Your Nervous System Runs Your Life (Even if you’re Musk).

It doesn’t matter who you are, there is one fact you can’t escape: you are human.?

And that means your Nervous System runs your life - for better or for worse. No exceptions.?

It also means that it runs everyone else’s life. No exceptions (and even when you want to hate them).?

There have been a few high profile humans who have been in crisis mode lately and what they’ve been doing in crisis mode really p*$$ed me off and I started to react - like so many others are.?

And then I remembered I want to be a part of the solution and not the problem.?

That if I was going to honour this commitment, then I had to find a way to show the same compassion to this easy to judge, far removed figurehead as I would my clients, my friends…. my family.?

Burnout and the nervous system never fail to provide that path to compassion. Because in the wise words of Peggy Mason…

“...the misdeeds of the nervous system affect them (people), altering their selves and their relationships in ways that no other organ system can do.”?

So as millions of us clamour for a new way of living and working that puts our wellbeing at the epicentre, let’s level set on some (admittedly oversimplified) basics:

Everyone has a Central Nervous System (your brain and your spinal cord) and a Peripheral Nervous System (all the nerves outside the brain and spinal cord).

Now, these two are chatting away and collaborating - 24/7/365 - to make sure that all of our bits and pieces function.?

These bits and pieces can be broken down into four buckets: perception, voluntary movement, homeostasis, and abstract or higher function.?

These forces combined = individual wellbeing.

When we have disturbances in any or multiple of these buckets, wellbeing = not so hot and this comes with a host of mental, physical and social consequences.?

And it’s tricky because disturbances can come in a variety of forms:?

• Genetic?
• Aftermath of an infection?
• Trauma, injury and other diseases?
• Unhealthy lifestyle and stress?

Some of this is entirely out of individual control. Some of it isn’t (I am looking at you unhealthy lifestyle and stress!).?

You can ignore science all you want, but unsupported nervous systems ARE out there creating large and small scale chaos on the regular!?

Just ask the villain du jour: Elon Musk.?

Unless you've been living under a rock, you will have heard that Musk recently bought Twitter.

He tried to back out - but wasn’t allowed to - because he felt he had been misled on the number of users.?

It wasn’t an amazingly healthy start to the relationship.?

He’s made some swift and interestingly communicated decisions and there are loads of people - all over the world - weighing in on it (mostly with disgust and hate).?

Which I get, because this is how humans have responded to these scenarios for millenia… but what about the research??

It absolutely abounds where burnout is concerned.?

So, why do we find it so hard to see this for what it is and offer healthy intervention and compassion??

Is it possibly because we don’t know how to protect and contain our nervous systems either??

You see where I am going here??

It’s a wicked vicious cycle that keeps us from asking and then taking committed action on the tough questions like:?

Why are the systems still in place the set leader after leader up for this scenario (and with the folks they lead feeling the consequences of it in their daily lives)??

Why isn’t every kid taught how to protect and support their nervous system and then given opportunities to practise those skills with the same level of tenacity and celebration as they get for academic and athletic achievement??

If we really want things to change we have to accept that burnout emerges when the demands of any role outstrip a person’s ability to cope with the stress.

We have to accept that even super wealthy, powerful and influential people are still human and still (and rather shockingly) poorly trained when it comes to protecting and containing their nervous system.?

That until we figure this out as a society this is going to keep happening and participating in the fighting and hatred isn’t going to change anyone’s behaviour.?

We can put this into practice by stepping back from our emotions and finding common ground:?

• Musk is openly Autistic (that comes with some additional nervous system considerations)
• He has admitted that he isn’t sleeping (this will depleted his cognitive function and ability to emotionally regulate. Full stop.)
• Photos of his bedside table indicate that his diet may be less than balanced (which has physiological implications).
• He’s carrying more stress than the average bear (and has been for a very long time):?
• CEO of 2 x Billion dollar companies before buying Twitter?
• Frustrated and angry Tesla investors (he sold $20M in shares to buy Twitter)
• In billions of debt
• Twitter is not in healthy business shape?
• He’s being trolled by millions of people online daily?
• His personal relationships are strained/failing?

Now, I would invite you to take a moment and really feel into that.?

The weight of BILLIONS of dollars in debt.?

At the helm of a business that isn’t presenting a path to paying it back.

Everyone is angry with you. All the time.

Judging you, publicly.?

Scrutinising and weighing in on everything you say and do.?

You have alienated your family for your work and now you feel like you are failing.?

You don’t know who to trust.?

You are in fight mode. All day. Everyday.

Sit with that for minute.?

Is your heart beating faster??

Does your face feel red??

Have you clenched your jaw or your fists??

Maybe there is tension in your shoulders??

How do you feel?

How might that impact the decisions you make??

None of what I am saying or asking you to feel is meant to offer a free pass for harmful or damaging behaviour.?

In fact, my true hope is that we develop an accessible common language - based on our shared humanity - that breaks down the barriers for even the least likely candidates to have the required tough conversations with acceptance, compassion and committed action.?

So where do we go from here??

I won’t pretend to have all the answers (or that I have a continuously well supported and contained nervous system).?

No one is perfect.?

What I will say is that we all have a choice right now (especially those of us with relevant training).?

We can either:?

A. Keep doing things the way we’ve always done ‘em and then act enraged when leaders succumb to their own human limitations?

B. Get to know the nuance of our shared equipment better and let that inform how we reinvent the systems that run society and how we show up each and every day as we do?

I choose the latter. Will you #leadtheway with me??