Your potential does not diminish when someone else changes direction...

I recently received the news that a former colleague had moved on from their employer in less than ideal circumstances and certainly not in a way befitting their contribution, nor their incredible talent. It happens. It is sad for the individual when it does, an indicator of shift in culture for the organisation, and critically, something those 'left behind' notice, forcing them to re-evaluate their levels of trust and commitment to their employer.

I'll borrow a phrase from a peer Sarah Fox Okuma , "People say goodbye differently". It is a beautifully succinct way to consider the range of experiences employees have when they move on from an organisation. But what do you do when an organisation has 'said goodbye' to you in a way that is not befitting your contribution? Or you suspect that you no longer 'fit' and you are anticipating being told to move on?

Recognising this is a career transition many of us will encounter, here are a few tactics that might support you to navigate this moment.

Recognise the moment for what it is

Like any relationship, the only situations that positively sustain are ones where mutual benefit exists. You may once have been the most brilliantly talented employee your organisation has hired, but if for some reason what you bring is now not what is needed or wanted, you would do yourself a disservice by becoming a diminished version of you.

If you are on the receiving end of what feels like disproportionate behaviour, it almost always says something about the other party and very little about you. It would be easy to absorb that behaviour. Instead, consider the following coaching reflection:

You were playing football, really effectively. It seems like they wanted you to play rugby, even worse, I am not sure anyone told you. Do you want to play rugby? Or is now the right time to find a new football team you will excel with?

Be aware of how fear of 'endings' might be impacting you

Things coming to an end can be incredibly triggering for many of us, particularly if the ending feels initiated by the other party. It can nudge us to a place of considering fundamental questions of safety and worth, which is natural but something you should notice if you start to dwell.

Many of us also have an interesting relationship with 'quitting'. Sacrifice, enduring sub-optimal circumstances and persisting, are likely to have contributed to our successes to date. Rather than seeing 'quitting' as a dirty word, consider it an under-utilised skill that many (particular high achievers), can struggle to see the benefits of. Reframe 'endings' or 'quitting' as moving on to something that will ultimately better serve you:

What have you already endured? What are you willing to endure, and how does this benefit you? Is there a pursuit that if you threw this same level of persistence into, it would better serve you?

Moving on

Assuming moving on is inevitable either because the decision has been made for you or you recognise it is time to go and find that new football team, what are practical steps you can take to make moving on a positive transition?

1. Perspective on decision making - it is a common thinking error to inflate the size and criticality of decisions, making them feel bigger than they are and leading us down a path of stagnation. The only decision in life I have so far found to be permanent, is the one to have children. Everything else I have found I can change my mind, direction or evolve my original decision. Sizing your next decision appropriately will help you positively move on.
2. Reflect on your needs - we all have them. It is likely that in the process of something coming to an end, particularly when that ending was enforced upon you, that at least some of your needs have been compromised. I know that I need fun, learning and a sense of freedom to be at my best. I also need to spend time around good people working on things I feel something about. If you are struggling to answer the question "What needs to be there for you to be at your best?", take time to find that answer, it will support your decision making.
3. Reach out to your network - you will quickly identify that within your network is a smaller circle of people who are generous with their time, advice and support. You might be surprised by who some of those individuals are and the opportunities that result from taking the step to reach out.

If you have found yourself at this crossroads and need someone to support and challenge you to make moving on a positive experience, then do not hesitate to get in touch.