If your overwhelm was a cup of tea, what solutions would there be?

Happy Brew Monday – which is the Samaritans counter movement to blue Monday – which feels much better don’t you think?

Brew Monday had me wondering about using the metaphor of a cup of tea to help you find alternate perspectives to a situation you’re feeling overwhelmed about and would love to know what to do differently – which is why you’re getting a newsletter a little earlier than scheduled.

That is, what would happen if you likened the situation you’re feeling overwhelmed about to a cup of tea—i.e. What solutions might emerge?

I’m using creative thinking in the form of a metaphor, that cup of tea, to help shift your thinking because often it’s your logical thinking that’s got stuck on overwhelm and needs a nudge to get out of it.

Remembering that the Landscaping Your Life techniques are great if you’re struggling with a problem, have tried more traditional problem-solving techniques, have even thrown logical thinking at it, and still come up blank, and are open to trying something a little different?

As always, this will make much more sense if you think about a situation you’re grappling with before reading further—i.e. have something you can apply the following metaphors and patterns to? Don’t worry; I do give you some examples to give you a sense of the possible.

I’d love to know how you get on.

With much love,

Alison xx

A general demonstration of the process

Just to give you a sense of what I’m suggesting, here are two quick examples: one is a general problem and the other is an unresourceful feeling:

For example, if my problem is getting more attention on my Landscaping Your Life YouTube channel then insight I might get from it being like a cup of tea would be:

• Not everyone likes tea so I may need to add in herbal options or even coffee ie switch my content about a little
• Tea tastes disgusting if stewed for too long so how do I ensure I’m hitting the right length of video or perhaps it’s about providing something new
• Herbal teas are an acquired taste and yet over time people can really grow to like them – i.e. so we often start with fruit teas and work up to greener one – so perhaps I shouldn’t jump straight in with my wackiest ideas first

If my challenge is a feeling, such as the January blues, how do I learn from Brew Monday and apply it to Blue Monday?

• Noticing the language I am using and choosing to use resourceful words that support what I want not unhelpful ones that remind me what I don’t want
• Having time out for a cuppa and some me time
• Having a chat with someone else – remembering it doesn’t have to be about the situation I could chat about a favourite TV programme, film, book, holiday or memory (In Headtorch mental health training we ask about tremendous times by way of shifting how we’re feeling).

If you’re still not sure about using metaphor, here’s a video about why metaphor can be more helpful than logic at solving problems.

With these examples in mind here are a few pointers about using metaphor - with my own ideas about reducing overwhelm added at the end of the post after you’ve made your own connections to the patterns of making tea.

Basic principles when using metaphor

See below for my starter for ten of patterns associated with cups of tea and tea making that you can apply to your situation.

After using metaphor to solve problems for 25 years I’ve discovered that the patterns seen in a metaphor are always in the eye of the beholder, and you may already therefore be ahead of me and have thought of something about a cup of tea or tea making that helps provides insight to a problem you’re struggling with.

Please note: it’s often better to stick with the metaphor for as long as possible and only relate it to the situation at the end – so have a read of these patterns – add to them – go off at tangents - and then once you’ve done that, have a think about what insight has come to your mind about your situation (laughter is often a great sign that you’re on to something).

Some suggestions of patterns of tea making you could apply to the overwhelm or problem you’re grappling with

• There are loads of alternatives to tea – coffee, hot chocolate (my favourite), hot or cold water, cold drinks and the like
• There are lots of options or alternatives to cups – not least a mug, glass or tumbler

Unless these first two suggestions resonate there’s an assumption that your current cuppa isn’t to your liking and something in the following will provide insight about changes you could make in order to make it the perfect cuppa!

• There’s a plethora of different teas – traditional or herbal – from all over the world - with some requiring acclimatisation to over time
• You may not have a tea plantation in your back garden but herbal teas just need you to take a cutting from a plant and immerse it in water
• Some people prefer adding milk, sugar, honey, ginger, a slice of lemon etc to make it palatable for them
• This reminds me of the age-old question of whether you put the milk or tea in the cup first!!
• Some teas taste better not having boiled water poured on them – others absolutely need the water that hot
• There’s an optimal steep time for each type of tea – i.e. not all teas are the same – and it’s also down to personal preference
• Weak or strong tea is a combination of tea, steep time and the amount of milk added
• Even the options of shape of teabags seem to be increasing with every passing month
• Traditional loose-leaf tea is better when you use a teapot (or is it?)

I won’t, but could go off at a tangent about finding a teapot that doesn’t dribble and the best types of teapot! And about the different types of tea strainer (and their relative effectiveness).

• “One for the pot” is a great saying about adding a tea bag for the pot on top of 1 tea bag per person
• Adding cold water to the cup may allow people to start drinking sooner (I know that’s a must for me otherwise I have to wait 10 minutes before I can start drinking)
• Who are you drinking your cuppa with – alone with a book or with a gaggle of friends
• And so on

What other patterns have come to mind for you? And how can your noticing be applied as insight into the original situation you wanted a different perspective about?

My personal insight from these patterns applied to my own overwhelm

And in case it helps here are three insights I took away that I can apply to a situation I'm feeling overwhelmed about:

• It feels like I'm stewing my tea - which reminds me to not overthink what I'm doing for days and days and just get on with doing something - as Michael Neill has said on this year's 'Creating The Impossible' programme - it's about the subtle art of trying sh*t!
• Adding cold water might help stop the tea from scalding me - which reminds me to do things that support my well-being to calm down and absorb the adrenaline and anxiety - such as cold water swimming. In other words, how can I do more of what usually works – the new economics foundation’s five ways of wellbeing that we use on Headtorch mental health at work workshops is a great place to start.
• And as I thought about using loose leaf rather than using tea bags my whole body relaxed and whilst I can't tell you why the overwhelm has reduced it just has (such a great example that sometimes we don't need to logically make sense of the metaphor our body and creative side just does what it needs to do to shift our thinking/feeling)

Post Script: Sorry, one more pattern I’ve just realised, perhaps it’s about having a sort out of my tea cupboard and removing any that are well past their use-by date – now that really would sort out the overwhelm if everything was tidy and not cluttered!

I'd love to know how you got on.