But Is Your Perception Reality?

But Is Your Perception Reality?

What if your perception is wrong?

Writing this in a cooler temperature, it's hard to believe that the UK and most of Europe was sweltering just one week ago.

Just one week ago it was 38°C (100°F) at 3pm here in London. But my Springer Spaniel didn't understand that. He wanted to go to the park. He was desperate. It was 3pm!

Perception

As we were walking back from the park, a woman called out to me from the middle of the road. In fact, she went out of her way to stop me to share her perception of what she saw.

'Don't you know that dogs can burn their paws in 38°C heat? You're so selfish!'

I replied, 'He wanted a poo.'

Accusingly she replied, 'You're so selfish!' as she judgementally stormed off.

[I know, I know. Last newsletter pee, this one poo, but I have a point! ??]

Reality

As an Australian, I know a lot about hot weather. I have memories of burning my legs on vinyl seats as a kid! I know the sun can heat things, including pavements, to the point where you can fry an egg on them. But just by looking at me you can't tell that I am an Australian. Until we speak, nor can you know that I am someone who truly understands.

Before we left, I contemplated keeping Banjo here in our slightly-cooler home but he was in distress. Think about the last time you needed a toilet urgently and couldn't get to one. Now consider explaining to a dog, 'Sorry, you will have to wait. It's 38°C out!'

In a predicament, I chose to take him out briefly. Just long enough for him to do his business. As much as possible we avoided the hot pavement, stayed in the shade, and walked on the grass. About 10 minutes later, we turned to head home. I was relieved to get us out of the heat, and the smoke coming from the Wennington, Slade Green & Dartford fires. ??

Ironically, I'd just said to Banjo, 'Right, which is the safest way back?' when I was met with the unfounded accusations, because what she failed to see was:

  • the concern I had for him as I raced us across hot pavements, and so on.
  • my cap - would someone who invested in a cap for charity, that states 'Make Humanity Great Again', let their dog fry?
  • my avoiding the ever present glass that can cut his paws, the grass seeds that can embed in his ears leading to surgery, and the chicken bones he can choke on.

Sticks & stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!

Rubbish. People calling you things that are unwarranted (which really only serves to show you how they see themselves) riles and names can certainly hurt, whether we want them to or not.

People making judgements, without knowing the full facts, is all too common. And ultimately we have no control over what other people think about us, and, of course, trying to please everyone is pointless... so why am I going on about this?

Because my mind keeps making a correlation between how I seemed and the truth, and the job we do as recruiters.

Judgement

Day in, day out, we make snap decisions based on someone's ability to write a CV or LinkedIn profile.

And what if that perception is wrong? What aren't we seeing? What don't we know?

Day in, day out, we make snap decisions based on the information we gained in the intake strategy session. (See Chapter 5 - Edition 2 is out next week! ??)

And what if our perception of the role is wrong? What if what we are thinking the hiring manager wants, isn't what they want at all?

Dig deeper

I know you're time poor. I know you've too many roles. I know [insert your reason].

But you will have far more success if you either stopped or reduced taking things at face value and dug deeper. More open questions. More willingness to be vulnerable. More asking the questions that feel stupid, which lead to more understanding. More being the curious toddler who asks until they understand.

Dig, dig, dig.

Question your reactions. Question your thinking. Question your perception.

Don't be like the person who called me selfish. Be the person who looks for evidence that their perception is reality.


P.S.?If this got you thinking or surprised you, check out?The Collective, a coaching & mentoring space I lead for recruiters. It's for those who want a safe place amongst peers to improve their hiring manager relationships & candidate experience. We brainstorm real-life scenarios and this is just a taster of what you'll experience!


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Originally published on KatrinaCollier.com

Philip Marks ??

#ThePostgresRecruiter ??

2 年

It really shouldn't take long before we know what hiring managers want, but we should also develop an ability to know what hiring managers 'need' as well as what they can get. I hope the poor stranger is better now??

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Nuno Lopes

Talent Acquisition @ Hyperscience (h[s])

2 年

Some people are very quick to judge/criticise. Basic rule in recruitment (and life): "Never assume."

Richmond Stace

?? multidisciplinary chronic pain specialist ?? pain coaching founder ?? mission: to transform care for chronic pain ?? pain coach mentoring for clinicians ??? author

2 年

Enjoyed your insights. Fascinating how people behave. Of course you can’t control what others do, only how you respond. Behind her words there is a belief and a need. I wonder what experiences she has had and how her thinking has been conditioned such that the only conclusion she could make was the one she expressed ??? And I wonder if she will update her model of the world or strengthen the existing one? Will probably never know! Meanwhile, your dog will need a poo and a walk, even if it’s hot. And as you know well, if he didn’t want to walk on something, he would let you know ??. Also, you reflected, which often means some learning. We can hope the lady also reflected to bring some flexibility back into her systems to create better experiences (predictions about the world). ??

Roderick Lambert

Take ?????? off your tummy in ?? ???????????? (guaranteed, 0 pills required) | Look??sharp (again) | Weight loss for 40-60 year-olds | No calorie counting, hunger, hours in the gym | DM me to start today

2 年

And on social media it's even worse Katrina Collier ! Do you think this kind of snap judging is spreading from social media into real life? Dig, dig, dig = Power(ful) Listening! We did a short podcast interview on that topic, didn't we Katrina ? :-)

Clare Wight

?Expert accountancy recruiter ?Solves hiring problems ?Challenges businesses to hire better ?Founder of SME Monthly digest ?Active in my industry

2 年

You're never fully dressed without your no-BS shield up.

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