Your purpose story: Connecting the past, present, and future

1.?Our story

Since the dawn of humanity, people shared stories and learned from stories. How can we understand our own story and build our purpose on it?

While writing my PhD on volunteerism and altruism in 2001, I encountered a young psychology scholar who was researching altruism and values. He was kind enough to spend time with me discussing some ideas. Years later, I reconnected with him on social media. He was already a professor, but as I went through his feed, I realised something horrible had happened. At 14, his son left for school, only to collapse in the street minutes later. Out of the blue, he passed away, and my colleague’s life was turned upside down. Facing every parent’s greatest dread, the bereaved parents spent the following years facing the tragedy and making sense of it. Using their son’s past and trying to impart meaning to their present, the professor and his wife thought about the future: they subsequently created an award for young scientists and, through a crowdfunding campaign, published the book he had written before he passed. Doing so gave them a sense of purpose through the positive impact they created in celebrating his life.?

2.?Connecting the past, present, and the future

Our past – where we come from, what happened to us, and what we have done– can define our purpose at present. Contemplating our journey without dwelling on the past so much that we are left immobilised is at the core of a meaningful life. Everything we have done to date, every experience, each courageous decision or fatal mistake, and all the people we have loved and connected with make us who we are today. Understanding our past and how it affects us can help us find our life purpose. People

Our present is based on our past, but we can decide what kind of person we want to be at any given moment in life. As Viktor Frankl said, this is the one freedom that no one can take away from us. We can decide to heal, forgive, and let go. We can choose to help others do the same. Or we can stay stuck. Dolly Parton once said, “Figure out who you are and do it on purpose”. I say: “Figure out who you are and do it for purpose”.

The future is also significant in setting our purpose. A vision of what is possible can change what the past and the present mean to us. Our future, including our goals, ambitions, dreams, and opportunities, can help shape our ‘why’ and subsequently help us endure any present ‘what’. Moreover, past and present events have their most profound meaning from their connection with future events. What has happened and even what is happening can only take their place in the narrative of our lives when we understand that they help shape what will happen.

3. Use your story for purpose

We all have a powerful story to share and use. When I read Tara Westover’s Educated about her upbringing in an extremist Mormon family, I realised that I also had a story to share, of which I hardly ever spoke. Only a handful of people knew that my brother died when I was three, that I grew up in a cult-like organisation, and that I had to go through so many obstacles to get to where I am today. I decided to share my story in my book, Make it Meaningful, but I didn’t want to just do it for the sake of storytelling. I wanted to use my story to help people find purpose in life and work. That gave me and my story a new context.

Writing my own story was unexpectedly liberating, and it helped me frame my purpose and impact. I strongly encourage people to write their stories, even if just over a few pages, and consider how their past, present, and future can help them find purpose and create an impact today.

What is your story? How can you use it for purpose?