Your Purpose is Unique to You, Search for it

Why? Why? WHY?

What’s the point? So much effort spent, and anxiety experienced in our lives. Often it doesn’t seem like it’s advancing your life in any way. It’s certainly unclear if anything will ever be worth it, especially when you are just getting started with something (new school, new country, new job, etc.). Why are we putting ourselves through all this? Did we choose it? OR is it expected of us? The worst feeling ever is when we put ourselves through something because of someone else’s expectations (Dad, Mom, society, etc.). Initially, especially early in our University and Professional lives, others’ expectations are often the reason we are even here. We are following the standard path of life in the 21st century.

My goal from this article is to help you drown out all the other noise in your life so you can listen more clearly to yourself, to get closer to your purpose. I’m breaking down the process as it happened for me, and I’ll caution that my take on purpose is only one data point that you should consider with other info you gather related to this topic.

Society

You are a part of it. If you are able, you need to contribute. There are people with disabilities who are not able, and a good society will look to take care of them. If you are able but don’t contribute, you will become disabled. You will watch other people surpass you with their achievements and recognitions, and it will affect your self-esteem negatively (to the point of disability in some cases).

I am a big sci-fi fan. Some of my favorites are Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica. These shows intrigue me not because of the futurism as much as the societal lessons they provide. If thousands of humans are on one ship together in the middle of space, that’s a society. They will have the same challenges as people on earth. Additionally, each needs to contribute as per their abilities, otherwise, the whole ship will fail. There is no escaping work, career, responsibilities if you are part of a society and are able. As you grow out of your home and leave your parents or caregivers, you will slowly but surely need to give back to the world (not just consume). You are part of society, and your purpose will be related to how you give back to it (through your work, career, lifelong mission). 

A note on Money: Wanting more money is a goal. It’s not a purpose. Confusing the two may lead to negative contributions to society (read about the Opioid crisis pharmaceutical companies created in the U.S.). It’s great to work and aspire to make more money (and you should). Ideally, it will be through positive contributions to society, and even more ideally, it’s aligned with your purpose. 

Experimentation

Follow your desires to discover what you like and what you are good at. Try to discover what you don’t like (often more important than discovering what you like) and what you are not good at (but need to get better at to develop your future). 

If you are studying Computer Science, it might be because you excelled at Math and Physics. If you are studying Business, it could be because you enjoy working with people. Sometimes, people study computer science or business because they think they should, not because their own desires led them there. It’s ok, regardless of which bucket you fall into. Here is what matters. 

You have been studying your whole life, and the workplace differs greatly from school. So regardless of what your major is, get as much work experience as you can during your university years. Get as much diverse social experience as you can. Go out! Even if you are not having fun in the beginning, do it. Experience it. Interact with others who are not like you. (but always, please remember to be safe and trust your gut if you get into an uncomfortable situation). Learn and grow from each experience. Push yourself with your job and career hopes. Get an internship, a co-op. Volunteer, work for free, or help a professor with a project. Do something work-related. 

Taking an extra class when you have an opportunity to work is more of the same. It won't meaningfully alter your resume. It rarely will be so insightful that you discover your purpose. When you work, you will get closer to the reality of what comes after you graduate. You will add meaningful experience to your resume. More importantly, it’s a great forcing mechanism to help you discover what you like and don’t like, and what you are good at vs. what you need to improve on. 

Here’s an example. I like telling stories using data. I don’t like pulling the data from the systems (using SQL, etc.) and I don’t need to learn it for the positions I aspire to. I like to pitch and sell my ideas; I don’t like to update my boss and others very frequently on our progress in detail (but I have to and need to learn to get good at it). I prefer selling to businesses because I believe I can enhance their operations. I only like selling to consumers if it improves their livelihood and the product is good for them (e.g., I’ll never work for a casino). I like having a team and being part of a team. I hate when I have to work at my desk all day. I want my job and my work to be about helping people improve their lives. I’m fairly certain I want to do that via creating services or digital products (vs. physical products). I want to work for an international company, with opportunities to travel and interact with people from many countries.

I’ve learned the above about myself through experimentation. It’s my story, you have your own to discover.

Treat the early part of your adult life and career as such, an experiment to discover yourself. If you are one of the lucky few that already knows what they want with high certainty, we are all envious of you! My Dad loved to paint and draw when he was younger (and was talented at it) which later evolved into a great career in Architecture. He was always certain of his path. For those of us who aren’t, experimentation is key.  

Benchmarking

This is about figuring out who you are when compared with others. What is the role you were meant to play? It's the final key to unlocking your purpose. Let me explain. 

