Your Mind is Playing Tricks on You—Here’s How to Take Back Control

It’s hard to admit, but I used to let my own thoughts hold me back.

On the outside, I looked confident, in control, always pushing forward. But inside? A different story. Late nights filled with overthinking, second-guessing every decision, and that little voice whispering… Was that really enough?

Turns out, I wasn’t alone in this. And neither are you.

The truth is, our minds play tricks on us—every single day. We think we’re in control of our thoughts, but in reality, there are hidden forces shaping the way we see ourselves and the world. And once you understand how these forces work, you can start using them to your advantage.

Let me show you how.

The Psychological Trick That’s Holding You Back

Ever read a horoscope and thought, Wow, that’s so accurate!? Or had a personality test tell you things about yourself that felt eerily spot on?

That’s not magic. That’s psychology.

There’s a mental trick called the Forer Effect, named after psychologist Bertram Forer. He ran an experiment where he gave students personalised personality descriptions—except there was a catch. Every single student received the exact same description.

And yet, almost all of them rated it as highly accurate.

Why? Because our brains are wired to search for meaning. When we read a vague statement like, You sometimes feel confident, but deep down you doubt yourself, our minds fill in the blanks, making it feel personal.

This trick isn’t just used in horoscopes. It’s used by fortune tellers, personality quizzes, and even mentalists like me. But here’s where it gets interesting…

We don’t just fall for this trick in entertainment.

We fall for it in our own self-talk.

How Your Own Mind is Working Against You

Think about this: if you tell yourself, I’ll never be confident, your brain will search for evidence to back that up.

• You’ll remember the time you froze during a presentation.
• The moment you struggled to start a conversation at an event.
• That awkward silence in a business meeting.

Before you know it, you’ve convinced yourself that confidence just isn’t your thing.

But what if you flipped the script?

Instead of saying, I’ll never be confident, try:

?? I wonder what would happen if I started trusting myself more?

Do you feel the difference? One statement shuts you down. The other one opens up possibility.

That’s because our minds don’t just passively observe reality—we shape it based on what we believe.

This is the exact reason why some people seem to effortlessly move through life with confidence, while others feel stuck. It’s not that one group is magically better. It’s that confident people engineer their thoughts to push themselves forward.

The good news? You can do the same.

How to Take Control of Your Thoughts in 3 Steps

If you’re ready to stop letting self-doubt control your decisions, here’s how to start rewriting the script:

1. Spot the Limiting Beliefs

Your first job is to catch the beliefs that are holding you back.

Think about it: when you hear a statement like, You sometimes doubt yourself, but deep down you know you’re capable of more, which part do you focus on?

Do you zero in on the self-doubt? That might be a sign of a limiting belief.

Or do you focus on knowing you’re capable of more? That’s an untapped strength you haven’t fully stepped into yet.

What you focus on matters.

2. Use “Process Suggestions” to Shift Your Thinking

In hypnosis and mentalism, there’s a technique called a process suggestion—a vague statement that directs the brain toward discovery.

For example, instead of saying, I’m bad at networking, try:

?? I wonder what strengths I already have that I haven’t fully used yet?

By asking yourself questions like this, your brain naturally starts searching for evidence of your strengths, rather than proof of your weaknesses.

High performers do this instinctively. They don’t dwell on what they can’t do. They focus on what’s possible.

3. Engineer Your Thoughts for Success

Most people let their thoughts run on autopilot—usually shaped by fear, doubt, and past experiences.

But successful people? They design their thinking.

They don’t wait for confidence to appear. They train their minds to focus on what moves them forward.

And that’s exactly what you can do.

Start paying attention to the thoughts you automatically accept as true. Are they lifting you up? Or are they keeping you stuck?

Your brain is going to fill in the blanks either way—so why not make sure it’s filling them with thoughts that actually help you?

Want to Start Showing Up with More Confidence?

If you’ve ever struggled to start conversations or feel confident in social settings, I’ve got something for you.

Download my FREE Break The Ice training and unlock the 3-step formula that will help you start conversations effortlessly in any situation.

Whether it’s business, networking events, or social situations, this simple yet powerful strategy will change the way you communicate forever.

?? Click here to get instant access: https://bit.ly/4dTZZaz

Let’s Connect

If you found this article helpful, connect with me on my other channels for more insights:

Instagram: @anthonylayespeaks

YouTube: @anthonylaye

Website: anthonylaye.com

For businesses looking to enhance their team’s communication skills or event organisers searching for a high-impact speaker, let’s talk.

As a keynote speaker and thought engineer, I help professionals, leaders, and entrepreneurs stop holding themselves back and start living a life less ordinary. A simple shift in mindset can completely change the way your team performs, communicates, and connects.

Want to book me for a speaking engagement? Or interested in my mastermind programme for those ready to take their life to the next level?

?? Get in touch today.

Final Thoughts

Your mind is either your greatest asset or your biggest obstacle. The difference? How you train it.

Start paying attention to the thoughts that shape your reality. You’re already filling in the blanks—so why not fill them with something that pushes you forward?