Are Your Neighbours Friends or Foes?

I’m writing this on the eve of having said goodbye to my neighbours, who's home I recently sold. I’m not going to lie—it was a tearful farewell because they weren’t just neighbours; they had become friends.

For over 20 years, we shared chit-chat over the fence, supported each other through the ups and downs of life and parenting, and every now and again, we would share a glass of wine on the front porch. We respected each other and the boundaries that worked for us both—we weren’t in each other’s homes every day or even every week. We rarely crossed the threshold. Sometimes, we just waved, too rushed to say hello. It was a comfortable rhythm that worked for us, and saying goodbye was hard.

This isn’t always the case, though. Over the years, I’ve heard my fair share of horror stories from clients who didn’t share the same experience. This can especially happen when there’s a lot of turnaround in a neighbourhood. You might start off with amazing neighbours, but when they move away, you may not jive with the new ones who take their place.

It’s a roll of the dice—sometimes you win big, and sometimes, well, you don’t. The dynamics can shift quickly, and what was once a peaceful and friendly environment can feel unfamiliar and even uncomfortable. We’ve been very lucky, though. Not only did we have the best neighbours, but we also have an amazing neighbourhood complete with our own group chat so we can all look out for each other. It’s a true community where everyone has each other’s backs, and that’s something rare and special.

My parents had the same luck—they lived in the same house for over 45 years and had the best neighbours, too. When my mom passed away and my father moved into our home and neighbourhood, he fit right in. In fact, he knew more of the neighbours than I did! It’s these kinds of connections that make a house feel like home.

So, how can you prevent ending up with not-so-friendly neighbours? The truth is, you can’t guarantee it. We all have different values, lifestyles, and habits. But what you can do when shopping for a new home is to investigate the neighbourhood thoroughly.

Here are some tips that might save you from future headaches:

1. Take a Second Look (At Different Times of Day):

If the first time you saw your dream home was in the evening, make sure to go back during the day. The vibe of a neighbourhood can change dramatically with the time of day. Notice how the area feels when it's buzzing with activity versus when it’s quieter.

2. Get Out and Walk Around:

Don’t just drive through the neighbourhood—park your car and take a stroll. If possible, do this on a weekend when people are more likely to be outside, mowing their lawns or gardening. This gives you a chance to observe the community in action. Say hello, strike up a conversation if you can. You’d be surprised what a simple chat can reveal.

3. Check Out the Local Spots:

Visit the local parks, schoolyards, and shops. Who’s hanging around? What’s the vibe? Are the store clerks friendly? Do they seem to know their regular customers? These small details can give you insight into whether the community is close-knit and welcoming.

4. Observe the Yards and Driveways:

Pay attention to the condition of the homes around you. Are the yards well-kept? How many cars are packed into the driveways? A well-maintained neighbourhood often indicates pride of ownership and a sense of community.

5. Attend Local Events:

If time allows, attend a local event—anything from a community fair to a farmers' market. This is an excellent way to see how the neighbourhood comes together. It also gives you a feel for the type of activities that are common in the area.

6. Talk to Potential Neighbours:

If you get the chance, talk to the people living on the same street or even next door. Ask about their experience living in the neighbourhood. Most people are happy to share, and their insights can be invaluable. So, before you sign on the dotted line, do that walkabout and say hello to your potential new neighbours. You never know; you might just find yourself joining a community that feels like family.

Choosing the right neighbourhood is about more than just finding the perfect house. It’s about ensuring that the community around you will enhance your lifestyle and bring you peace of mind. So, take your time, do your homework, and trust your gut. You might just find not only your dream home but also a community of friends waiting for you.

Have you ever had an experience—good or bad—with neighbours? Share your story; I’d love to hear it!