You don’t control where you are born and who your parents are. You don’t control the circumstances in which you have grown up in. In the U.S., we say “those are the cards you were dealt”. This is your origin story. If you look at some of the most recognizable people in the world, it’s quite frequent that their origin story isn’t a great one. They have come from hardships and overcome several obstacles to achieve their goals and purpose. Look up Elon Musk as an example.

Others didn't have hardships growing up but had a unique qualification that affected their self-identity. Jeff Bezos and Steve Jobs were both adopted. You can find these stories everywhere. These circumstances were not chosen, they were dealt to them as a fact of life. As growing children, this led them to experiences and to asking unique questions about life that defined who they are. We all have our own unique origin stories that played a role in defining us. Your story, experiences, questions you asked of life are unique to you. More importantly, they are a clue to discovering what gives you your true energy. 

Purpose = True Energy. We talked a lot about what gives you energy, what takes energy away and making lists of those things. The activities that give you energy do so because of who you naturally are (your genes) and because of your origin story (the circumstances you experienced growing up). Experimentation will allow you to better define all the activities that give vs. take your energy. Benchmarking yourself to others will help you see which activities you uniquely excel at.

Each person has strengths in certain areas vs. others. If you play FIFA or any other video game with characters, they have indicators that define what strengths each character or player excels at. These strengths define what role they play in their team. So far, you have likely compared yourself academically, socially, and physically to others. You are likely good at one of those things (maybe more). But so far in your life, those areas you experienced are narrow compared with what’s out there in the world.

As a young adult just starting your career, the world opens up so much opportunity: many different roles, industries, disciplines, people skills, languages, countries to experience, etc. Guess what, you are not trapped anymore! What used to work for you or didn’t, doesn't matter now. There is a lot to explore, and as you progress on your adventure, you will discover your strengths, which activities allow you to use those strengths, and which activities you have more energy for.

The activities that allow you to use your strengths, and ones that give you energy, don’t necessarily overlap. For example, I like to play FIFA (gives me energy), but I get my ass kicked at the top levels (gaming is not my strength). When you discover your unique combination of strengths (based on your skills and experience) that also give you energy when you practice them (vs. consume it), you will be on the path to winning.

In terms of your career, maybe you love creating financial products for entrepreneurs in developing countries. Or you love finding investors for commercial developments. Might be you are interested in developing a service that incentivizes consumers to advertise products on social media. The key here is finding which path you have both strengths AND energy for, not which path you think is interesting or that you might like. Use liking something as a compass, to clue you in to where you might want to experiment, but don’t confuse it with where your purpose lies. 

Energy matters. If you can do an activity or pursue a goal or dream longer than anyone else is willing to, you will win. Even if others are more naturally skilled at a particular topic, if they don’t have energy for it, and you do, you will win. When you can find the things that give you energy, they are like your battery, they keep you going. Compare (benchmark) yourself to others to further narrow and understand what roles and activities you excel at.

Dennis Rodman (famous basketball player during the 90s) would average 27 points and 14 rebounds a game when he played competitively in university. He would score, and that’s what got him noticed by NBA teams. In an interview many years later he said: “I think the second or third year in the league (NBA), I actually figured out what I can do best – rebound and play defense. I just started learning how to perfect that.” That was the role he played with the Chicago Bulls, which led him to fame. Benchmarking himself to other NBA players helped him identify the role he would focus on.

Don’t get me wrong, you still have to work hard once you discover your purpose, but by then you will want to work hard for it. You must work on your self-limiting beliefs and fear, and you must develop new skills. You will need to translate your dreams and hopes into goals, because without goals, you are steering a ship with no destination. Your purpose will remain a dream. You have to take action. 

Remember that finding your purpose is a journey.

• Search for paths that contribute positively to society. 
• Experiment to discover your strengths and energy. 
• Benchmark yourself to your peers to validate that those strengths do help you stand out. 
• Look to your past for clues, talk to others who knew you then if it helps. Take your time if you need to. 

You are more naturally inclined to succeed somewhere, go for it and find where. Believe in yourself and have faith. Good luck!

My Challenge to You

1. Watch the Pale Blue Dot to get an enlightening perspective on where we fit in life
2. Watch this TED talk by Simon Sinek on how leaders can lead with WHY
3. Watch “How to discover your life purpose in 5 mins” by Adam Leipzig

Remember finding your WHY is a journey … reach out to me directly via LinkedIn if you would like to discuss how to get started

Let us know how you did by using #InternationalStudentHandbook #challenge28 #InternationalStudents.

Keep a lookout for more personal growth advice by following us on LinkedIn, or by checking out our International Student Handbook

Good luck with your job hunt!