Your post got 3 likes. Will you still post tomorrow? ??
Hey, {{ subscriber.first_name }}! As promised last time, I wanted to write a grand summary of "the psychology of online presence" - but realized that it's an ocean of content to write. Therefore I'll start with a tiny question today: imagine you made a post on one of your social media platforms, and you got 3 likes. Would you still show up the next day? Why or why not? How would you feel?
I've been asked this question many times, and I've asked myself this question in the past week, because of my Instagram performance. If you know my approach, my answer will never be "Survey your audience to know what they like to read!" or "Ask Instagram insiders about their algorithm change!" - but it is only and entirely, focused on your internal experiences. Read along ??
Personal story
I returned from the Bosnia Nomad Fest a week ago, and there's a cloud of melancholy above me.
Why? I was so happy and energetic there to have discovered new horizons. I was equally happy and energetic upon returning to Berlin, to cook with my familiar ingredients, meet my trusted friends, and enjoy long periods of deep work. But I did start to reflect on my life priorities - and they have undoubtedly shifted. How? I don't even know yet. I just felt that something was different, and it's reflected in my feelings of melancholy.
One of the contributing factors - or results, who knows - was my Instagram performance.
If you check my recent posts on Instagram, you will see a random happy traveling reel on the ski lift, followed by a reel summarizing my experiences at the Bosnia Nomad Fest, which both got way higher view counts than my follower counts. You will see a few text-based carousels, and one photo + long caption, that had 20+ likes and quite a few comments each.
Then you will see my mission statement post and my self-introduction reel - both posts I'm quite proud of, and I've been thinking about doing for a long time to pin to the top of my profile - that got less than 10 likes each. The last post, a reel about the song "Don't Look Back in Anger", the caption of which I also wrote with my heart and soul - got 3 likes.
Personal development
Naturally and humanly, I asked myself the question "Why?"
I don't think the posts that got fewer likes were of lower quality. I tried to come up with reasons: Maybe after two reels with suddenly higher views, Instagram was balancing out my exposure by hiding my next posts? Maybe after all people preferred fun, light, travely content more, than deep-thinking content with a call to action of working with me? Maybe I was posting too much, and posting less will get me more likes on each post? ...
It did affect my behaviors on Instagram. I was spending less time on it, because I lacked the dopamine boost when I opened the app and expected certain amounts of likes. I was engaging with others less, because I already felt watched in a negative light. I was posting fewer stories, because I didn't want to be seen as desperate.
I felt ashamed. I imagined that others must judge me quite harshly, or laugh at me behind my back. I questioned the point of me showing up on social media, if no one is enjoying the content I poured out with my heart and soul anyway.
-
Have you ever felt the same?
I've had clients who felt the same, when their reels got 2.000 views.
I've had an audience who felt the same, when they had a private profile with no picture of their own face.
Hell, I've felt the same, when some of my LinkedIn posts got 10 likes.
Do you see a pattern now? Actually, the number does not matter. The feeling of shame, and the blockage of motivation going forward, can be induced by 0, 3, 10, or 2.000.
It's how we interpret these numbers, coming from the outside, about our self-worth; often, with a baseline expectation set from the past.
When I got a LinkedIn average post likes of 30, then it dropped to 10, with no reasons I could explain: I didn't feel well for a few days.
When my audience had no online presence at all, and seeing all the influencers sharing their shiny life that they thought they didn't have: the idea of opening Instagram was already dreading.
When my client had 200k+ views on their reels before, and then saw it drop to 1% of how it was: they felt that maybe Instagram just doesn't work for them.
And when I got 3 likes on my Instagram post this time... I caught myself having these familiar feelings, and decided to write about it. ??
Personal branding
Meanwhile, my client has 20k+ followers on Instagram: a number that many dream of even after years of daily content.
Meanwhile, my audience expresses themselves so comfortably in a small group of people, that they make connections almost effortlessly.
Meanwhile, I've been asked by a fellow coach-solopreneur "LinkedIn must have been working very well for you right?"
-
All numbers are relative. All perceptions are relative.
领英推荐
And the numbers we receive on social media - from the outside, namely other people's reactions and the algorithm - are only the tip of the iceberg.
The fellow coach-solopreneur who asked me if LinkedIn worked super well for me, has half the follower count of mine, but has more clients.
My mission statement post on Instagram, which got 6 likes in total (one of which from myself), got a message from a friend in college with whom I was not in touch for years. They asked me detailed questions on personal empowerment and starting their own business - and turned out that they were reading my posts on LinkedIn for quite a while, but I was completely unaware because they never reacted.
I know people who started making 6 figures from Instagram, when they had 3.000 followers.
What's the catch? Your follower count, like count, reels views... is only a skewed description of what's actually happening behind the scenes - the full picture of which, you might not even see yourself.
-
So, your post got 3 likes. Will you still post tomorrow?
The actual question I have for you here is: are you posting for others, or for yourself?
Does your motivation come from the outside, or the inside?
If you've been conditioned to post for others - for your "target audience" - and conditioned to optimize your content for likes, views, and the hottest new updates of the algorithm: it's totally normal and understandable, because most people are like this (and that's why most people are consuming content way more than producing content, most content creators give up after a year, etc).
But why do I encourage you to reflect on your inner process?
Because after all, posting for others motivated by external validations, is not sustainable.
Other people change. The algorithm changes (a lot). While you're able to learn and adapt, they're still totally out of your control.
What is in your control?
Your decision, whether to people-please, or dare to be different.
Whether to let your emotions go on a rollercoaster because of like counts, or align your emotions stably with your inner reality.
Whether to treat your personal brand as a short-term money-generator no different from your 9-5 jobs, or a lifelong commitment that you do for your own sake, for the needs of your self-expression.
Which decision is better? Well, I'm not in a position to tell you what to do...
I can only tell you, that in the stock market, long-term investors often outperform day traders.
I can only tell you, why do people like Donald Trump get so much attention? Because too many people with good values are too rule-abiding, and they became boring for the audience.
I can only tell you, that in the world today with so much information, being carbon copies of "successful examples", or saying only what you thought people wanted you to say, is becoming increasingly a liability.
So, what's your choice? ??
How about you?
Your post got 3 likes. Will you still post tomorrow? ??
YES ?? Likely, but maybe I adjust my content ?? Not sure ?? Likely not, but if I have content in stock I might ?? No way
Last week's poll results:
Which parallel universe do you live in?
My location ?? My language / culture / nationality ?? My profession ?? My lifestyle ?? 100% I travel across universes and I create my own universe
As of now, I'm enjoying the writing process of psychology behind social media and online presence a lot. Tell me if you're enjoying it too, and what do you want to see specifically - it might just be the topic for next week ??