Your mouth works faster than mind when you are angry

I was watching a documentary about the life of long-term prisoners in a jail. Some well educated, calm looking prisoners were interviewed. All of them were on life-term for murder, most of them had been there behind the bars, aloof, and miserable, for decades. The saddest and the common thing about all of them was that when asked about their crime, most of them said: ‘I committed a murder in a fit of rage, and regret my act since the moment I committed it.’ None of them was a criminal by nature; they were victims of anger.

Anger destroys lives; it creates demons out of gentlemen. Never make a quick decision when angry. The first thing I do depends on my level of anger. I remain silent, stay away from everyone, because I know I will shout. I hurt my loved ones. Its mostly my Mom who will come and try to make me better, and I start shouting at her. She knows me well, so she won’t take it much to heart. I stay away from the rest, because I don’t want to pour words on them. I am called as Angry Bird and Rakshasis(Devil) for the way I shout and appear(my face looks like a scary devil) when I am angry(all my sweetness disappear). If my anger level reaches its peak, I start crying. I am trying to control my anger these days by remaining silent. I arrest myself in a room. I asked my Mom not to talk to me when I am angry, as I don’t want to hurt her. Hopefully I get rid of my anger soon.

Anger is a terrible feeling to experience, but it’s not as complicated as many think: when you become angry, your “fight or flight” response has been triggered. Someone has said or done something that is extremely incendiary that fires shots across the bow of the S.S. Esteem, your boundary boat—and it’s really obvious. This has an immediate psychological effect, but it is also physical: you feel the blood rush to your brain and your hands get shaky from adrenaline overload. It’s like being tamed. Anger is a result of your mind and body telling you that you or someone you love are in danger.

When you’re angry, it’s impossible to think rightly, so …the first thing I do when I’m angry is shut up (if humanly possible) and separate myself from the person who summoned it. I highly recommend this, because if you don’t, you could end up doing something dumb that hurts you, like jumping out of a moving vehicle. Then I place myself in solitude and wait for the adrenaline rush to subside. I revisit the angering incident in my mind and parse through it logically. Intent is key. Did someone intend to hurt or offend me? No? Maybe? Unclear? Okay … maybe I need to sit on this for a while. Yes, damned straight they did. Yeah, no wonder I feel like smashing the peanut butter jar on the floor.

If it’s a clear-cut damned straight, I often communicate my anger to the other person and attempt a dialogue. Most often what made me angry is something that I can get over; sometimes, however, it is not. If the person apologizes and makes amends, we’ll eventually be good. But that apology better be forthcoming, man. If they don’t show contrition and instead make me accountable for their shitty behavior, I know that I’m dealing with a perfect, exquisite little asshole. With malice on the side. Hit them hard. Really—? Good-bye. I will unload, and I’ll probably be quite mean about it.

I have a long tether and have been incoherently angry a handful of times in my life. Each was for an extraordinarily good reason, and only once did I really explode. It has always made me feel terrible for a while. But I forgave myself, because I know myself, and I trust my judgment. Trusting one’s judgment is vital: you must know which battles are worth fighting. Most of the time, people don’t mean to make you angry. But there are those whose existence seems to solely and quite obliviously revolve around inspiring maximum fury, blowing up relationships and friendships, and refusing to express contrition.

Take a Cold Shower Every Morning. Cold showers suck specially in winters. Forcing yourself to endure the icy blast of a cold shower first thing in the morning requires discipline and a high threshold for pain. They’re not easy, they’re not fun, and they’re not comfortable. So do them. Even if it’s just for 30 seconds. Start your day off by forcing yourself to endure acute stress and overcome the desire for a warm and easy shower. It will be hard. But it will build discipline like nothing else. Meditate for 10 Minutes a Day. Meditation might seem like an odd way to build discipline. After all, you just have to sit on your butt and think about nothing right? Well, not exactly… Meditation requires you to discipline your thoughts.

To clear your mind, center your body, and reconnect with your breath. Meditation helps you clear out the mental clutter and allows you to reconnect with yourself. And it’s harder than you think. Sitting and thinking about nothing but your breath requires tremendous discipline and focus. I promise you that if you are willing to give this a go for 30 days, you will increase your discipline and will power in surprising ways.

Begin Your Day with 100 Push-ups or a 1-mile run or jog. 100 push-ups should only take you 5 minutes. A one mile run takes 6–10 minutes. But they are powerful tools for building discipline. By starting your day with some form of physical activity, you will jump start your success throughout the day and force yourself to do something uncomfortable and difficult first thing in the morning. Do this before your morning cold shower and you will have shown more discipline before 8 a.m. than most people do all day.

Make Your Bed every day when you wake up. Making your bed takes 2 minutes. But it’s a small activity that requires discipline because, there’s no real reason to do it. Sure, it allows you to accomplish one task before you get your day started. But it’s not like making your bed will increase your income, make you more productive, or increase your sex appeal. It’s the ultimate exercise in futility. But you should still do it. Making your bed first thing in the morning puts you into a disciplined and productive state immediately when you start your day. It’s also a powerful motivation to stay awake instead of crawling into the warm sheet. Eliminate Distractions. Distractions kill discipline. If you want to be more disciplined throughout the day, eradicate all distractions. Turn off your phone. Install a Facebook news feed blocker. Turn off notifications on your computer. Focus only on the task at hand. This will allow you to be more focused and productive and will require tremendous amounts of daily discipline. Avoiding the dopamine inducing social media notifications and text messages isn’t easy, but it’s well worth it.

Quit Complaining. Complaining is like cancer in your soul. You have a lot to be thankful for.But every time you complain, you tell yourself that your life sucks and that things aren’t the way that they should be (even when they’re great). So quit complaining. It’s like a poison. It distracts you from the good and makes you focus on everything that is wrong. It makes other people like you less, makes you miss opportunities, and distracts you from living an amazing life. Buy a rubber band and put it on your right wrist. If you find yourself complaining throughout the day, move it to your left wrist. Your goal is to make it 30 days with that rubber band staying on your right hand. If you can do this, your discipline, happiness, and motivation will skyrocket. Hope this helps. Stay Grounded, Cheers!