those you love or time spent on self-care or pursuing hobbies. Given that full-time work consumes at least 40 hours each week, there are only roughly 55-60 waking hours left for everything else. Even if you tried to split your waking hours precisely down the middle, would it make sense for 50% of your time to be spent earning a living and the other 50% spent actually living?

The truth is that I’m not sure. But I don’t think this sort of issue is best sorted mathematically. Instead, recognize that the entire premise of “balance” is flawed. There will be times when you’re burning the midnight oil on a big project at work because it’s the chance of a lifetime, and you may miss a few family dinners or even one of your child’s concerts as a result. But there will also be seasons of life when you schedule a long vacation or, for one reason or another, have the freedom to show up more for your loved ones. The point is to stop aiming for balance. As long as you’re not neglecting your work or your non-work life, your ratio is probably fine.

The value of time blocking

Just because balance is a fantasy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be intentional with your time. The best method I’ve found to make sure I attend to priorities that deserve my attention is by time blocking. I have a rough schedule mapped out for a typical week that breaks down every day into two- to three-hour blocks of time. One of those blocks is dedicated to administrative work and communication (e.g., signing financial paperwork, emailing a client, texting a colleague about setting up a mentorship session, etc.). Another block is put aside for the work that requires concentration (e.g., creative brainstorming, business development, research, and so on). Yet another block is reserved for meetings. My team knows which blocks each day and week are available for internal meetings or meetings with clients, and they respect that.

Your time-blocked schedule needs to fit you, so adjust it however you like. But I recommend following this practice with your off-work hours, too, which is something many professionals forget to do. You may block out an hour after work as time to decompress before dinner with your spouse or for exercise. Once a week, you may decide to set aside time for things like deeper housework (e.g., cleaning out your fridge) or office-type work (scheduling kids’ dentist appointments or writing thank-you cards).

It’s even a good idea to block out a few hours for downtime, social media scrolling, or mindless Netflix binges. It might sound excessive, but the more — and more accurately — you time block, the more freedom you’ll actually have. You’ll have space for everything you need to do and won’t get sucked into overdoing it in one area and abandoning another. You’ll actually know where your time goes and how to adjust it if needed.

Tune in to your emotions

So if balance isn’t the goal, how do you know if you’re on the right track? There’s a pretty simple way: Listen to how you feel. If you find yourself grumbling through a project, get curious about why you’re so angry. Is it your employees’ fault for dropping the ball, or are you struggling to delegate? You might need to give up some control to get back some of your time.

Or, are you frustrated by your spouse’s repeated requests to pick up the kids, get groceries and make dinner? If so, you might be doing too much on the home front. Resentment and frustration are two major indicators that something in your life is askew, so dial into why you’re feeling the way you are. It shouldn’t take long to trace back to why they started or see how some small changes can likely address it.

It’s not easy to be both a professional and a regular person, whether you’re married with kids or single. But we have it within our power to invest meaningfully into all areas of our lives if we do so intentionally and with fair expectations. When we do that, we get the ratio right every time. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. What have you found to work well?

Jay Feitlinger is the Founder + CEO of StringCan Interactive , a strategy-first B2B growth marketing agency focusing on Healthcare, Manufacturing, and Business + Professional Services businesses.